...we my knickers from laughing.
A colleague (lets call her Ashley) was telling us a story of a woman who got into her complex unit last night.
Ashley had gone to sleep and accidentally left her front door unlocked the other night and during the wee hours of the morning, a totally drunk woman staggered into her unit by mistake. (Apparently all the units look the same). The wasted Bitch stumbled down the passage into a slumbering Ashley's bedroom.
Her dogs went mad - barking at the intruder. This woke the sleeping Ashley and before she knew was she was she was doing, she'd fekking karate-kicked the intruder square on the chin from pure adrenaline rush and shock.
The rat-arsed slag went flying across the room, smashed into Ashley's cupboard doors and, like in the cartoons, she slid down the cupboard and fell on the floor in a crumpled heap. The lost piss-cat just lay there. Passed out! I shit you not - true story.
Ashley shot up out of bed and ran towards the front door. She then saw that she'd left it her front door open and realised how the stranger go into her house. She ran to the complex's security guards who calmed her down and escourted her back to her unit to investigate.
When Ashley and her armed guard got back to her unit, the inebriated crack-ho had taken off her pants and gotten into her bed! She was fucking snoring away in HER bed!!
The security guard recognised the woman as someone who lives in the complex at number six. The security guard then took the trouserless woman back to her unit and Ashley was left feel a little violated and bewildered.
I mean, how fucking drunk must you be to walk into someone else's house, be kicked in the face, knocked into a cupboard, fall into a heap on the floor, get up, get undressed and get into a strangers bed??
That's fucking hysterical!
How mortified must that woman be? That's if she even remembers.
I bet she's still wondering where her pants are...
I'm still giggling...