Friday, 4 September 2009

Confessions of a Fake Koogal at the Hair Salon


I thought while Kaylin has her afternoon nap, I'll pop out and get a much needed haircut. I didn't really want to leave the house as I should be relaxing and getting better but the salon is so busy over the weekend, I thought I'd be much quicker getting it done today. Over and done with...you know what I mean?
So I walked in and got an appointment straight away. While my hairdresser was snipping away, a bottle blonde cougar bounced into the store clutching her designer handbag and matching Guess sunglasses. Her perfectly manicured finger-nails dripping with gold jewelery. Flashing her new mobile phone...all that was missing was a fucking ugly pint-sized puppy in her over-sized handbag.

A real koogal cougar.You can't buy class or taste...

She made it quite clear that she had an appointment with the "owner" and she was shamelessly flirting (very loudly may I add) with him. My hairdresser and I shared rolled-eyeball glances and smirks as she flirted with a man half her age, flicking her hair and batting her fake eyelash implants at him. She talked loudly about her recent trip to Thailand and how brilliant the shopping was there. She tried to be even more flashy by buying every single Redken hair product in the salon and declared at full volume that she "desperately" needed all of them, which cost her almost R2000!
While she was having her hair primped and puffed, she delved into a large shopping bag and brought out a whack of colourful scarves. As she was proudly dishing them out to all the salon stylists, she was telling them that they were hand-made and pure silk! She kept stroking them and saying how wonderful they are and that she couldn't get enough of them.
I took one look at these "designer" scarves and smiled to myself.  They most certainly were NOT silk - they were cashmere. I giggled inside at this fake skank koogal. I'm certainly not a dedicated follower of fashion, but any moron knows their is a HUMONGOUS difference between silk and cashmere...
I smirked behind my palm, silently dying to tell everyone that their prized scarves all the way from Thailand were not silk...but I bit my lip ....for a while.

As I was paying my hairdresser for another great haircut at the reception desk, I whispered to him "By the way, your designer silk scarf is actually cashmere NOT silk". We shared a smile and I left. I wish I could've remember to wink at him too but you always think of those cool gestures afterward, right?

I wish I could've had the satisfaction of  revealing to everyone that her scarves were impostors and that this koogal didn't know her cashmere from her silk! I mean honestly!!
Instead, I thought it even better to allow her continue to brag to everyone about her designer "silk" scarves as she handed them out left right and center. Stupid Skank!

I bet you $10 cazillion Zimbabwean Dollars, that she got seriously ripped off from the Thai Flea Market cons, who were probably also giggling at her behind their hands.
That'll teach her to flaunt her blatantly obvious "new money".

I had a REALLY good giggle at her expense...am I fucking cruel???

Yeah, I guess I am.

2 comments:

Jeanette said...

LOL that's brilliant Gillian!!

Sally said...

Hahahaha
you really should have spoken up G it would have been funny!Something like 'gosh they look just like the cashmere ones i got at xyz"

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