Tuesday, 8 September 2009

This One Time At Band Camp...

All You HKGK Camping Group Members will be soopa excited to know that payment has been made in full for our HKGK Group October camping trip to one of our favourite nearby camp spot.
Lets now talk about the possible Boeresports. Yes or no?  This is the last time I'm going to ask -then I'm giving it up for a bad idea and we can just have a chill weekend in our hammocks sipping wine and taking over the Family Resort (as we normally do).


Email me your thoughts to gillian@homemakers-sa.co.za or leave a comment below.


Today, I got an email from Rita from Reservations asking to send through our completed Group Form. (it is basically an indenity form that one of the group members has to complete so that at least one individual will  take responsibility for the bill). 


I faxed through the completed form with haste so as not to delay our booking reservation.  This form had a section to complete your "group name".  Without thinking I completed "H.K.G.K".


On the form as a special request, I also asked for our stands to be located close to the ablution blocks which is always good with small children.  I also requested to make use their large grass verge near the entrance on the Saturday for our Boeresports (which we will still confirm).


Resort Rita received my fax and almost immediately emailed me back saying she'd spoken to the Resort Manager and he needed to know what "H.K.G.K" (our group name) stands for.  I wondered why on earth they'd need this information?  I mean we aren't a bunch of international spies who are smuggling in high calibre weapons ready to cock our guns at every man, woman or beast staying at the resort.  We are just a loud bunch of regular goofballs who get together and go on camping trips and tours.


Our camp name stands for "Hier Kom Groot Kak" but I certainly wasn't about to tell Resort Rita that!  We could quite easily be turned away and denied entry.  Rita would reserved the right for us to enter in a heartbeat.  She most certainly has "the powa".  

I think she was eyeballing us as possible trouble makers or even worse - undercover Health Inspectors armed with swabs and other CSI-type chemicals ready to bust their festering ablutions. 


So, I first asked Resort Rita why she needed this information and told her we are just a bunch of family and friends that get together and often visit the resort.  After stalling her for a bit, I eventually I told her the initials stood for "Hier Kom Gauteng Kampers". 

I suspect she may have thought we were some feisty church group wanting to preach the gospel to innocent fellow campers or something equally ridiculous. 

Who knows what Resort Rita thought?


So I lied to the Resort Rita - The Camp Kommandant and I almost certain I will be eternally punished and burn in hell for this fib. 

I'm still not sure why I didn't just tell her the truth?  Resort Rita is a wee bit intimidating and perhaps she'd smack me sharply on the knuckles with her wooden ruler or put me into the Camp Naughty Corner for telling fibs. 


I can actually imagine Resort Rita in her short tight black pencil skirt, patent leather 6 inch stilletoes and tight crisp white blouse.  Her hair in a tight bun, tiny reading glasses perched on the tip on her nose, pointing her finger in ny general directlion. 

She'd, no doubt, force me to wear one of their "soopa trendy" kakhi "This Resort Rocks" T-shirts for the entire weekend and make me ingest a potion that ensures my pee turns purple if I relieve myself in the communial swimming pool. 


(Wait a minute.... perhaps I watch too many dominatrix porn movies and thats one of my secret fantasy....erm EPIC FAIL!!!).  Just joking...I think.


In conclusion, our camping trip is on like Donkey Kong and I'm still very afraid of Resort Rita...any takers on checking in when we get there?

1 comment:

Mark Eames said...

Resort Rita sounds really enticing but I bet you she is 65, had gray hair, stained teeth, and smokes like a chimney!

I would still avoid her at all costs - have fun!

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