Megan: There's a boy teasing me in my class. He's calling me "Sweetie Pie" but all sarcastic.
Me: Do you know what sarcastic means?
Megan: Yes! Like when you say "Oh yeah you look great" when you know they don't.
Me : Yeah, like that.
(Sarcasm is rife in our house - my kids had to learn to deal with it and understand it very early in life)
Me: *Gives the usual confidence booster/bully speech* Don't let anyone get to you, Megan. He's the silly little boy for calling you names. Insult him back! Thinking of something to say to him that will make him think twice about coming back and annoying you.
Megan: What do I say?
Me: Tell him to talk to the hand, hold up your hand like this, give a bit of the old attitude, then call him a Silly Little Boy. Boys your age detest to be called silly and little and boys.
Megan: Oh! *pondering*....Mum, do me a favour...
Me: Sure, Megan...
Megan: Lick my bum and tell me what flavour it is. Next Please! *holding the palm on her hand up with ATTITUDE*
Me : WHAT?!!
Megan very quickly: Like that mum?
Me : *laughing my arse off* Yeah just like that Megan.
With much disapproval from her Daddy...
Daddy: You can't say that!
Me: Why not?! That little bugger is calling my baby ugly names! He deserves some attitude and an insult or two.
Daddy: What if there's a teacher nearby. Then you'll be punished.
Megan whispering to me : I still think its funny *giggle*
So did I...
This is what The Boerewors suggested: