Friday, 30 September 2011

A Shoegasm and Friday Follower #10


Joel  has an brilliant blog called I Was Born Very Young and I was thrilled to fucking bits when he agreed to be my Friday Follower #10!

Plonkers, Presenting Joel Momberg...

Ever think about the impossible dreams and goals you had when you were just a kid?

You know ... those great, unreachable goals that you could never hope to accomplish ... I'm not talking about being an astronaut or explorer or even the President of the United States.

Those might come true.

I'm talking about the ones that you can only dream about. l'll give you some examples of mine ... and why I haven't really grown up yet.

Goal 1: To marry Ann-Margret

Sure she's 100 years old now ... but when I was 13, she was the sexiest actress alive. She's still pretty hot by the way. Back then, she was really hot.

That scene in Bye Bye Birdie when wears that sweater is still the one I remember today. Man ... it was big enough for two and I wanted to be in that sweater with her.

I sent her the only fan letter I ever wrote to anyone. It was filled with lies. I said that I was 21, I had broken up with a girl that looked just like her, I was a doctor (I think) ... maybe I said a surgeon, I asked her if she would go out with me.

She sent me an autographed picture that I treasured.

In my mind it was the only one she ever signed.

Obviously I never got my original wish. But today, I count this as a win ... my wife Debbie not only resembles her ... she's much better looking. And she says I remind her of Elvis (yes ... the fat old Elvis).

Goal 2: To be a professional baseball player

No one knows about this ... and those who know me best will be surprised. My kids have no idea I ever wanted to do this. They are all great athletes who played a variety of sports well.

I played nothing well.

That's why this is in the impossible dream category for me. I was the last to be picked, the one that always played left field DEEP (mainly because at 8 years old, the only balls that came my way were rolling slowly when the shortstop missed them). I had severe asthma and carried an inhaler with me.

Okay, sure ... we all love the stories of overcoming odds and becoming a champion. The only way this was ever going to come true was for me to wake up one morning in a new body.

I finally compromised. I got season tickets to the TB Rays.

Goal 3: To be Jerry Lee Lewis

Notice I said to BE Jerry Lee. He was my earliest idol. Lewis was the bad boy of rock and roll ... his heavy bass rhythm and his staccato treble chords were incredible. I loved the way he rolled up and down the keys, pounded them with his heel, flipped his hair back and hit those high notes when he sang.

The closest I got to being him ... was trying to play like him.

So today when I play the piano ... if you squint your eyes, cover your ears and go into another room ... you would swear I AM Jerry Lee Lewis.

Goal 4: To never grow up
This one I DID achieve.

Thanks Joel!


Oh yes, now its time to link up your pretty heels and leave a comment that you did, so I can come and drool over your choices too.

Silver Belted Strappy Heels $10 (I shite you not!
Georgina Goodman Jamie Leather pumps on Sale for Now £151.91 70% off
Lara Bohic Orange Suede Pumps £276.64
Coral Sling Back Pump $19.95
Print Linen Teal Slingback Wedge $28.00
Have a brilliant weekend and enjoy the rugby!!!

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Vanilla Things I Love

This has been a really hectically busy week for me.  Hence all the lazy posts...sorry I haven't had much time to write this week at all.  

Forgive me!

I love my Vanilla products, vanilla fragrance body creams, vanilla flavoured Yogi Sip and my newest favourite (thanks to Vanilla Blonde Bailey) Vanilla Tea. 

Its great stuff and so refreshing!  Give it a try sometime...

Vanilla Tea
Vanilla YogiSip

Vanilla Sugar
Vanilla Cupcake with Chocolate Mousse Icing
Vanilla Body Butter
Vanilla Fields Perfume
Vanilla Coke
Vanilla Scented Candles
Vanilla Vodka
Remember to Go Caption My Photo Competition!

Stupid Question about a Hyperlink

So, every Dooche-a-Doodle knows how to embed a link into your blog text so that the reader can simply click on the blue hyperlink and be directed towards the relevant site or blog, right?

I see some bloggers embed links when they make comments. It doens't work with me. How the fuck do I do it?

I'm not blonde, I'm just a Plonker.

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Go Kart Day at Megan's School

Megan has a GoKart day at school.  Their classes have been asked to wear different colours.  Megan's colour was blue and asked me to help her make some posters for the cheering involved.  Her class is Grade 2M and they were The Blue Bulls for the day, so here's what we came up with!

Kaylin didn't want to be left out, so we made her own poster which she was dead chuffed with.

Megan's Class Grade 2M

Go Team Blue Bulls

Megan with her Blue Bulls face paint.

School Field

Megan's quick Team Change from the GoKart

Megan's turn to drive the GoKart

Another Team on the track

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Caption My Photo Competition #24

It's that time of week again :  Caption my Photo Competition Toozday. 

Now you Plonkers caption this cracker and make me cackle like an old whore with a carrot up her Turkey Purse. 

And Remember to send me yer photos wearing my BRILLIANT temporary tattoos.  Oh you KNOW who you are!



Monday, 26 September 2011

Monday Music Moves Me #


Xmas Dolly left us with a Freebie this week. But I'm doing my own theme of Scottish Folks Songs or kids songs I remember my mum and my gran singing to me when I was a wee lass.

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Oh Really?!? Connolly Quotes

  • McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.
  • So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
  • When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
  • The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. 
  • Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's
  • Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?
  • I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. . . . That can keep me awake for days..
  • Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey..
  • When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
  • Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit
  • There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter
  • What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
  • I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
  • If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
  • Two guys are talking and one says to the other: "What would you do if the end of the world was in 3 minutes time?" The other one says, "I'd shag everything that moved...What would you do?" And he says, "I'd stand perfectly still."

Saturday, 24 September 2011

Happy Braai Day!

Today is both Heritage Day and Braai Day in South Africa and I celebrated by buying a new pair of dead cute shoes and then we had a braai at home - just the four of us.  Instead of filling up on stax of meat, we decided to make toasties instead with chicken kebabs.  Success.

During the braai we danced to music and did a bit of karaoke.  The perfect day!

My New Shoes!

Dead Cute or what??
No Braai is complete without beer.

Chicken Sosaties and Toasties

Happy Braai Day!

My Three Favourite People jamming

The girls Rockin' on.

A Daft Scots Lass

Daddy showing Kaylin how to turn the sosaties

This is how its done.

Happy Heritage Day.

Hubby and Kaylin

Kaylin gets down and shows us how to split.

Its Karaoke Time!


Related Posts with Thumbnails