Saturday, 29 October 2011

Hoppy Halloween

The 31st of October is Halloween.

The day is often associated with orange (my favourite colour) and black and is strongly associated with symbols like the jack o' lantern, which is usually carved out of a massive pumpkin and a candle put inside.  It looks really creepy and its fun to make.

Halloween was one of my favourite holidays, growing up in Scotland.  But unfortunately South Africa is not big on celebrating this holiday. Fucking Killjoys!

Yeah, it's very unfortunate, because I love dressing up. Anything to get behind a mask and costume to play a creepy character.  It's a great excuse to get away with being bit loony and dippy.

As a young girl, my mum always made us wicked home-made costumes and we traipsed around the neighbourhood trick-or-treating singing silly wee songs

Trick or treat,
smell my feet,
give me something 
good to eat! 

At oor wee hoose, mum always hung up triangle-shaped scone covered in treacle, suspended  on a string from our kitchen doorway.

Everyone who came trick-or-treating got a turn to try to take a huge bite out of the treacle-covered scone.  It was always very messy, getting a face full of treacle, but great fun!

After the Treacle Scone, it was then time for apple bobbing.  This involved my mum hauling out her largest plastic basin and filling it with water and soor apples.  We get doon on all fours next to the basin, put our hands behind our backs and stick our faces in the water and bite into an apple.  Score!

I detested this activity (never did like water up my nose) but at least thre was one concilation, it washed the treacle off yer face.  I've never been that fond of granny smith soor apples either. 

Only toffee apples...scrummy...

Our schools used to have cool costume parties and some enjoyed ghost tours, bonfires, visiting haunted attractions, playing scarey pranks on each other, reading scary stories or watching horror films.

You really don't know what you're missing, South Africa.

Dressing up is truck-loads of fun and the best is, you can be someone totally different for a day.


What are your Halloween Traditions? 

Join Jeremy for A Halloween Hop

And The Winner Is...

The winner of this week's Caption my Photo Competition is Di from YONKS.

Here is what she captioned

Have you suffered an accident through no fault of your own - Contact Dumbass & Dumbass for a no win no fee case!

Friday, 28 October 2011

Fawk You Friday and A Shoegasm

BWS tips button

I've had a week from hell so I thought I'd join Boobies and Christy for Fawk You Friday, since I haven't done one in yonks!

Fuck you to the ghoulish nightmare that infected my youngest's head last night.  I had to get up 8 muthafuckin times during the night to soothe her.  The last two times I was the walking dead and stubbed my fucking baby toe on the side of her bed. 

Fuck you to the incompetent medical aid who rudely rejected my application for chronic medication for my youngests ADHD and ODD meds because she's not of "of school-going age".  What is the reasoning behind that fucking shite?

Fuckity Fuck You to the cocksmoker who cut me off twice yesterday on one stretch of road.  The old pisser was 90 years old in the shade!  Not only was she doing 40kph, but her fucking alzheimers was instantly activated and the elderly old fart failed to remember about mandatory indicators?

Fuck You to our cat Pickles who thinks it scratchies-time when I do my regular 100 sit ups on the floor with my feet hooked under the bed every morning.  Can't a girl do her routine daybreak ab-flexes in peace? 

Now on to something that ALWAYS makes me smile and swoon.  Pretty shoes.  Link up for Friday's Shoegasm and remember to tell me you did, so that I can come and drool over your Hooker Heels.




Jimmy Choo Knock Offs


Spring Wedges from LaJava Style

Thursday, 27 October 2011

The Noughties Blogfest 14 November

Dave Wrote This is hosting  The Noughties Blogfest on the 14 November.  Join me in signing up and celebrating your favourite stuff from the Noughties.

Choose one thing from each year from 2000 to 2009, be it a film, a TV show, a radio show, a particular episode of a TV or radio show, a piece of theatre, a book, a comic, a song, an album, a gig, a piece of artwork, something online or something else entirely, and then tell us what you love about it.

Here are the details on how to take part:
  • Leave your name and link on the linky below. 
  • Feel free to publicise the blogfest on your blog, facebook, twitter, etc and post the above image on your blog if you wish. 
  • On the 14th of November post a favourite something for each year 2000-2009, and tell us what you love about each of them. 
  • Visit as many other participating bloggers as you can. Compare, contrast and comment on their choices.
Sign Up, Plonkers.

Ging Gang Goolie-Goolie Wotchya Ging Gang Goo...

While driving in my car the other day, I had a brain fart and it made me sing this daft wee song out loud in the car. 

The girls looked at me as if I was a complete fucking idiot and so, when I got to work, I had to google it.  I wanted to find out why this silly song was stuck in my head and where I would've learned it from, as a child. 

Post-Google, here is my theory.

I was a Brownie when I was a wee lass for about 5 seconds. 

I loved all the fun games we played at our local church hall. I enjoyed being part of the Sixes and singing all the songs.  I loved wearing the brown uniform and earning badges for helping the aged and stuff like that.  It made me feel important.

I learned my brownie motto, my brownie promise and my brownie salute.  I over-used the salute because it made me feel like I was a member of some secret sorority society.  Daft, I know but I was only 7!

I made my Brownie Promise:
I promise that I will do my best                                   
To do my duty to my God                                                                    
And to my Country
To help other people
And to keep the Brownie Law.

However, I detested all the other "work" we had to do, like learning to say the alphabet backwards and shite like that. 

So, I quit.  

I learned to play the violin instead.

Och well, I never got to be a Girl Guide, even though their uniform was MUCH cooler than the Brownie uniform. The Girl Guides is the next step after you've completed the Brownie stuff.  It usually happens when you're about 10 years old.

Anyhoo, I figured I learned this daft wee song at Brownies.

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

What Questions do you have for A Daft Scots Lass?

I've done this before but I haven't done it in over a year, so I thought I'd haul it out again.

You Plonkers get to ask me all the questions you've wanted to ask but haven't yet.
Once I have a good few questions gathered together, I answer them..

Looking forward to hearing some creative and kickass questions.



♥ EdenFantasys Giveaway ♥

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

Not that kinda Ho - the Christmassy kind, dirty Plonkers!

With Christmas just around the corner, we should be thinking of those special gifts to get your partner, right? 

Lucky for you, with the help of wee me, I am going get your shopping started early this year! Yip, tis soon the season to be jolly, generous and randy.

I'm so shit-a-rainbow-happy to announce that I'm giving away a $30 EdenFantasys Gift Certificate during the month of November.  I hope you guys enter seeing as last time I had a giveaway, it was much more successful and popular than I thought it would be. 

Now that I've done a thorough needs analysis of the ADSL waters, I clearly see that you adult-toy-loving-followers of mine, want the free saucy goodies.  Oh yeah! Gotta love a freebie giveaway, right?

So Plonkers, go visit EdenFantasys and check out their saucy costumes and lingerie, aromatic massage oils and edible gifts.  They have a wide range of sex toys and beyond the ordinary goodies for all you kinksters. 

They also have an entire Gift Centre for holiday gifts, which includes Love Cards.  They offer FREE shipping with orders over $59.  They have a FREE returns policy and they do same-day dispatch.  They offer a FREE gift with each purchase.  Pretty fucking on-the-ball if you ask me.

So here's the deal.  For each of these you do, you get one enter
  • Leave a comment (must have a valid email address) about what you'd purchase from the website.
  • Follow my Blog
  • Follow me on Twitter @ADaftScot
  • Put my button on yer blog (check my side bar)
  • Follow @EdenFantasys on Twitter
  • Blog About the Giveaway
  • Put an EdenFantasys linky button on yer blog.
  • Tweet about the giveaway: Win a $30 Gift Certficiate @ADaftScot @EdenFantasys
  • Visit and Follow EdenCaf√© Blog

Remember to leave an individual comment for each entry. 

The Winner will be chosen by on 19 November and the voucher will be emailed to you.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Caption My Photo Competition #28

Toozday means you need to haul out your creativity and your hilarity and put it to good use. 

Caption this daft photo and win something from A Daft Scots Lass.

Monday, 24 October 2011

Kaylin's Concert and Megan's Sports Day Pix

As a clown at her school concert. She danced to LMFAO's Party Rockers and was front and centre loving the limelight. 

Group Photo

Megan's Sports Day at School.  Team Blue Bulls

Megan with her Poster

Megan at her School Sports Day

Sisters : Megan and Kaylin

Got Van Gogh's ear for music?


Since Monday Music Moves Me is a "freebie" over at Xmas Dolly this week, I'm featuring The Blues just because its sooo fucking awesome and bad ass!  Enjoy.

Saturday, 22 October 2011

And The Winner Is...

Congratulations to all who commented and left brilliant captions.    You Plonkers always make me laugh!  Yeah, the potatoes one was a fucking cracker but ...

....there can only be one winner and this week it is Mr Know It All

G-Man, email me your shipping address to and I'll be sending you a wee sumfink!

Here's the winning caption:

A few more bottle returns, and Sunny can complete the 'Trans-gender' process...

Friday, 21 October 2011

A Shoegasm and Friday Follower #14

Hey! Hey! It's Friday, which means its time to feature another one of my brilliant and talented followers.  This week our Friday Follower is fiesty Katie.


When Gillian asked me to guest post for her I was super stoked…but I kept thinking, what the heck do I write about? I write over at and have been blogging there for almost a year..prior to that I blogged at A Shoppers Quest for two years…I am not a newbie to blogging, but I sure can’t figure out what I really want to do as far as my blog goes. Right now I do a lot of blogging about North Carolina, although I leave out the redneck know..cause I live here.

Being born and raised in California, moving to North Carolina was a serious culture shock…I have lived here for almost 10 years, and quite frankly still am getting used to it. Maybe there is no getting used to seeing people on the news with no teeth, talking about how “My darlin’ baby mama ran away wit’ my cousn’ when we was playin’ corn hole and dranking a few beers.” Nope…just can’t get used to it.

I also tend to write a lot of sappy stuff when it comes to my mom. She has Stage 4 lung cancer with mets to her liver, and my God, I am pissed off and scared about that. Without letting all my rage and sadness show through, I do write about it occasionally because I am PISSED.

Do you get that I have a little temper? I do…but for the most part, I keep it on the down low on my blog, because no one wants to listen to someone bitch and complain every day. So I put on a smile and get the job done…unless of course we are talking about my soccer team.

Oh yea..I play soccer…I think it’s a pretty good way to let off some steam. Especially when we play the “No Name Team” And no, they can’t even think of a real name for their team…pffft..and you call yourselves soccer players…HA!

Apparently, they forgot to read the memo that we are not in the Olympics. When we win…we get….NOTHING. It’s like playing a bunch of women thugs in shorts. You want to see a chick fight? Come on down and watch us play, they never, ever leave the field without trying to fight someone. Or worse, start complaining when they are losing. Yea…go cry to the 15 year old ref about it…he cares…not.

And oh’s Friday…and guess who we are playing? 

Now, DO NOT click the close button just yet until you've checked out my Budgie Price heels - Cheap! Cheap! This week all droolicious shoes are from

Steve Madden Women's Pammyy Wedge Pump $99

Betsey Johnson Women's Dita Platform Pump $89.99

Badgley Mischka Women's Randee T-Strap Sandal $75

Michael Antonio Women's Linney Pump $36.99

Wild Rose Women's Kobe37A Open-toe Pump $25.00

Not Rated Women's Frilled Platform Pump $26.99

Be sure to have a FANDABIDOZIE weekend, Plonkers and don't forget to enter Caption My Photo Competition (if you haven't already).

Peace Out.

Thursday, 20 October 2011

The benefits of jumpin around like a Eejit

Eat right, exercise, die anyway, right?

Well, two out of three ain't bad.

Most of you know that I remorselessly attack the treadmill at the gym at least three to four times a week, but last week we bought Kinect for our XBOX 360, which puts a wee bit of a spin on things.

Over the weekend, we spotted Dance Evolution for XBOX and a Brain Fart was enigmatically secreted - I could dance my way skinny!

I tried it out on Sunday morning and 20 minutes into the game I was sweating like an anxious professional WWFer on steroids! What a fucking work out and it was fun. I was giggling like a wee school lassie, trying to keep up with all the moves. When they were going left, I was going right. When they were up, I was down.

I thought I was pretty fit with me raping the Orbitrek mercilessly at gym 4 times a week but I couldn't have been more wrong!

So, you wanna try a new type of work-out and you have an XBOX at home? Get Dance Evolution, its a good laugh and you'll be drenched in reeky moisture like a rabid racehorse!

It is well-documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to yer life. This enables you at the age of 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at R8000 per month.

That's the fucking shizzle!

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Happy 4th Blogversary To Me!

Everyone sing it!  

"Happy Blogversary to yooooo"....

Yeah, it's been a wild 4-year ride on this my wee bloggy.

Starting initially it was named; "A Peek Into Our Lives" and was a glorified photo album for relatives overseas and later it evolved into "A Daft Scots Lass" getting all rauncy, saucy and sexed-up and then cleaning it all up again.

A Daft Scots Lass has grown to over 500 fucking awesome followers, over 1900 posts and on average about 500 hits a day.  I have met some brilliant and unique people here in Bloggerville and some of them have become friends I turn to for advice. 

I read nearly 200 blogs on regular basis and I try to keep up to date on my comments on all of them. I follow so many different types of people - writers, strippers, psychics, stay at home mums, grandads, crafters, poets, closet gays, family, photographers, blog hoppers, swingers, geeks, vocie artists, cartoonists, proudly gay, whack-a-doodles, fashion junkies, musicians, radio presenters, ghost hunters, potheads of all colours and from all different countries.  

I'm a Scot in South Africa, but did you know that most of my following are Yanks?  Weird but true. Who knows why... 
My blogging taken many twists and turns over the 4 years but I still love it!  It's something that allows me to express myself without claiming to be a writer, its my place where I write whats in my head, just as it comes out.  I don't put too much thought into it. 

I blog like I speak. My posts will often be full of spelling mistakes and I know that bugs the shite outta you writers but that's just me.  I have never claimed to be anything other than a blogger - not a writer.

Thanx to all of you for reading my drivel, commenting and following.  

You Plonkers rock my fucking face off!

To celebrate the occasion, I'm giving away some Daft Scots Lass Tattoos to the Plonkers that are brave enough to wear my ink and take a photo doing so. 

Challenge is on like Donkey Kong!

I got a new stick deodorant today.
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.  
    I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Caption My Photo Competition #27

Can you believe this is the 27th week that I've posted a daft or freaky picture up on ma wee bloggy for you Plonkers to caption?

Oh, how I look forward to Toozday every single week!

You intellectuals have stolen the show by composing original, witty and down-right thigh-slappingly hilarious captions, which have made me cackle like an old Hooker with a corpulent carrot up her Turkey Purse. 
So, this week is no different...

....Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

Caption this Cracker, Plonkers and win one of the famous Daft Scots Lass Tattoos that Bloggers are wearing around the Blogsphere...

Monday, 17 October 2011

Monday Music Moves Me


Its Monday again, Plonkers and that means you need to go click on Xmas Dolly's button above to link up with Monday Music Moves Me.  The theme to day is any song about animals or with an animals name in it.

In my twisted mind that includes Animal from the Muppets!

The best White Stripes album ever!  "Elephant". Jack is fucking genius with that guitar.

Song from the 60's show "The Monkeys"

One of my favourite bands.  The Artic Monkeys

Couldn't leave out AC/DC

Have a Happy Boss's Day and be sure to visit tomorrow for #27 of  Caption My Daft Photo Competition.   Oh you know you wanna win one of my BRILLIANT tattoos. 

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Blog Action Day - Food Glorious Food

So, Plonkity-Plonkers...its Blog Action Day today and the theme this year is Food.  One of my favourite things, that's why my arse resembles the rear of a Renault Megane.  It's so fucking wide!

Anyhoozer, if you're anything like me and domestically challenged...  actually, I'm not that bad.  It's just that I don't enjoy cooking or being in the kitchen.  I'm certainly no Domestic Goddess but I can calculate kilojoules to calories and back again with uncanny precision because I'm forever on diet.  

My meals in the kitchen are what my loving family call "The Quick and Nasty". 

Don't get me wrong, I CAN cook and bake if I want to, when I feel the desire (which is not often) but I'd rather not, quite frankly.  Lets just say I could think of dozens of other things I'd rather be doing. I do what I need to do - get in - get out - clean up - done.  That's A Daft Scots Lass in the kitchen.  

So, I thought I'd talk about Cooking Classes and what I found while Googling for it.

Take The Anatomy of Food Cooking Classes within the comfort of your own home. Anatomy of Food chef, Aimee Hunter will instruct you, you and your preferred partner, or you and three of your closest friends on how to enhance your home cooking with local ingredients.

Braise, bake, and baste to your heart's delight with the season's bounty:  think Winter vegetables and Fall fruit crumbles. Not your average food blogger or cooking instructor, chef Hunter will teach you how to make a favorite dish sustainably or revisit the basics to enhance your health and everyday cooking. 

Learn in an intimate setting, solo or with your best pals, over a glass of mulled wine if you so choose. They say that's the anatomy of a great evening!

If all the pomp and and garnishing is not for you, then head on out to MacDonalds for a 4 year old cheese burger!

And The Winner Is...

You Plonkers once again made me week again by captioning my daft photo. 

This week's winner is ib from Habitual Hobbit . Pop me an email with you shipping address and I'll be sending you a wee something.  Here's what he wrote:

Confucius say,
If you find yourself in a tough situation, stay calm and don't lose your head. What a crock!!

Now, go and have a brilliant weekend!


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