Saturday, 14 January 2012

Marriage is NOT a word, its a sentence...

Jokes aside, Plonkers...

...I read this inspiring story on Jamerican Spice's blog and it got me pondering (yeah, this happens with me from time-to-time).  

"Do you love your partner more than you love your children"?

This statement always makes me think of the debate my BFF and I have over this subject.  She says her kids will always come first and I say my husband always come first. 

We argue our various opinions back and forth and we will never alter our points-of-view.  A bit of background about our friendship:

We've been best friends for 13 years and that just happens to only be one year more than I've been married.  So, my BFF has known me before marriage, she was at my wedding, she knew me before kids, she was there when Megan was born and my children call her "Aunty Mandy".  Mandy was even there during my early stages of labour with my second born and looked after my first born, Megan while I went to the hospital to birth Kaylin.  Mandy is our primary babysitter and she refers to the girls are "our girls" when she speaks to me about them. 

This just goes to show you that you can have a close relationship with someone who doesn't share EVERY opinion you do.

Anyhoozer, back to my story about who comes first in your family. 

Some may be surprised to know that I put my marriage first.

I believe that R and I chose each other before we decided together to have children. 

I believe that marriage is the foundation for a family.

Oh, I know that these two are two COMPLETELY different types of love and you really can't compare them.  My love for my girls is totally unconditional.  It is a no-matter-what-type of love that needs less work and comes more naturally to me. 

My love for my husband is priceless and romantic - those intimate little gestures and glances we share, when we don't have to use any words.  A single look can say a thousands words.  It's holding hands in the check out que and the physical attraction and passion.  It's also a friendship - someone who is there when times are at a high and at a low.  When we stand together we're an invincible team.

Power in a Family Bubble.
R is the leader in our family. That certainly doesn't mean I'm submissive and take his word as gospel. No frikken way!  I am a redheaded Scots Lass with a strong will and flappin lips.  I have my say, but we've learned to talk about things, we've learned to communicate with each other, we sometimes bicker and fight about stuff because our opinions on things are completely different. But we can come to decisions together or agree to disagree. Then the outcome is implemented by R.

I just know that if R and I are NOT on the same page, it affects our children.  We need to keep each other happy in order to be able to navigate positive and loving parenting. 

I think we're teaching our children that marriage is important, fun and solid.  And, if you work at building a strong and respectful partnership team, they are learning valuable lessons from us.

What are your views on puting your children before your partner?


Brian Miller said...

this is a great post...i think that too many put their kids first and of course we see that now in the divorce rate and entitled children that throw tantrums when they dont get what they want...

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Lass, I totally agree with you! We don't have kids, but my wife would still come first. We're of the opinion that it's God first, spouse second, children third.
Your relationship sounds really solid to me.

Michael Offutt, Visitor from the Future said...

A nice essay on marriage. Too bad that there are people in the United States right now that do not have the right to legally marry because they are gay couples. I'm glad that you can blog about this. If you lived in my state (Utah) and had a domestic partner in the hospital, you wouldn't even have the right to visit them because you are not family.

cat said...

Fantastic post and I do agree with you 99,99%

Outsourced Communications said...

Such a true post. Hubby and I may love our daughter and put her needs before everything but at the end of the day (as you so aptly point out) there was the 2 of us before there was the 3 of us. If we do not have a good relationship - our daughter will be the first to suffer.
Happy marriage, Scots Lass (especially with your new bed :-))


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