Thursday, 26 April 2012

Wanker or Wankee?

And the A to Z Challenge continues. 

We are on the last stretch now, Plonkers and I've met so many Wonderful Bloggers along this journey.  You guys are frikken rockin' this challenge.  

Thanx to all the new visitors for stopping by and leaving comments, or not.

Today's Motto is 

Wish


I wish a lot.  On a daily basis.

It usually starts by Aspiration Wish under my breath.

Whisper to myself: Geezo, I wish those two lassies would stop fucking bickering.

Then usually followed by a silent Prayer Wish.

Prayer: God, please let them stop fighting and give me strength!

My wishing then progresses into a longing and smart Request Wish.

Raising my voice: I wish you girls would stop fighting, please!

Girls Giggling: Sorry, mum!

By then I’m getting aggravated and my voice crescendos into a displeased Demand Wish.

Shouting like a rabid banshee: You girls better stop it or I’m getting the wooden spoon!

My wish is now a demand and my face has turned a pretty shade of fuchsia. My veins are about to explode and I am bordering on fucking heart failure. I stomp towards the kitchen frantically digging in the drawer for a sturdy wooden spoon to smack bottoms with.

My Infuriated Wish is genuinely fugly, Plonkers

Foaming at the mouth: What don’t you understand about “ stop fighting!”??

Both girls get speedy smacks to the bum with the wooden spoon and a few minutes later I’m riddled with guilt and brought to tears.

Amongst the tears, snot and sniffing, I think to myself : All I wished for was for them to stop bickering.

Not matter what type of wish, my wishes hardly ever come true.


Today's Insult is a level 2 Insult.

Wanker

Everyone does it, whoever says they don't is a fucking liar! It takes a Wankee to know a Wanker.  

To call someone a Wanker is not that bad of an insult but its such a fun one to say.  Go on give it a try.  Say it out loud.


That wee man choking the monkey is distracting you isn't he?  Yip, that's what a Wanker is supposed to do.  Mission accomplished.


Here's a good one for a t-shirt.




Wank Out

15 comments:

Mark said...

You have the best animated porn site out there!
m.

YeamieWaffles said...

Wanker has to be one of my all time favourite insults Lass, I love it haha. Seems like wishing does sometimes work as well.

Copyboy said...

I like how your W and Vs relate. Though in an uncomfortable way. Haha

Claire Hennessy said...

I must admit, Wanker is one of those words that is really great to say. I used to have a stupid song I would sing to my ex: "J's a wanker, J's a wanker, wankey, wankey, wankey J" LOL Who's the child?? And I wonder why he's my ex ha ha ha

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Surprised I haven't seen anyone wearing that t-shirt.

Sam said...

hahaha, you just crack me up hun! I now know all the different ways to wish ;)

Chiz said...

Ooo, that is fun to say. It's also great to see my coworkers' reactions when they see that little animated .gif.

Stephanie said...

Ha! Love the pics. Sorry your little ones didn't make your wishes come true. ;)

Curmudgeon said...

A bottle of lotion, a box of kleenex and a computer. Keep your man happy.

Nancy Stewart said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Appreciate it.

Not So Simply Single said...

Wanker, wanker, wanker.

I like that word.

Haven't touched one in a month, but the little man yanking it on this post makes me laugh!

David Macaulay said...

although this probably a truism I could never imagine my grandparents wanking off.

Deb said...

G'day, I'm dropping in from the A-Z challenge. Hilarious post. We use tosser more than wanker here in Aus but either is a pretty good indication that you have been called a tool.

Mina Lobo said...

Many, many moons ago, back in the 80s, John Taylor of Duran Duran (ad one of the others in the band, I forget which right now) were being interviewed on a local NY radio station. John said something had made him feel like "a right willy." One of the DJ's said, "A willy?" in a Godawful fake English accent, while the other DJ asked, very clearly, "Is that anything like a wanker?" Well, that shocked the hell out of JT, who sort of gasp-laughed and swiftly changed the subject. Haha...:-)

Some Dark Romantic

The Glebe Blog said...

I don't know if all your followers can get our YouTube, but there's a link to Ivor Biggun's song
Here

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