Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Take a Nipple Stand. Get a Grope

Get a Grope


This dude gets to grope a whole bunch o' titties.



10 Things to Do with Boobs

1.  Jump
Watch those tahtahs bounce. If you hubby doesn't allow you to jump on the bed, buy a trampoline and jump for joy!


2.Glass Press
This is an especially sexy move to do while you're taking a shower. Or, if you don’t have a glass door shower, you can use any window pane in his view, like the one that faces the backyard while he’s mowing the lawn. Get your girls pressed up against the glass, and we’ll bet he’ll find a way to get to you.


3. Cleveage Lipstick
And then leave your mark all over him! This move was made famous by Molly Ringwald in “The Breakfast Club.” However, not one person on YouTube has uploaded the clip (WTF Plonkers?!), but this blond chick can show you how. Basically, all you have to do is squeeze your boobs together with your arms, stick a lipstick (or a lip gloss wand makes this trick easier) in your cleave, tilt your head down and around, and voila! The perfect, sexy pout.


4. Dress the Twins
Everything looks better behind a thin veil of satin, lace, feathers, whipped cream.  I have two words for ye WONDER BRA ... . Even guys who say they don’t care about lingerie will perk up if they see you in something sexy. Work it!


5. Cup Dip
Climb on top of his lap and lean forward into his face. It’s distracting. It’s a great tease to do when someone is trying to undress you. This Brilliant Boob Move makes it harder/better/slower/funner.


6. Tassle Twirl
OK, so this woman is clearly a pro.  She is Jo Boobs and she wrote the book on how to twirl tassels and all the other fucking sexy burlesque moves. But even if you can’t bend over backwards covered in beading and glitter, there is still a tassel that you can work! Just practice a little first and then you’ll love watching drawers drop.

7.  The Finish Line
Yes, that’s a euphemism. But if you’re not trying to make a baby, it’s a fun way to get him to pull out and go out with a bang!


8.  Shimmy Yer Shakers
Turn on some tunes and shake it like a Polaroid picture. Is there anything better than the simple pleasure of watching boobs jiggle?

9.  Pocket Rockets
Hide a surprise he'd like in your tits, perhaps a sexy note with an even sexier suggestion written on it.


10.  Wet T-Shirt
Put on a white or light-colored shirt. Pour water. And BAM! Heck, just writing this got “Pour Some Sugar On Me” stuck in my head.


3 comments:

middle child said...

I used to win alot shooting pool because of this. I still do the thing where my husband is outside and I call him from the window and lift my shirt. He yells my name in fake disapproval.

Semi Madman said...

I LOVE BOOBS!

Addman said...

"harder/better/slower/funner" sounds like a porno version of Daft Punk.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails