Saturday, 30 June 2012

And The Winner Is...


This week's winner is the wonderful writer, Alex J. Cavanaugh

His caption is brilliant. 

He captioned:

Damn the force is strong with this one!




Friday, 29 June 2012

Freaky Friday and a Shoegasm

I can't tell you how happy I am that its Friday.  Yipeeeeeeeeee.  This has been a week to write home about.

Happy Friday, Plonkers...thoughts I'd throw a wee bit of Freaky this Friday.

Get yer Freak on!



I thought this bloke's tattoo was pretty fucking freaky!



Yeah, you know it....it wouldn't be the same without a Shoegasm or three.

Chanel Pistol Pumps

Lipstick Pumps

Hoof Shoes. Pretty cool but a lot creepy too.

Only a few days to VOTE.  Have a brilliant weekend. 

Remember to pop in tomorrow and find out who won this week's Caption my Photo Competition.

and a wee song to make you feel goooood.  Mr Freaky Rubber Legs himself.  Classic.

Thursday, 28 June 2012

How to Make Miracles

Yesterday I was going through our external hard drive with a friend looking for old pictures for her and I came across my girls' newborn photos and was overwhelmed with emotions.  It brought back many memories and feelings.  It made me realise how awesome it is being a mum, being a parent. 

Its the most rewarding and yet the most daunting job in the world!  If you gave me the choice of being rich and famous or having my wee family.  I would choose family EVERY time.  I love my job as a mum as every day is never the same and each stage of my girl's life is a celebration.

When I fell pregnant with Megan I had no clue what I was in for.  No clue!  I was one of those young girls who never did any baby sitting, I turned into one of those women who never got broody when a baby was near.  I wouldn't coochy coochy coo and pinch cheeks.  I would think those women who did that were all a wee bit loopy and wondered what all the fuss was about.  I wondered if I would ever have a motherly instinct that would "kick in" when I gave birth to my wee button.


Turns out that I went into pre-term labour at 35 and a half weeks and Megan was born after only 5 hours of labour and an epidural.  She was a healthy  2.6kg.  I was in love instantly. The second she was put in my arms and I said to my Boerewors "We made Her!  Isn't it a miracle?". 

Within an hour of being born Megan was whipped away from me as she was having trouble breathing and taken to NICU. 



Wee Froggie
She had a hole in her lung! 

Within only hours of her being born she developed double pnuemonia and a day after that she got jaundice and had to sunbathe under the lights for a few days.  My brand new baby had to be tube fed as her sucking reflex wasn't quite there yet. 


Sun-bathing for her jaundice

The stress of leaving the hospital the following day after giving birth to my perfect little girl with an empty carry cot, broke my heart!  The next two weeks were a daze, worrying, no sleep, traveling back and forward to the hospital for feeds, to cuddle her, to just hold her hand and stroke her hair.  All I wanted to do was take her home.  After two weeks, we got to take her home and it was the happiest day of my life!  I could watch her, touch her, kiss her, 24-7 and she was the most beautiful little person (in my eyes of course).

Her First Bottle - 6 days old
Megan was a very easy baby after this and I considered us lucky.  She slept through the entire night at 7 weeks and she never had any illnesses worse than a cold or flu.

Then....

Kaylin, just born
....Kaylin came along! 

KK was born at 37 weeks on the dot and was the tiniest little person I'd ever seen!  Another fast labour of 4 and a half hours and with no drugs (even though I wanted them) it happened all too fast so everything was all natural! 

I couldn't believe I done it all on my own with no drugs and when I held her in my arms she looked like a wee doll.  She was only 2kg - even the prem clothes were too big for her.

However, despite her being even smaller than Megan's birth weight she had no medical complications, I walked from the labour ward to my ward bed with Kaylin and went home after 36 hours in the hospital. 

Kaylin in her daddy's hand

Sisters meet for the first time

Kaylin one week old alongside one of Megan's dolls. 
She was teeny weeny!!!

However things were soon to change....

Kaylin was a sickly newborn and suffered from reflux and for a teeny wee person she could hurl puke at you with deadly accuracy. It would fountain from her minature mouth with great force and then smile afterwards.

Her first hospital visit was when she was only 12 weeks old and yet she smiled!


After that it was in and out of the hospital for the next two years with various things including pneumonia, chest infections, raging temperatures, Rosella, chronic bronchitis, etc the list goes on.

After many doctors and specialist visits, we eventually went to a HomeoTech who discovered Kaylin was very stressed out and had a dairy intolerance. But she still smiled.

Cows milk was banned in our house and we swapped to Soy products.  After that she went from strength to strength.  Her appeteit improved and she ate everything in sight.  I always joke about Kaylin that if you sprinkle sugar on shite, she'd eat it.  She really isn't a fussy eater and after Megan who still eats like a bird - it was a God send.

Kaylin with Chicken Pox
After all we've been through with these two little girls, I couldn't love them enough.  They make me smile, they make my heart warm, they bring me such joy. I want to kiss and hug them to death and I can't stop telling them how much I love them and how special they are. 

When I think about how we made them from scratch, how they grew in my belly from a tiny seed into a wee person,  how I gave birth to them and watch them cut the cord that attached us together... 

We've watched them grow and develop everyday and it still blows me away!  I still can't believe how perfect and beautiful they are.  Every child is a complete miracle and each one so completely different.

My two precious gifts from above and my Boerewors who is my precious gift down below. 

These three people are my everything. 

I am in awe of them everyday and I couldn't be happier. 

Nothing could possibly be more fulfilling than being someone's Mum.

Who knew two little girls would change my world forever?


My Wonderful Girls....



66% Get Their Rocks Off Everytime!

Did you know....66% of South Africans orgasm almost every time they have sex.

South Africans are among the top in the world when it comes to having The Big O, the Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey has found. 

In all, 66 % of South Africans orgasmed almost every time they had sex, a figure equalled only by Spaniards, Mexicans and Italians beating Brazilians into second place at 65 %.

"The survey shows that a fulfilling sex life contributes to our overall sense of wellbeing and general health, and that orgasms can play an important part in achieving this," said Durex South Africa brand manager Byron Bekker in a statement.

The Ping-Pong-Popping Asians didn't fair to well on the survey...poor slanty-eyed bastids.  From Hong Kong and China were least likely to orgasm at 24%, followed by the Japanese at 27%.

In SA, 87% of people are sexually content.

The research was conducted among 26,000 people in 26 countries, and questioned aspects of people's sex lives, their health, general wellbeing, education, beliefs, sex and relationships, attitudes to sex and social circumstances.

According to the survey, 58% of all people who usually achieved orgasm were content with the emotional aspects of their sex life, compared with 29% of those who rarely climaxed.

In addition, eight out of 10 (77%) of those who frequently climaxed felt close to their partners during sex, as opposed to 54% of those who had difficulty having orgasms.

In South Africa, nine out of ten (87%) people who usually orgasmed felt at ease with themselves sexually and 60% were psychologically healthy compared with 50% of the British.

Massages and sex toys enhance the amount ahd intensity of women's orgasms.  No shite, Sherlock?

Although 83% of South African men almost always climaxed during sex, only 49% of women did. The survey found that massage could be effective in improving the number and intensity of orgasms, as could spending more protected time with partners, and that sex toys could enhance the quality of women's orgasms, as could more foreplay.

Go South Africa!

Ride 'em Cowboy!

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

A Rough Day

Kaylin went for her first assessment with the Speech Therapist on Monday this week. Two hours and R950 poorer, my wee lassie was knackered. All the focus and concentrating took it out of her and she fell asleep on the way back to school on the back seat of the car.

I dropped her off and sped back to work, knowing that they’d been pissed at me for taking so long. My eyes were leaking from being told that my wee lassies needs lots of speech therapy at least once a week as her expressive vocab is on par with that of a 4½ year old. Her interpretive vocab is age appropriate, she just needs help verbalizing herself and learning to form correct and full sentences. 

Kaylin hides this very well, though. She hides behind her humour and dramatics or avoids you like the plague if you're pressing her.  She is not confident about speaking at all but rather uses facial expressions and sounds to get a laugh.

Kaylin is 6 and needs to go to “big school” next year.

I am doing everything in my power to get her “school ready”.  Her ADHD meds help but she also attends Occupational Therapy once a week (she needs more, but we can’t really afford it).   Kaylin is a happy wee lassie and oblivious to why she goes to “PLAY” at all these lady’s offices. She thinks we’re just visiting. I feel overwhelmed and forever rushing here and there with her. I can only trust that I'm doing the best for her as I'm not a professional in these areas.

Today at the OT, she suggested that I have the Neurologist do a cat scan on KK to make sure that she has no neurological nerve damage to her brain. Just to rule it out. This scared me. She said that she’s never seen a case this severe.   The fact that Kaylin battles to recall simple words, express herself in sentenses and follow simple instructions.   Kaylin gets extremely frustrated when she can’t do something or finds it difficult. She immediately gets extremely anxious, starts talking “baby talk” and pulls back. You can see the apprehension on her wee face. It breaks my heart.

It was a very emotional day yesterday.  I cried a lot.  Normally I just "get on with it" but yesterday I just broked down. I felt alone and helpless.

I'm praying we can out-rule it and with long-term treatment with the OT and speech therapist we can experience improvement. 

In the meantime we are still searching for a suitable primary school for my wee lass.



Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Caption My Photo Competition #57


Time to caption another humdinger of a daft image, so haud yer wheesht, Plonkers.

Last week I had AimeeKay sent me a photo of her fabulous Daft Scots Lass Tattoo.  Seeing as she suffers from skin allergies, she plastered her brilliant tat all over her feeshy tank. 

Thanx for a great photo of yer Temporary Tattoo.

 
Here's your chance to win your very own wickedly wonderful Daft Scots Lass temporary tattoo.

Caption this manky whopper.



Go have a lookie at my 40th Birthday Bash photos HERE

Monday, 25 June 2012

Happy Monday


Today's Monday Music Moves Me is a freebie, which means anything goes.



Tommy Cannon and Bobby Ball. Funny stuff







Sunday, 24 June 2012

40th Birthday P-A-R-T-Y

My 40th Birthday Bash was last night and it was BRILLIANT.  50 of my family and friends all together in one room, dressed up as Super Heros and Villains.  Nearly everyone made an effort to dress up and it was awesome.  I pretty much danced the entire evening and drank WAY too many shooters.  My sister had made a video for me which brought a tear to my eye.  All-in-all a AWESOME time.

A Daft Scots Lass as Cat Woman and NO, that's NOT a wig.  Thats my actual hair colour now.  Don't worry, it will only last 4 to 6 weeks.

Megan as The Joker

My Boerewors as Fat Bastard

Kaylin as The Hulk

The Awards

The Awards
Table Centrepieces

The Cake

Cake Table

Flags

Family Shot

Venue
Daft Scots Cat

The Joker and Harley Quinn

Convict Chris in the Telephone Booth

Count Dracula

Cruela De Ville and Two Face

Batman, BatGirl, Superman and Zorro

Punch Cups

Venue and Backdrops

Headshot Victim Dirk

Hulk and CatWoman

SuperGirl and Evil Queen

My Joker and My Wee Hulk

My Girls

SuperHero Lollypops

Power Ranger Richard

Superman and Preggie Super Woman

Ninja Turle Donatello and The Queen of Swords

SuperGirl

PowerPuff Girl and A Daft Scots Cat
Cruella and Zorro


Queenie on the Dance Floor

Justin and CatWomanSam

The Myburg Bundle

Green Lantern

Captain America and Eve

And Then it was time to hand out the awards.  It was so hard to choose only four favourites from all the awesome costumes and everyone had gone all out and paid so much attention to detail. 

 The categories were: Best Dressed Overall, Best Dressed Comic Hero, Best Dressed Evil Villain, WTF Award and Party Animal 

Best Dressed Overall Award

Won by Donatella

Best Evil Villain

Best Comic Hero

WTF What The Fuck Award?

And Guess Who got Party Animal Award?  I decided to hand it over to my daughter Meg who was on the dance floor all night rockin her breakdance moves.

Then it was time to hit the dance floor.  The laser lights and the smoke machine were switched on and it was time to wiggle our bodies.  I was here most of the night.


Rockin It

Yeeeah!

Dale and Srjden

Groovin it with Meg and Dirk

Whoooohooooo

Interesing shot showing the laser lights
We took the left-over cake to the cop-shop next door.  Talk about sucking up??

How many people did we fit in that telephone booth??

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