Multiple Shoegasm and a Flash 55

Happy Friday, Plonkers!

 The purpose of Flash Fiction Friday 55 is to write a complete story in exactly 55 words.  As always, FFF55 is hosted by The kick-arse G-Man. Go visit him, link up and write your own 55. 

Summer knocks discreetly at the door

I answer wearing my straw hat and a grin

I greet him with a welcoming embrace

The warm breeze tugs at my brim

I tie the pretty ribbons under my chin

Blissful sunshine on my pale neglected skin

Painting my skin a vibrant glow

Such an elegant shade of crimson

Time for a Multiple Shoegasm....

leave a comment if you've linked up and show me some of your pretty heels.

So Incredibly Sexy

Black Spotted Platforms GBP15

Oh Em Gee.  No Fekking Way!  I'd give a month's salary for these!

Gorgeous with Jeans!

Pretty Girlie Purple Heels

So, this weekend I have to change everyone's wardrobes from winter clothes to summer clothes.  Now that Spring is officially a couple of days away, and the weather is definitely much warmer, I need to dig out all my summer stuff.  I'm actually scared that half of it won't fit me any more.  So, its probably going to look like the fashion police fucking puked in my home this weekend. I'll have to do truck loads of washing and ironing - sorting and packing away of all my winter woolies.

Also, next week I have surgery with my 6 year old and I'm really stressing about it because she absa lootly DETESTS hospitals.  I'm not sure how I'm going to play it, but I'm only going to play it by ear on the day.  I want to "prepare" her but at the same time the anticipation makes her anxious. 

Any suggestions?

Breakfast Cups

Breakfast Cups

 

Ingredients: 

 

Bread

Bacon

Egg

Cheese

 

Method: 

 

1.  Cut Bread rounds to fit the bottom of your muffin pan.

2.  Place cooked bacon around the inside edge of the muffin pans.

3.  Sprinkle in some grated cheese.

4.  Crack in an egg.

5.  Sprink more cheese on the top

6.  Bake in the oven at 180degrees C for 10 to 15 minutes (depending on how your like your eggs).

 

Breakfast Cups

Cut rounds of bread to fit the bottom on your muffin pan

Add Cooked Bacon around the edges of the muffin pans

Sprinkle in some grated cheese

Crack in your eggs

 

More cheese on top before puting them in the oven and baking for 10 to 15 minutes on 180 deg C

Finished Breakfast Cups ready to eat!

Breakfast Cups - great for lunch boxes too.

 

Red Hot Chili Peppers

For those of you who don't follow me on Twitter or Instagram, I got my Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets today!  2 hours in the queue and my BOT (Boerewors on Tap, aka hubby) got the tickets online.  I was crapping my knickers that I wasn't going to get tickets in time as the Golden Tickets were sold out within 2½ minutes and the general standing tickets in just over 20 minutes.

I am so fucking happy I think I actually did shite a rainbow, Plonkers

Oh I know the show is only in February 2013 and I know I'm right at the back but I'm on the fucking bus.  I'm going to be there like a bear in my underwear.  WhoooooofuckinHoooo.

Can you tell I'm soopa stoked?

Calligraphuck Needs your Fucking Dollars

Go buy a T-shirt or some cards!

Over the last few months, Linus has taken things as far as he can on my own. He's made several card designs, made several prototypes with a hobby kit. However, his skills as a printer leave much to be desired, which is why he has partnered up with the Hungry Workshop, a fantastic independent letterpress studio in Melbourne. Now he need OUR help to share them with the world.

He is looking to raise $5,000. This will cover:

• Letterpress printing of 4 card designs, each in metallic silver on beautiful, thick card stock. Blank on the inside for your personal message.
• Manufacturing bespoke string and button envelopes
• Producing extra rewards for Indiegogo such as stickers and shirts
• Shipping and handling for funding rewards

If he reaches $10,000 he will print 2 sets of 4 designs (8 designs in total), and you will be able to pick which set you would like (or get both!)

Get the word out

If you want to get some bonus rewards added to your reward pack, or even if you can't afford to help fund the project, you can still help us out. There will even be some prizes up for grabs soon.

• Twitter: Send out a tweet to let your friends know about Calligraphuck or follow the project at @calligraphuck.
• Facebook: Like the Calligraphuck facebook page and or post about Calligraphuck and shock and delight your relatives.
• Instagram: It's not just for pictures of your cat and your breakfast anymore! Follow Calligraphuck on Instagram and repost to your followers.
• Tumblr: You know what to do. You look like you know your way around a fucking reblog. Follow us too.
• Pinterest: Share our posts on Pinterest and freak out those uptight bitches from the young mother's book club.

Caption My Photo Competition #65

 

Happy Tuesday, Plonkers!

 

Your hilarious and unique caption to my bizarre image, will win one of my brilliantly popular Daft Scots Lass temporary tattoos.  (Wish I could get a sponsor for this feature)

 

Make me, and everyone else laugh..

 

 

Monday Music Moves Me

 

This week's Monday Music Moves Me theme is School Days over at Xmas Dolly.  Go Link up, lovely Plonkity Plonkers.

But first I want to introduce a South African band that has their Debut albulm coming out towards the end of the year.

Here are a few songs that I used to listen to constantly when I was a senior in high school.  I matriculated in 1989 and there are so many brilliant songs to choose from. 

That year rocked it in music. Enjoy!.












Remember to also go and watch my Fifty Shades of Fucked Up Vlog

Fifty Shades of Fucked Up

My Weekend Vlog Update.

Remember to visit tomorow for Monday Music Moves Me.  The theme this week is "School Days".  Music from the year you left high school

Thats 1989 for me.



.

And The Winner Is...

 

And this week's Winner is Kim Ayres  

 

"I think I might have finally found a problem that won't be fixed by Duct Tape OR WD40!"

 

Fuck You Friday and a Shoegasm

Thank God it's Friday.  This week I'm going back to an old feature which gets things off my chest.  So, with no future ado, here are this week's Fuck Yous.

 

• Fuck you to all those parents who grumble about being a mum.  My life is so fucking hectic but I love being a wife to my wonderful Boerewors and mum to my two wonderfully different wee lassies.   All three of them bring me so much joy.
• Fuck you to the Doochenozzle who tried to sneak in a computer virus through my email.  Have you Fuckers got nothing better to do?  Who sits behind their computer all day designing viruses to piss on everyone’s battery?
• Fuck you to my winter fingers that split and cause me much pain.  My hands and feet throb at night because of fucking winter.  I hate you winter, son-of-a-bitch!

and now on to the pretty things that are incredibly dear to my heart.  Either link up and share your gorgeous heels, or just enjoy drooling over mine.



Christian Louboutins

Tabitha Simmonds

Adorable

Jessica Simpson

Apart from Prince Harry getting naked in Vegas recently, what have you been up to this week?

Flock Off!

Do yerself a favour and go a watch a couple of episodes of Shaun The Sheep. 

Its so damn fucking cute and quite funny.

A premise of the series is that Shaun the sheep exhibits human intelligence, creativity, and behaviour in a farm setting, which usually provides a situational comedy conflict which Shaun must resolve before the end of each episode. 

Recurring themes include the characters evading the sheepdog Bitzer (though he is sometimes with the sheep in their escapades) and avoiding discovery by "The Farmer" who listens to techno-dance music in his van.

Episodes are very much a combination of slapstick and classic silent comedy in Aardman’s recognizable animation style. There is no spoken dialogue, even by human characters. In this way it is reminiscent of silent comedy films and even Pingu and the animated version of Mr. Bean. However, simple grunts, bleats, and sighs are all used to add subtle expression to each character's moods and feelings.

Brilliant!  I'm lovin it.

What kind of Gamer are you?

A gamer in Taiwan passed away at an Internet cafe last week, and no one noticed for a full 9 hours. Check out the story HERE. Another dies from playing Diablo III for 40 hours straight!  Fuck me Dead, thats obesession, Plonkers

I'm not saying video games are like shooting heroin into your forearm. I totally get that the victims had other shite going on in their lives. But, half of you reading this know a World of Warcraft addict and experts say video game addiction is a thing. So here's the big question: Are some games intentionally designed to keep you compulsively playing, even when you're not enjoying it?


Oh, hell yes. And their methods are downright fuckin sneaky.  Remember Skinner and his rats?

Imagine a rat in a cage. This is a special cage that has a bar or pedal on one wall that, when pressed, causes a little mechanism to release a food pellet into the cage. The rat is bouncing around the cage, doing whatever it is rats do, when he accidentally presses the bar and hey, fucking presto!  a food pellet falls into the cage!

The operant is the behavior just prior to the reinforcer, which is the food pellet, of course.  In no time at all, the rat is furiously peddling away at the bar, hoarding his pile of pellets in the corner of the cage.


Sound familiar gamers?  Many of your games have "levers" you need to pull or press to get your reward.  Many of the games involve collecting things and needing some sort sustinance.  Many of the games keep you coming back to press that lever.

A behavior followed by a reinforcing stimulus results in an increased probability of that behavior occurring in the future.

 

The danger lies in the fact that these games have become so incredibly efficient at delivering the sense of accomplishment that people used to get from their education, partner or career. We're not saying gaming will ruin the world, or that gaming addiction will be a scourge on youth the way crack ruined the inner cities in the 90s. But we may wind up with a generation of Plonkers working at the local supermarket when they had the brains and talent for so much more. They're dissatisfied with their lives because they wasted their 20s playing video games, and will escape their dissatisfaction by playing more video games. Rinse, repeat.


Do you think video game addiction is a serious problem to the point of being life threatening?

My Trip to Palm Beach

My trip to my mum was brilliant!  Although I missed my Boerewors and my girls, I got to spend quality alone time with my mum and dad.  We had some good chats, we shared meals, went shopping and had plenty of laughs.

It was bitter-sweet to come home but all in all a great trip.

Ready to Fly!

 

From the SAA Flight

Being Silly

Mum

Bridge

Palm Beach

Ramsgate Beach and Tidal Pool

Relaxing watching Sky News

View from my folks place

Mum and I went shopping

Vinyl records at Tinker's Den - an antique store



On the way home

Bridge view

Palm Beach

Palm Beach Deck

A Daft Scots Lass on Palm Beach

A Daft Scots Lass and her mummy

Mum and Dad

My mum and dad

Gorgeous Mum