Wednesday, 17 April 2013

O is for Oxter


Pronounced : oak-stir

Definition : The oxter is the pairt o the human body richt unner the jient where the airm jiens the shouder.  In other words, your armpit.

Usage : Feminist were totally psyched that I had oxster hair.

Translation : She's so hairy – when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.

Origin : Old English ōxta, related to eax ("axis, axle") and eaxl ("shoulder").

Orkney also known as the Orkney Islands, is an archipelago in northern Scotland, 16 kilometres north of the coast of Caithness. Orkney comprises approximately 70 islands of which 20 are inhabited.  Stunning and the history of the place is that the name "Orkney" dates back to the 1st century BC or earlier, and the islands have been inhabited for at least 8,500 years. Originally occupied by Mesolithic and Neolithic tribes and then by the Picts, Orkney was invaded and forcibly annexed by Norway in 875 and settled by the Norse. It was subsequently annexed to the Scottish Crown in 1472, following the failed payment of a dowry for James III's bride, Margaret of Denmark.

This Plonker is truly the Best Oxster Farter, and the guy with the hockey mask just fuckin creeps me out, but yet I can't stop cackling like an old whore.


Paula said...

LOL! There are words for everything aren't there!

Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous said...

I've always been curious about the Orkney Islands ever since they were mentioned in an old kids book called Playing Beatie Bow. It was about a family living in Sydney in the 1870's and they'd come from there.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

The Orkney Islands are impressive!
And your translation gave me a chuckle.

The Glebe Blog said...

In certain parts of Scotland there's a sexual practice called the Oxter Shuffle. If the lady is indisposed because of the time of the month, the gentleman might suggest "Gonnae gies a shuffle hen". The gentleman then inserts his member under the lady's armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards. At the appropriate moment the gentleman shouts "Deal, deal" whereupon the lady then deals out the cards face up on the table. If the gentleman scores an ace he's rewarded with a mouthwash.
Disposable playing cards are preferred to play the game.

Elise Fallson said...

Orkney Islands look so beautiful. And much to my disappointment, I've never been able to make fart sounds with my armpit . . . I mean oxter. :)

Mary Kirkland said...

What is it with men/boys and farty noises. It just never gets old to them. lol

Dark Thoughts Blog

BamaTrav said...

Why does that fact that you like toilet humor turn me on?

Mina Burrows said...

Oxter Farter? I've seen it all. LOL!

YeamieWaffles said...

Hahaha Lass my Aunt Agnes always told me to wash under my oxters when I was younger, brings back memories of childhood bathing haha!

writebackwards said...

What a beaut! I love "slang" or "dialect". So many words for so many different things, all within the same language!

When I lived in England, I *just* missed the trip to the Orkney Islands. I never went. I am sad. The furthest north I made it was Derby. Maybe one day I can come back and go where I've not been before. :)

Jamie Dement (LadyJai)

A Daft Scots Lass said...

@Paula I really love and appreciate that you visit everyday, Paula.

@writebackwards what a pity you didn't get to go to Orkeny. Give me a call when you're going and count me in.

@Kellie with have to check it out. Thanx for the shoutout.

@Ninjalex you're the bomb. Glad I can make you smile.

@Jim och, Jim trust you to bring up the ol' Oxter Shuffle. You speaking from experience?

@Elise I can't Oxter fart either, but I make up for it by the real deal. My girls do the best oxter farts (they must get that from their dad)

@Mary It never gets old for me either and I'm certainly not a boy (when I last checked)

@Bama well I don't know about that but I thought everyone loved toilet humour (even if sometimes its secretly)

@Mina yeah! LOL

@Matthew just the fact that you have an Aunty Agnes makes me love you even more.

kmckendry said...

I love that word! So funny.

Powdered Toast Man said...

I am going to use that word at work today. Let's see who looks at me funny.

Rick Daley said...

Awesome! The video armpit farting goodness is like icing on the cake, except it's not something you would ever want to put in your mouth. Or at least, I wouldn't.

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

So... oxter is organic Flarp?

Thanks for the visits today

David List said...

I'm glad I found this site! Loving the terms

DiscConnected said...

I saw you mentioned on Alex's blog and had to check it out...funny stuff!

David Macaulay said...

God the guy with the mask is really scary - do people in the Orkneys have hairy armpits or is it just the Old Man of Hoy?

A Daft Scots Lass said...

@kmckendry me too.

@PowdersToastman and? how did it go?

@Rick @David you and me both, dude.

@Ivan see? someone gets it.

@Disconnected thanx for the visit. Love The Ninjalex

@DavidMacaulay yeah he's pretty fekkin creepy.

Masked Mom said...

That video is the most hilariously disturbing thing I've seen IN MY LIFE. And believe me, my life has been a practically uninterrupted string of disturbing hilarity.


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