The Frustration Aggression Hypothesis

When I’m frustrated, I get forceful and assertive, then I say things I regret and I’m riddled with guilt and I cry.

It’s frustrating when you live so far from your family. You feel helpless when something goes wrong or there is a crisis and you can’t be there.

My parents live 700km away, by choice, and recently both my parents have been very ill. My mum has acute osteoporosis and has had back surgery as well as emphysema. My dad has recently been diagnosed with emphysema and possible liver disease. They are still awaiting the final blood tests.

I know they shield me from a lot of their illness details and they can do so because I’m so far away. When I phone, they constantly say “I’m fine. Don’t worry” but I get frustrated and I do worry.   They're isolated and only have each other to rely on.

 They also don’t seem to question their doctors or their medical aid about what they’re entitled to or what their real benefits are. I only want the best care for them and I feel they’re not getting it.

I wish I could be there for them in some way. My hands feel totally tied. Not only do my parents have their ill-health to worry about, but their pride gets the best of them. They won’t ask for help, they will never ask for assistance, be it money or an extra person to be there when they can’t care for one another.

Just feeling discouraged and frustrated and wanted to share....

“To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.”

Whack-a-Doodle Internet

Righty-ho so....lately my internet connection has reeked like shizzle so I've had to watch my legs hairs grow while I wait for your bloggy pages to load and thus I have not done as much bloggy reading as I normally do [insert scores of  requests for forgiveness here].

Sorry everyone, and I do mean everyone, for not being as dedicated-a-comentator as I normally am. I know that all you hold your breath with anticipation when reading my twaddle in your comments section. 

Anyhoo, I'm pissy as all hell and hopefully soon those imprudent thickos at Telkom get their scrawny arses into gear and fix my damn sloth-of-a-internet connection..

Did you hear me? 

Well? 

Did you?

Just fix it demmit!

Is it fixed yet?  I need to harvest ma crops.

3 Days to Go

So... we have 3 more days at home before Megan and Kaylin head back to pre-school and I go back to work. I've enjoyed the time at home but I'm ready to go back to work.

I've come to the conclusion AGAIN this year that I could NEVER be a SAHM (Stay At Home Mum). I would drive myself to drink and drugs and possibly murder both of my children .

I need a break from them.

Its been 24/7 since 12 December (thats 3½ weeks) and they are so bored and fed up with me and each other. They constantly bicker with each other and it drives me insane!!!

They were both asking to go back to school last week already. I only wish school was open otherwise I would've endulged them and perhaps I could've had a week at home in peace and quiet, instead of doing washing, dishes, clearing up toys, wiping noses and bums, stopping them from tearing each others' eyes out and wrecking my place I call home.

Oh! and on top of all that, my domestic worker has been away since then too so I have had to do all of this on my own...hey! don't say I'm spoiled. I'm used to my dear Pinkie. Come home Pinkie - All's forgiven.

I'll give you anything you want right now. You can even take my kids home for a few weeks....*evil chuckle*

Rough Stuff

So today was a test of my patience - or rather impatience.

I took the girls to The Glen to return some stuff I'd bought from Woolies the other day that wasn't quite suitable. I packed a bag for them with snacks, drinks and things to do so they wouldn't get too bored.

You'll be proud that I was still semi-patient by the third interruption of my shopping because KK need to go "wee-wee". Yes, the third trip in half an hour. My thoughts were : aw well she's little and she's drank too much this morning already (bearing in mind it is scorching HOT here at the moment).

I started loosing it when she bit her sister on her arm so I immediately paid for my parking and we left to come home. I hate sibblings fighting and bickering.

When I got home, it was my turn to dash for the bathroom. While I was in the bathroom, KK thought it was a good idea to get into her shoe drawer and empty an entire bottle of J & J's moisturing foaming bath oil into every pair of her shoes!!!

As I was cleaning up from that fiasco, KK got hold of another bottle of shampoo from Megan's cupboard and rubbed the entire bottle into the carpet in her room. I saw BLACK - not even red. I gave her a smack and put her in the bathroom, figuring that she surely couldn't get up to any mischief in there?!

I was wrong!

While I was cleaning the carpet in her room, she unraveled most of the toilet roll and dipped little handfuls into the toilet and proceded to "clean" the floor with her little balls of toilet paper. If that wasn't enough....

(I know - now you're starting to NOT believe me right??) Wrong! Its all the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me!!!

...she had made a poo in her potty and decided to "clean" the floor with her sloppy poo.

Oh Brother! or should I say Oh Monster?!?!?!?

I can't stand it anymore. KK just doesn't listen...you can warm, you can smack, you can put her in time out, you can try to ignore...disciplining her is a MISSION of note. I know not where to turn...

I needed a cigarette after all that ...so I went outside on to the stoep (closing all the doors that she could possibly go in and create another commotion)...

The dreaded noise....SILENCE!!!

I knew she was up to something. She had managed to get the top off her sippy cup and was pouring the contents onto the coffee table all over her brand new cardboard puzzle.

I kid you not!

What do I do with this child?

I have a few ideas that pop into mind but I don't think I'd be very popular with child services.

Having an almost 3 year old is FRUSTRATING to say the least and to add a little spice to that, a 3 year old who does not show the slightest remorse or learning from her punishments....

I'm convinced her ears fell off somewhere along the line and she's making fun of me in her dreams while she's napping right now. That little smirk just tells all...