The Things Aspergers Kiddlettes Do...

Piles of things with no shirt because it "itches"

Yesterday when I arrived to collect KK from school, she was sitting in the middle of the rugby field outside trying to get her "closed shoes" on.  (that's what she calls them)  See picture on the left.


She was in tears and kept screaming "My Shoes are Broken!" but they were not.  Of course they weren't.  She was just struggling to get them on.  I don't buy her shoes with laces anymore (its just too frustrating for her and causes meltdowns).  

So, I buy her the shoes with either velcro or that are elasticated so she can get them on and off easily (or so I thought).


Back to my story...


KK's sitting there, alone, sobbing with one shoe in her hand, her face soaked with tears, her skin red from rubbing the tears away, her eyes starting to get all puffy and her hair full of dry grass because she'd flung herself backwards lying on the grass with frustration.


I went up to her, sat down next to her on the grass and with a sigh of relief from KK that mummy had arrived, and a high-pitched full-volume screech to announce: "I can't get my shoe on".  I held her tight, let her have her wee cry, calmed her down, helped her put her shoe on.  


A little boy came up to us while I was putting her shoe back on and asked me "Why is Kaylin crying to loud?".  I told him that she couldn't get her shoe on without help.... and then it happened!  Kaylin spotted this child's dirty, muddy toes!  

She freaked the fuck out!!


I mean she literally behaved liked she'd seen something from Exorcist - horrific that terrified her!  Her eyes bulged, her mouth formed a perfect O and from her seated position on the grass, she crab-walked actually crab-ran backwards at top speed before falling on to her back again.  She started screeching "I don't like dirty feet!  I - HATE - HIS - DIRTY - TOES!".


Well, all I could do was hold her again, tight,  while she sobbed and trembled, more tears, more snot, more fret but eventually recovered from the horror of the boys dirty feet being remotely near her!

Oh the horror!


It took me half an hour to get her calmed down and walk herself to the car.


Other things she does:

 

Rows of things

Closes her ears with loud or irritating sounds

But talks at full volume most of the time.

Overwhelming emotions

Listening to her own voice and repetitive words through filtered ears

and yet thinks she's an angel princess

Anything to do with water calms her down and enthralls her for hours!

Has an amazing bond and love for animals

A unique wee person who keeps me on my toes, gives me grey hair and nightmares

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Kaylin's Tantrums and Troubles

Kaylin is giving me serious gray hair before my time! I'm frustrated and at my wits end with her. I've actually been surfing the net for play therapist so that I can sort it out as I'm not doing the right things anymore. I'm not coping with parenting her. KK's frustrated with me and I in turn feel she's always defiant, stubborn and she always wants things her way or no way. Perhaps we are too much alike...

The above pictures is just a minor whining session which eventually leads into tantrums where she stamps her feet and shakes her head while screaming at me and squeezing her little fists in total anger and frustration. I can't seem to control her. She doesn't respond to any discipline techniques I've tried with her. If I put her in time out she screams not stop for what seems like forever, if I put her in her room she tears the place apart and kicks down the door, if I smack her she cries as if I've broken her. *sigh*

Terrible twos? For me its the terrible threes.

I know that I have myself to blame for some of it because she was a very sick as an infant until she was about 2 years old. She was also very little and fragile and I guess I babied her for longer than I had to because she was always so sickly and miserable. KK's also always been slow in her development; She only got her first tooth at year old, she only crawled when she was about 10 months, walked when she was almost 14 months, she didn't talk for ages and I was worried about that.

I started her on speech therapy when she was about two and the Speech Therapist started to teach her sign language so she used to sign instead of speak in order for us to get some communication going. But I felt that was regressing her as she wasn't speak much at all, so I never went back. I was hoping that things would sort themselves out and that she just took longer to learn something than Megan. She only started talking sense at about 2½. She still has poor speech for her 3 years of age and if I compare her to Megan, she is speaking like Megan spoke when she was about 20 months.

I know I should not compare the sisters but its hard to measure or gage in any other way. I only know Megan and how I brought her up and that I haven't done too much different.

I tried to treat them the same but KK always seemed to get more attention and needed me more because she was in and out of the hospital, always ill, puking, at the doctor, on medication, needing comfort.

I am now suffering because I have indulged her and now she wants things her way all the time. Is she just a Spirited Child or have I got a real problem on my hands? I feel incredibly guilty for all my mistakes and I can't seem to make it right now. I've lost all direction with her and the things that I am doing are not working anymore. I smack her far too much and I feel guilty about that. I don't want her to fear me - I want to do things right and reason with her but she's such a strong little personality and knows exactly how to wind me up.

I've found a psychologist in Glenvista who is willing to see us and help us both.

My patience with her is very thin and she knows my buttons to push...

Any advice is welcome!!!

This mum has a knot in her stomach about this one.