10 Christmas Holiday Survival Tips

Get a handle on your health these holidays with our top ten festive season survival tips for managing your diet, sleep, fitness and more...

There’s no escaping this time of the year. As the festive party season begins, all those late nights, hangovers and mince pies will start leaving you feeling anything but merry. Avoid the festive free-fall by following these festive season survival tips. 

Eat before you party

More debauched parties means more early morning fast food for most of us.

Voice of Reason: Eat a balanced meal before you head out – not only will it stop you from eating greasy fried food later, but it will also stop you from overeating at parties.

Comment:  *cough* Bullshite *cough* 

Manage your indigestion

Rich foods, eating on the go and festive stress can all be overwhelming for your delicate digestive system and mean you pile on the calories and get fat too.

Voice of Reason: Try to avoid too many turkey dinners with all the trimmings, rich puddings and mince pies  Stick to protein-rich snacks like peanuts, rather than bread-based ones, to prevent feeling bloated. Take your time over meals and chew each mouthful properly to combat indigestion.

Comments:  Are you fucking shittin me?

Drink carefully

We don't plan to get completely legless and do a pole dance the work Christmas party but its a fact that we consume more alcohol over the festive season. This not only affects your weight, it also has a major impact on the way you look and feel. Hangovers aren't pretty and they are definitely NOT for sissies.

Voice of Reason:  Abstaining completely and completely unrealistic, however, you should limit your intake. Have a glass of water between each alcoholic drink, add soda water to a small glass of wine to make a longer-lasting spritzer and avoid sugar-laden cocktails or mixed drinks. Remember to call a taxi if you’ve had too much or nominate a driver amongst friends.

Comment:  Water?  Spritzer? WTF??

Rehydrate before bed

Drinking a few glasses of water before bedtime will not only reduce your hangover, but will also prevent your skin from drying out and looking like wrinkled prune.

Voice of Reason: Coconut water is an excellent alternative as it replenishes lost fluids and helps boost your immune system. A sports drink, although high in calories, also rehydrates and replaces the minerals that alcohol removes from your body.

Comment:  Need to pee?

Remove your makeup

You come out of that dark party hall looking like a battered panda cross racoon.  Don’t punish your skin further by neglecting to take your makeup off at the end of a big night out.

Voice of Reason : It may feel like an effort (especially after three bottles of wine), but this will allow your skin to breathe and regenerate while you get your beauty sleep. Use face wipes for quick removal and when all your makeup is off, apply a nourishing moisturiser to avoid a party-parched complexion.

If you wear contact lenses, don’t forget to take them out too of they will stick to your eyeballs like shit to the carpet.

Comment:  Where's the washcloth?!

Get as much sleep as you can

Party season means your sleep patterns are bound to be unsettled. Sleep deprivation has a knock-on effect on your looks, attention levels, decision-making ability and mood. In other words by the time 2 January rolls around you look 20 years older and have developed a twitch.

Voice of Reason: To ensure you get a good night’s sleep, avoid drinking alcohol three hours before going to bed. If possible, stay away from caffeine too for six hours before sleeping.

Comment:  Avoid caffeine?  Thats the only thing that keeps me alive! 

 

De-puff your eyes

Late nights and overdoing it take their toll on your windows to the soul.

Voice of Reason:  Apply a cold, moist tea bag under each eye for 10 minutes in the morning – the tannin in the tea reduces puffiness and is a cheap way to stop bags under your eyes. Avoid rubbing your eyes when you wake up as this only makes the bags worse.

Comment:  Avoid waking up.

Don’t neglect your feet

Dancing all night in those oh-so-pretty 5½ inch stilettos may buy you confidence, but your feet will feel it the next morning.

Voice of Reason:  Try not to wear killer high heels every night – and if you absolutely have to, invest in some gel cushions for those throbbing bunions. Show your feet some love by applying a good moisturiser to prevent blisters.

Comments:  How can I neglect my hooker heels during party season?

Work in workouts

Make sure you fit your workouts into your week – I hear you groaning.  

Voice of Reason:  Take the stairs instead of the lift, walk up the escalator and park further away from stores. Any exercise will help reduce your stress levels and balance out those extra snacks.

Comments:  This proves far too difficult.

Beware of the sun

You know the drill. If you live in the southern hemisphere like wee moi, you need to wear sunscreen every day.

Voice of Reason:  Not only will this be preventing skin cancer, but you will also avoid skin damage like sunburn, wrinkles and fine lines. Use a moisturiser with an SPF to save you time but reapply if you spend most of your day outdoors.

Comments:  Just do it!

Now that you're fully prepared for the festivities, go have FUN!

Sam's Birthday Party. No. Correction, Alcohol Chug Fest!

Firstly, I reveal some of the acceptable images of Sam's Birthday Party....

Mel and Cheyna, Daft Mandy in the back

The chocolate cake shooters. They really did taste like chocolate cake. 

Besties

Mel and Sam (the birthday girl)

Posers!

The Girls

Great fun but the next day?

I was regurgitating whiskey through my nose!  I thought my stomach was churning liquored butter!  I couldn’t pick my head up without feeling like it was going disengage from my staggering body.  Even my fucking eyeballs ached.  The kids wanted me out of bed at 6:30am but didn’t they know I only got home at 2am?  I think I was still half pissed when I got up.

Jaysus, I wondered how I was going to get through the day. 

On top of that we had a family lunch at a semi-posh restaurant to go to.  I didn’t know how I was going to make it!  Especially as my gut was doing an impersonation of an alcoholic tumbleweed.   I could hardly walk, let alone make polite conversation and pretend to be human.  Cool water on my face was my best friend after hanging over the porcelain.  Everything I was ingesting was revisiting my mouth 10 minutes later.  Urgh!  

I spent the morning retching up most of the alcohol in my system. Then the dry heaves set in.  My belly lurches were causing an intestinal inferno.  I tried to take wee nibbles of dry bread to settle my stomach so I could make it to lunch. 

I finally made it to the restaurant for lunch and I also managed to eat something and digest it!  My Cajun calamari would have tasted so much better without the peppering of puke.

Never again!

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