Its 4:21am and all is not well...

For the last few days I have been waking every morning at 4:21am (well, thats what our clock radio in the bedroom says anyway).

I find it very eerie how my body knows to wake at the exact same time (to the minute) every morning?!  That to me in itself is just plain weird.  Your internal body clock never seems to speed up or slow down.  To me thats amazing..

And....just before I wake, I'm in the midst of a very vivid, very violent nightmare.  I've been suffering these nightmares and recurring nightmares for 2 weeks now.  I'm usually stuck somewhere that I can't get out of and I have to physically maim myself to get out.  I feel the pain, I see the blood, I experience the trauma.  Its awful.

My other nightmare is that I am being chased and eventually murdered.  I know it sounds terribly brutal and, to tell you the truth, I don't know where they come from.  I feel the anxiety of being chased, I feel the fatigue and intense fear.  I feel the knife slicing my throat and the warm blood running down my neck or I feel the gun exploding against my head.  I see myself lying there - dead - pale and grey.  Its so shocking and distressing to see my lifeless body there and when the police and coroner arrive I watch them pack up my body in a black body bag, tag me and zip me up.  I try to scream and tell them that I am watching - but I can't scream - I open my mouth and no sound comes out, which is incredibly frustrating and scary.

I've spoken about my epic and vivid dreams before on the Blog and that I usually look forward to my evening adventures but these nightmares are something I obviously don't look forward to.  They do not leave any intense lingering feelings behind (like my other positive dreams do) but it all the images come rushing back to me in those few seconds before you drift off to sleep again.  Those few seconds do not give me enough time to have a chat with myself to say: "Don't go back there" or "Stay Awake Dafty!".

Before I know it, I'm stuck in another nightmare and bam! its 4:21am and I can't get back to sleep...

Bring back the good dreams.  Bring on Brad Pitt and drag car racing.  Bring back movie sets and eating chocolate, floating on giant marshmallows and skipping through daisy-carpeted meadows...

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

We've had heavy thunderstorms every day for weeks now and I'm getting so sick of it.

Our lapa is flooded again and I even had nightmares last night about our house filling up with water and me running around like a chicken without a head trying to save my children and my things! 

Our garden is also flooded and its just mud everywhere!  Its hard not to get depressed about it.  We have installed a pump to remove all the water but we literally have to switch it on every hour to pump (which we can't do at night) so by the morning we are flooded again.  We are in the process of trying to install a timer that kicks on when the water level gets too high.

I know I should be grateful for all the good things in my life so I'm going to stop griping now.  I'm going to be positive and happy.

On a different note.....

Kaylin was pretending to be Superman last night and did a quick spin around with arms outstretched, lost her balance and whacked her nose on the side of her plastic chair.  Blood everywhere!  She has now realised that she is, in fact, not Superman!  Tough lesson learned...we have packed the cape and mask away.

Megans Nightmares and Night Fears

A lot has happened in Megan's life over the last couple of weeks...

1. Her favourite teacher of all time left the school for good, she now has a new teacher
2. Her best friend whom she has been at school with since they were 7 months old, left to go overseas on Thursday with his family,
3. The upheaval at home with all the renovations and having to live in one or two rooms basically and
4. there has been some tension at home last week which she has picked up on.

Anyway all this seems to be affecting her not on the outside (although she is giving her new teacher a run for her money with serious attitude) but she's having nightmares and is very teary and sensitive to everything.

She cries a lot at night and has become quite cheeky and naughty. Megan's generally very well behaved and I just have to give her "the look" and she's back in line.

Lately she's been very difficult and ultra sensative. She's also having nightmares and the slightest little thing on TV makes her "scared" shes now become afraid of the dark and won't sleep without a hall light on. She more often and not these days, climbs into our bed during the night or in the early hours of the morning. Its distrupting to us too but I'm concerned mainly about her feeling "safe".

Do you think its something that will pass with time and some adjustment or do you think I should look more into it?