Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Its 4:21am and all is not well...

For the last few days I have been waking every morning at 4:21am (well, thats what our clock radio in the bedroom says anyway).

I find it very eerie how my body knows to wake at the exact same time (to the minute) every morning?!  That to me in itself is just plain weird.  Your internal body clock never seems to speed up or slow down.  To me thats amazing..

And....just before I wake, I'm in the midst of a very vivid, very violent nightmare.  I've been suffering these nightmares and recurring nightmares for 2 weeks now.  I'm usually stuck somewhere that I can't get out of and I have to physically maim myself to get out.  I feel the pain, I see the blood, I experience the trauma.  Its awful.

My other nightmare is that I am being chased and eventually murdered.  I know it sounds terribly brutal and, to tell you the truth, I don't know where they come from.  I feel the anxiety of being chased, I feel the fatigue and intense fear.  I feel the knife slicing my throat and the warm blood running down my neck or I feel the gun exploding against my head.  I see myself lying there - dead - pale and grey.  Its so shocking and distressing to see my lifeless body there and when the police and coroner arrive I watch them pack up my body in a black body bag, tag me and zip me up.  I try to scream and tell them that I am watching - but I can't scream - I open my mouth and no sound comes out, which is incredibly frustrating and scary.

I've spoken about my epic and vivid dreams before on the Blog and that I usually look forward to my evening adventures but these nightmares are something I obviously don't look forward to.  They do not leave any intense lingering feelings behind (like my other positive dreams do) but it all the images come rushing back to me in those few seconds before you drift off to sleep again.  Those few seconds do not give me enough time to have a chat with myself to say: "Don't go back there" or "Stay Awake Dafty!".

Before I know it, I'm stuck in another nightmare and bam! its 4:21am and I can't get back to sleep...

Bring back the good dreams.  Bring on Brad Pitt and drag car racing.  Bring back movie sets and eating chocolate, floating on giant marshmallows and skipping through daisy-carpeted meadows...

11 comments:

Library girl said...

It is definitely strange how you do wake up at the same time ... if only I could retrain my body for 7am instead of 3.30am, I would be sooo happy.
Your dreams sound scary!! Had a few violent ones lately ... but I was the one bashing the ex over the head with car keys (as ya do). I think I understand where mine are coming from though ...

Ami said...

Oh man. ((big hug))

I HATE nightmares.
I have a series of recurring dreams that are unsettling, but NOTHING like what you're experiencing.

I hope this stops soon.

AmyLK said...

Oh nightmares are horrid. And its very strange that your body wakes you up at exactly the same time every day. Mine does that sometimes too but then I have a glass of wine with dinner and that changes everything. Good luck with the nightmares.

kirstyb said...

i hate waking up at stupid times! annoys me and makes me feel like i need a day off xxxx

JessicaGiggles said...

Oh wow! They say that if you get killed in your dream it means new beginnings... Perhaps you've got a lot on your mind and this recurring nightmare is trying to help gauge a solution for you...

Mike Smith said...

Is someone blowing a vuvuzela outside your house at the same time every morning..?!

Kim Ayres said...

I knew someone who kept waking up at the same time. eventually he discovered that the guy next door always left for work really early and it was the slamming of the car door and the engine running that drew him back up to consciousness. He was never aware of the car directly, but by the time he looked at the clock it always said the same time.

perhaps a neighbour is doing something every morning just before 4.20am

A Daft Scots Lass said...

If someone is waking me up every morning, they're gonna get a Vuvuzela blown in their ear at 2am.

Put that in yer fekking pipe and smoke it, neighbour

Azzazin said...

Ooooh, that sounds very disturbing! I hope it stops really soon!

Most of the times I have nightmares, even tho' they're very bloody and very violent I'm well aware of the fact that I'm dreaming so it's like watching a slasher, but if they started feeling real... oh I'd prolly break down after just a couple of nights.

Tonight I hope you'll go drag-racing with Brad and then take off on a giant marshmalow to the set of his next movie and have chocolate and whatnot backstage. ;)

blueviolet said...

That's so crazy! I hope it ends soon and you get a nice Brad Pitt moment!

James Hessler (James James The Tartan Trickster) said...

Ive been away from the catalog, and am just back. Have you changed your layout...love your stuff though, especially the one about heels and size!!! Made me laugh. Seriously...very funny.
Keep on keeping on, and dont forget to love bono...

james
www.magicnews.tv

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