D, which just happens to be my bra size

My Mottos versus Insults today, presents the letter D, my bra size. 

My sweet Motto today is 

Dream

We all need to dream, we all need to have dreams otherwise what exactly is there to look forward to? 

I believe that nothing happens without first having a dream - If you dream it, you can achieve it, right?

If you read my blog regularly, you will know that I have many vivid dreams that include incredibly whacky adventures.  I've had a date with Elvis, been an Olympic Gold Medal Winner, a professional fencer, a contestant in a reality TV programme and I've met Lady Gaga.

My Insult word for today is

Douchenozzle

I think this is a adaptation of douche and then the notorious douchebag.  A Douchenozzle is someone who is more annoying than a just an ordinary dooche.  A doochenozzle penetrates even deeper and fouler than the arseholey douchebag. 

And, besdies, Douchenozzle sounds a gazzillion times better.

Conversations With Megan

Megan has just turned eight.  We had the following conversation last night.

Megan:  There's a boy teasing me in my class.  He's calling me "Sweetie Pie" but all sarcastic.


Me:  Do you know what sarcastic means?


Megan:  Yes!  Like when you say "Oh yeah you look great" when you know they don't.


Me :  Yeah, like that.

(Sarcasm is rife in our house - my kids had to learn to deal with it and understand it very early in life)

Me:  *Gives the usual confidence booster/bully speech* Don't let anyone get to you, Megan.  He's the silly little boy for calling you names.  Insult  him back!  Thinking of something to say to him that will make him think twice about coming back and annoying you.


Megan:  What do I say?


Me:  Tell him to talk to the hand, hold up your hand like this, give a bit of the old attitude, then call him a Silly Little Boy.  Boys your age detest to be called silly and little and boys. 


Megan:  Oh! *pondering*....Mum, do me a favour...


Me:  Sure, Megan...


Megan:  Lick my bum and tell me what flavour it is.  Next Please! *holding the palm on her hand up with ATTITUDE*


Me :  WHAT?!!


Megan very quickly:  Like that mum?


Me : *laughing my arse off*  Yeah just like that Megan.


With much disapproval from her Daddy...


Daddy:  You can't say that!


Me:  Why not?!  That little bugger is calling my baby ugly names!  He deserves some attitude and an insult or two.


Daddy:  What if there's a teacher nearby. Then you'll be punished.


Megan whispering to me :  I still think its funny *giggle*


So did I...

This is what The Boerewors suggested:

WHAT

EVER

LOSER