Marriage is NOT a word, its a sentence...

Jokes aside, Plonkers...

...I read this inspiring story on Jamerican Spice's blog and it got me pondering (yeah, this happens with me from time-to-time).  

"Do you love your partner more than you love your children"?

This statement always makes me think of the debate my BFF and I have over this subject.  She says her kids will always come first and I say my husband always come first. 

We argue our various opinions back and forth and we will never alter our points-of-view.  A bit of background about our friendship:

We've been best friends for 13 years and that just happens to only be one year more than I've been married.  So, my BFF has known me before marriage, she was at my wedding, she knew me before kids, she was there when Megan was born and my children call her "Aunty Mandy".  Mandy was even there during my early stages of labour with my second born and looked after my first born, Megan while I went to the hospital to birth Kaylin.  Mandy is our primary babysitter and she refers to the girls are "our girls" when she speaks to me about them. 

This just goes to show you that you can have a close relationship with someone who doesn't share EVERY opinion you do.

Anyhoozer, back to my story about who comes first in your family. 

Some may be surprised to know that I put my marriage first.

I believe that R and I chose each other before we decided together to have children. 

I believe that marriage is the foundation for a family.


Oh, I know that these two are two COMPLETELY different types of love and you really can't compare them.  My love for my girls is totally unconditional.  It is a no-matter-what-type of love that needs less work and comes more naturally to me. 

My love for my husband is priceless and romantic - those intimate little gestures and glances we share, when we don't have to use any words.  A single look can say a thousands words.  It's holding hands in the check out que and the physical attraction and passion.  It's also a friendship - someone who is there when times are at a high and at a low.  When we stand together we're an invincible team.

Power in a Family Bubble.
R is the leader in our family. That certainly doesn't mean I'm submissive and take his word as gospel. No frikken way!  I am a redheaded Scots Lass with a strong will and flappin lips.  I have my say, but we've learned to talk about things, we've learned to communicate with each other, we sometimes bicker and fight about stuff because our opinions on things are completely different. But we can come to decisions together or agree to disagree. Then the outcome is implemented by R.



I just know that if R and I are NOT on the same page, it affects our children.  We need to keep each other happy in order to be able to navigate positive and loving parenting. 

I think we're teaching our children that marriage is important, fun and solid.  And, if you work at building a strong and respectful partnership team, they are learning valuable lessons from us.

What are your views on puting your children before your partner?

Marriage Is Healthy



A Daft Scots Lass on her wedding day. 
Dress by Biji Couture



Married people, especially men, live longer, heal quicker, have less depression, vices and illness, earn more and are happier.

Is that because there is always a wee wife standing by in the appropriate sexy outfit?

Anyhoo, you’ve heard them all, I’m sure.  Jokes like 

“Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Master’s”

or 

“Marriage is something that puts one ring on a woman's finger and two under a man’s eyes.”

or my personal favourite

"Marriage is not a word its a sentence".  

There are a bazillion of them and they all play on the idea that the men who are foolish enough to wave goodbye to their carefree bachelor days and submit to "the old ball and chain" are getting a raw deal.

The jokes are pretty fucking funny, but the reality is quite different. In fact, both sexes benefit enormously from the institution of marriage but men benefit more.  Obviously!!

Both men and women gain significant health benefits from being married. They live longer, heal quicker, and have less illness.

Married people also tend to earn more money and to build more wealth than single people. 

Overall, however, men tend to benefit much more from matrimony than women do.

Let’s break it down, Dawg:

We’ve known about the longevity advantage since the 1850s, when a British epidemiologist (are you googling yet?) called William Farr examined French records and found that the single and the widowed died much younger than their married peers (and the widowed died younger than the single).

However, since then, more sophisticated research has shown that the longevity benefits of marriage are much greater for men. Studies show that single women have a mortality rate that is 50% higher than married women (that is, in a given year, single women will die at a 50% higher rate than married ones), which is pretty significant. Single men, however, have a mortality rate that is 250% higher than married men – a much greater difference.

Lets put another way, that ain't so fekking statistically loaded - Research indicates that nine of ten married men and women who are alive at age 48 are alive at age 65, while only eight of ten single women and six of ten single men make it to that age – a disproportionate benefit goes to married men.

Put THAT in yer pipe 'n smoke it, Plonkers!


Married men are half as likely to commit suicide as single men and one third as likely as divorced men.

Single men drink and smoke more than married men and married and single women and take more drugs.

Many studies have shown that married people report greater levels of happiness and satisfaction with their lives than single people do, but, you guessed it, men once again do better than women. 

Overall, then, men benefit much more than women from the trip down the aisle.

While both sexes enjoy significant benefits, the gap between single men and married men, in terms of health, wealth, and happiness, is much greater than the gap between single and married women. A large-scale, multinational study involving the World Health Organisation found that marriage reduces the risk of most mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, for both sexes.  This study echoes findings from many similar, but smaller studies over the years.

Yet again, however, men seem to get more of a benefit. Lucky, bastids!

In the words of Shakespeare’s Benedick

“Prince, thou art sad; get thee a wife, get thee a wife.”

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And that's when the fight started...

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery  plot as a Christmas gift...

 The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

 When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

 And that's when the fight started . . .


 I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

 It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

 So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

 And that's when the fight started . . .



 My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we  were in bed.

 I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

 'No,' she answered.

 I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

 She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

 So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

 And that's when the fight started . . .



 I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.  Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

 I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

 And that's when the fight started . . .


 I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first..

 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

 He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

 'Nah, she can order for herself.'

 And that's when the fight started . . .



 My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.

 She asked, 'What's on TV?'

 I said, 'Dust.'

 And that's when the fight started . . .


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

 She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'

 I bought her a scale.

 And that's when the fight started . . .


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

 I asked her, 'Do you know him?'

 'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...

I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years  ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since..'

 'My God!' I said, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

 And that's when the fight started . . .


 I rear-ended a car this morning.

 So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

 You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

 Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

 He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

 So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

 And that's when the fight started . . .



 THE BEST FOR LAST!

 When our lawn mower wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

 But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first,  the truck, the car, playing golf.

 Always something more important to me.

 Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

 When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

 I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

 I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

 I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'

 The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp...