A Very Odd Night

Yesterday morning my hubby and I put up the tent in the garden for the girls and they had a ball playing in it all day. My sister and Mick popped around for a visit yesterday morning on their way to the Coca Cola Zero Music Festival. Janie was so excited about seeing Oasys live.


After they left, other friends came over and we asked if they'd like to stay for an imprompto braai. We had a really relaxing evening around the braai and then played a wee bit of Guitar Hero. We all love the game! 

During the day Megan kept asking if we could sleep in the tent that night and after our friends left at about 10pm, I asked her if she still wanted to. Megan said yes and was very excited. We got our mattresses, sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, torches, camping lights all ready and off we went.


Megan and I chatted for a while in our beds and eventually Megan said "You can switch the light off now mummy". 

We did and went to sleep holding hands.


Later, I woke up after a really bad nightmare. At least I thought it was a nightmare. I dreamed about a middle-aged woman who was a ghost. She came to visit us in the tent and I got a VERY bad and negative feeling that she was incredibly irritated that we were there. 

At first I was not sure if she was irritated with just my presence, or both Megan and I. I asked her but she didn't reply. She just tried to shake me quite vigorously and when I did "wake up". I looked over at her face and I could see her as clear as day. 

I was fucking terrified!  I lay there frozen, frightened and totally freaked out!


Was it a dream? Or had this lady really come to visit us in the tent? 

That was the question I was left feeling. I shook my head and felt a little silly and went back to sleep.


It felt like only a few minutes later, when she returned to pull me by my arm to get me to leave. I remember thinking "wake up" this is VERY odd and scary. I "woke up" again.


This happened about 5 times. Each time she did something different but each time she tried to get the message across to get me to go inside.  It was the same feeling each time. The feeling that she was fucking pissed off by me being on "her turf" and that I should go back in the house.  She was quite angry and VERY adamant.


The last time she "came to visit", she actually sat on my chest trying to wake me up and pushed hard down on my chest. She even gave me her name; Joan or Jean...I could feel the pressure of her sitting on my chest. She then got so angry and and pissed off becuase I wasn't listening that she put her small hands around my throat to try to get me to vacate.


This freaked me out completely!!! I immediately woke Megan and we went inside.


I even woke my hubby up to tell him about my experience. He didn't reply much - it was the middle of the night...and he's so used to my daft epic dreams.


It took me ages to fall asleep again. I was petrified that if I went back to sleep I'd have the same dream or experience - whatever it was all over again. 

I wasn't happy about that so I lay awake for as long as I could tearing my heavy eye apart staring at the ceiling. I nodded off eventually and I didn't have any more dreams.


When I got up this morning, I still had this freaked-out feeling because I could differentiate whether it was a dream or if I really experience some sort of ghost visitor or apparition. 

Perhaps I just thought it was a dream to make sense of it all. Perhaps I'm just being silly and it was all a dream..


I have experienced a spirit in our house before but nothing quite as vivid or as physical as this. Nothing quite so angry, negative, irritated and intense. 

Her feelings were VERY clear to me. She wanted me to "know" her and remember her because she showed me her face and gave me her name. I knew exactly what she wanted me to do. I wasn't going to refuse.


I'm still puzzled by all of this...I know it all sounds odd but I thought that I needed to share this.

My Horrid Giving Birth Nightmare

I had a terrible nightmare last night that I was going through Kaylin's birth all over again. Feeling the pressure the pain and everything. When she was born the midwife said that there is a problem and she wont make it.


She was born without bones (no skeleton except her skull) But her skull had a big hole in it and her brain had started to swell and ooze out of the hole. Her eyes were bulging out of their sockets and they were black and she couldn't see. It was awful.


The nurses said she wouldn't live long and I sat there unable to hold her and the only thing I could do was watch her take her last breaths. The sorrow was overwhelming and so vivid. My heart was aching so badly for the loss.


The worst was having to answer Megan's questions about her sister that she didn't make it and that she couldn't see her as she'd died. It was the hardest thing to do. Also all my friends and family were waiting for the news and when i had to tell them that Kaylin didn't make it - my heart was broken all over again.


I was walking around the hospital corridors with this HEAVY heart and sobbing - it was so real and so emotional. When I woke up this morning that feeling was still there. It was unshakable.


I hate having such emotional and vivid nightmares. I'm confused - what does this mean? It is my subconsious fears, does it mean nothing, why would I continue to feel this way if its only a dream.