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Sunday, 6 April 2008
Babys in a Box
My girls just love to play in boxes...here they are inside the box of Megan's new army helicopter that she got from her Uncle André
Thursday, 3 April 2008
My Horrid Giving Birth Nightmare
I had a terrible nightmare last night that I was going through Kaylin's birth all over again. Feeling the pressure the pain and everything. When she was born the midwife said that there is a problem and she wont make it.
She was born without bones (no skeleton except her skull) But her skull had a big hole in it and her brain had started to swell and ooze out of the hole. Her eyes were bulging out of their sockets and they were black and she couldn't see. It was awful.
The nurses said she wouldn't live long and I sat there unable to hold her and the only thing I could do was watch her take her last breaths. The sorrow was overwhelming and so vivid. My heart was aching so badly for the loss.
The worst was having to answer Megan's questions about her sister that she didn't make it and that she couldn't see her as she'd died. It was the hardest thing to do. Also all my friends and family were waiting for the news and when i had to tell them that Kaylin didn't make it - my heart was broken all over again.
I was walking around the hospital corridors with this HEAVY heart and sobbing - it was so real and so emotional. When I woke up this morning that feeling was still there. It was unshakable.
I hate having such emotional and vivid nightmares. I'm confused - what does this mean? It is my subconsious fears, does it mean nothing, why would I continue to feel this way if its only a dream.
She was born without bones (no skeleton except her skull) But her skull had a big hole in it and her brain had started to swell and ooze out of the hole. Her eyes were bulging out of their sockets and they were black and she couldn't see. It was awful.
The nurses said she wouldn't live long and I sat there unable to hold her and the only thing I could do was watch her take her last breaths. The sorrow was overwhelming and so vivid. My heart was aching so badly for the loss.
The worst was having to answer Megan's questions about her sister that she didn't make it and that she couldn't see her as she'd died. It was the hardest thing to do. Also all my friends and family were waiting for the news and when i had to tell them that Kaylin didn't make it - my heart was broken all over again.
I was walking around the hospital corridors with this HEAVY heart and sobbing - it was so real and so emotional. When I woke up this morning that feeling was still there. It was unshakable.
I hate having such emotional and vivid nightmares. I'm confused - what does this mean? It is my subconsious fears, does it mean nothing, why would I continue to feel this way if its only a dream.
Tuesday, 1 April 2008
My Pre-Op Appointment with the Surgeon
My appointment was at 2:30 today and I was nervous but so excited at the same time. I took my afternoon off and got there early. Luckily he could take me early and we set a date for 16 April at 8am.
We're going for a full C (probably more like a D) and the only scarey thing sounds like the drains that will have to be in for two days and the first couple of days of recovery. I'm no sissy to pain (I've given birth twice for crying out loud). And the end result will be well worth it.
We've gone for 400cc silicone smooth round implants, partial unders (under the muscle) and the crease incision. It all sounds very technical but once the swelling goes down I'll have perfectly upright big boobs again.
I can't wait!
We're going for a full C (probably more like a D) and the only scarey thing sounds like the drains that will have to be in for two days and the first couple of days of recovery. I'm no sissy to pain (I've given birth twice for crying out loud). And the end result will be well worth it.
We've gone for 400cc silicone smooth round implants, partial unders (under the muscle) and the crease incision. It all sounds very technical but once the swelling goes down I'll have perfectly upright big boobs again.
I can't wait!
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