Monday, 31 August 2009

My Heart is Sore!


My mum left to go back to the south coast last night after spending two weeks with my sister and two weekends in a row with me. It was so wonderful to have her stay with us and be part of our wee family, even if it was only for a couple of days. She is brilliant with the children and she has a wisdom and calm about her that makes me feel safe and secure. She has endless patience and she is so easy to talk to. She has such inner strength and stays positive no matter what. I think her relationship with God has something to do with that.

I normally cry when my mum leaves to go home but it doesn’t last too long because I know I’ll see her again soon but last night I was really sobbing. Luckily my Boerewors was there to hold me tight while the tears trickled down my cheeks.

You would think that it would get easier to say goodbye after her being living down in the south coast for ten years but, it doesn’t. It gets harder and I think its getting harder because I see my mum is getting older and I realise she’s not going to be around forever. I guess I feel that I never know when I’m going to see her again and the fact that I can’t just “pop in” when I need her or miss her. I want to be there for HER. She’s been there for me no matter what and now that she’s getting older she can’t do everything she used to be able to – physically I mean. She has arthritis in her back and wrists and I can see its sore but she tries to hide it well and carry on regardless. I wish I could help her out and take care of her like she’s done for me all these years. My mum has had a rough life and been to hell and back moving her family to a new country, feeling alone in a new country and now alone in her marriage.

The longing feeling is still with me today even though I have called my mum on the phone to make sure she got home okay…I still feel empty and sad.

She's my best friend and the best and most special mum in the world!!!

I love you!

5 comments:

Sarah said...

:)

Don't be sad.

:)

JaneW said...

Oh Gill I can't even imagine that special bond with your mum, but she sounds wonderful and I am not surprised it is hard to say good bye to her.

Jeanette said...

(((HUGS))) Gillian, I would feel the same if (and when) my mom moves away

Tanya said...

Gillian I am crying as I type this treasure her Gill..treasure every moment, every phonecall - dont make excuses to not call. Call her every day to tell her you love her. I only wish I could have that chance!

Laura said...

Good byes suck! I always cry - with anyone!

((hugs))

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