Kilt Up, Sassanagh!

Today Alex Cavanaugh and Heather Gardner are hosting The Blood, Boobs and Carnage Blogfest. 

There are dozens of people signed up for this one and this time I'm #22 on the list.  I got in early this time.  This is one Blogfest I didn't want to miss.

After you've read and commented on my post, please go visit the other participants HERE

If you haven't heard about the epic TV Series, Outlander yet, then what bloody rock have you been hiding under?

This gorgeous and dramatic series has been adapted from Diana Gabaldon's book.

I'm totally addicted.  It has everything - drama, action, adventure, naked bodies, sex scenes, fantasy, oh yeah and boobs, blood and carnage.  Triple Whammy, Plonkers.

For those of you who have been living under That Rock, here is how the story line goes....

...after serving as a British Army nurse in World War 2, Claire Randall is enjoying a second honeymoon in Scotland with her husband Frank, an MI6 officer looking forward to a new career as an Oxford historian.

Suddenly, Claire is transported to 1743 where her freedom and life are threatened. To survive, she marries Jamie Fraser, a strapping saucy Scots warrior with a complicated past and a disarming sense of humor. 

A passionate relationship ensues, and Claire is caught between two vastly different men in two inharmonious lives. 

Fifty Shades of Gingerness ensues...

Outlander has won a People's Choice Award already for Season 1 and now, in Season 2, the story gets juicy and even more twisted.  Besides the costume porn, the scenery is incredibly lush.  The scenes are often graphically gruesome, but the passion and romance are tangible.  Sam Heughan is handsome and devilishly sexy...

The Blood

This was Jamie and Claire's Blood Vow at their wedding.  It was incredibly romantic and powerful at the same time. Jamie is so intense and dreamy...

“Because I wanted you." He turned to face me. "More than I ever wanted anything in my life," he added softly.

The Boobs 

There are lots of nakedness in Outlander. Lappings of Cleveage, bare bums and tons of naked flesh.

The wicked Jack Black and Jamie's wee Sister



The Steamy Wedding Night and the Jamie-Ass-Caress

The Busty Laoghaire makes her move on oor Jamie

The Carnage

Spankings, naked Pregnant bellies, whisky guzzling, swords piercing chests, brawling thugs, maimings, whippings, rape, witches, gory shootings....plenty of carnage.


 
 

Chesticles

What exactly is the male obsession with a part of the female anatomy that for many of us is no big deal: Breasts.

Picture the scene:


A male traffic cop pulls a woman over for speeding or driving with her Blackberry and mascara in hand. The first two buttons of her shirt are promptly undone as she nervously waits for the official who walks slowly towards her car. He leans forward towards the open window and BAM! She introduces him to the twins. 

Why? 

Well, because they’ve seldom let her down before.

They love our boobs so much they give them names.  Boobs are becoming less of a taboo subject than they were in the past and with that, neologisms and colloquial terms have been introduced, creating a seemingly endless list: bust, bosom, breasts, assets, lady lumps, boobs, girls, twins, tits, nanas.

Some fucking bright spark even insist that the names should be size-specific. How thoughtful of them. Melons, jugs, bee-stings, mosquito-bites, titties and (my personal favourite) chesticles.  I’m assuming that that’s simply a juxtaposition with the male version which also sags, is fragile and comes in twos.

Can you imagine its introduction to the English Oxford Dictionary?

“Chesticle (n.): either one of the soft, protruding glands on a woman’s chest which secrete milk after childbirth.”

Guys, what’s with the obsession with breasts? 

Some men revere the “girls” more than others.  Evolutionary biologists suggest that it’s all a matter of fertility and genetics. They claim that, when choosing a mate, our genes help us out a little. Men like parts like boobs and butts while we’re attracted to their arms, eyes, broad shoulders and legs.

Is there an ideal cup-size?

If we could conduct a study and get as many men to participate, what would the verdict be? While the C-cup seems to come out at the top as the most popular in previous studies, it’s safer to say that it’s all a matter of taste.  Either you're a boob-man or you're not.

Many men don’t even know how the concept of cup-sizes works. Some doochenozzles describes his idea of an ideal size as “a handful” while another Pnker insisted: “They should be in proportion to the rest of her body and somewhat noticeable.”

Is there such a thing as TOO big?

One of the guys responded with a: “NO! Are you out of your frikken mind?” I’d say he is a bit of a Boob-Man though. The average bloke insists that “jugs” can be oversized.

Medically, more is definitely less. Large breasts alone may not cause back aches but they are a considerable factor. Additionally, neck and shoulder pains may develop.

Psychologists suggest that a colossal bust may result in one being self-conscious and consequently, having a lower self-esteem.

Does breast size matter?

For a larger and full bust, breast augmentation is becoming increasingly popular. Claiming that they want their women “all natural,” men may not be keen on the idea of boob-jobs. But that too can be contested - I don’t see them complaining about the largely talented Pammy Anderson.

However, the most obvious boob insecurity is the fear of sagging. So we can’t defy gravity? That’s no big deal. It’s nothing a WonderBra bra can’t solve.We all want what we can't have, right?

Just like everything else about us, no pair is the same as the next. Our chests may give us comparative advantage over our male counterparts but they shouldn’t constitute some kind of “be all and end all” to your womanhood.

(and I just realised that I wrote about titties last week too).