Freaky Friday - Broken Penis

You Broke Your What?!  Your Penis?  Oh wait, you broke a Record?

With an estimated 120 million people fucking every day its no wonder some people don’t want vanilla sex only.  But you have to take things to a whole new level if you want to make it into the record books.  Some of these sex-related records are pretty mild, some are fucking strange and some and downright daft.  

Longest Kiss

The Winners: James Belshaw and Sophia Severin from the UK. The Record:  In 2005, Belshaw and Severin kissed nonstop for 31 hours, 30 minutes and 30 seconds at The Plaza Shopping Centre in London.  The couple weren’t allowed to fall asleep – or even sit.  They had to drink through a straw without stopping sucking face and even kept at it when going to the loo.  Who wants to take a duce while you're kissing?!  Pass.

Largest Natural Breasts

The Winner:  Annie Hawkins-Turner from the US (stage name Norma Stitz – a play on ‘normous tits’

The Record: She’s held the Guiness World Record for the biggest tits since 1999 – when each of them weighed 12.7kg and her bra size was 48V.  She cashed in by appearing in men’s magazines and making porn films.  Since then her jugs have increase in value – and in size : she’s put on weight and now wears a 72ZZZZ bra.

Biggest Penis

The winner: Jonah Cardeli Falcon from the US.

The Record:  Size does not matter when you have the largest penis in the world.  Falcon, 39, is a New Yorker with a 24.13cm penis – when its flaccid.  When he gets excited, it’s a scary 34.29cm. 


Falcon hasn’t had a relationship in 12 years.  Wonder why? #CockadoodledooMe.

Strongest Vagina

The Winner:  Tatiata Kozhevnikova from Russia.

The Record: Kozhevnikova can lift 14kg with her vagina (don’t fucking ask).  She’s been training her vaginal muscles for 15 years because she was convinced they were weak after she had a baby.  She recommends five minutes of Kegel exercises every day so you can enjoy sexual pleasure (and take up vaginal weightlifting)?

Longest  Time Spent Masturbating by a Woman

The Winner:  Kitty Kat from the US

The Record: Kitty Kat masturbated continuously for seven hours and six minutes at the 2008 San Francisco Masturbate-A-Thon.  The 28 year old erotic masseuse wore pink cat ears and masturbated with dildos, a vibrating five-fingered glove and a sex machine, and had an orgasm approximately once an hour.  Can you say Fanny Frayed?

Longest Time Spent Masturbating by a Man

The Winner: Masanobu Sato from Japan.

The Record: Sato became the masturbating champ of the world after he went at it continuously for nine hours and 58 minutes at the 2009 San Francisco Masturbate-A-Thon.  He works for a company that makes artificial pussies,  yeah thats right, fake Love Rugs!

Furthest Ejaculation

The Winner:  Horst Schultz from the US.

The Record: Shultz has he charming record of his seme travelling 5,71m (Reportedly as substantial amount managed to go the distance).  The record for female ejaculation is said to be three metres but no-one has named the talented squirter.

Most Sexual Partners in a Day

The Winners (or Losers): Jon Dough and Houston, US porn stars.

The Record: Dough was supposed to sleep with 101 women in one day, but only “managed” to do 52 of them.  Houston had sex with 620 men in one day – the average session with each man last about 58 seconds.

Largest  Orgy

The winner:  Japan

The Record: A total of 250 couples (500 bodies) came together to set this record.  The event took place in a warehouse and was recorded for the world to see.  In true Jap style it was perfectly co-ordinated – each sex act and position was choreographed.  You can even purchase the fucking DVD for only $40

Tuesday Masturbation

Did you know that good ol' DIY is good for you? 

And, no, I'm not talking about erecting flat-pack shelves either.  We're talking the Big M and the Big O. 

Masturbation to Orgasm.

"Masturbation is sex with someone you love", said Woody Allen, but many women feel ashamed to masturbate. Not only is it ok to masturbate, there are also great health benefits.....

If you’re like most women, you’ve been brought up to think of the idea of masturbation as something dirty, shameful or embarrassing.

While masturbation is considered perfectly acceptable for men, it’s always been something of a taboo subject for women. Not only is it not wrong for women, it can actually have far reaching side effects that can be good for your health. 

Sexual climax is the primary reason for masturbation

Of course, the primary reason for masturbation is to bring yourself to sexual climax. This can be an important tool in and of itself, as it is the easiest and best way for a woman to become comfortable with her own body. The more you are aware of your own physical needs, the better you’ll be able to communicate them to your partner, which can lead to a better sexual experience for both of you.

...but masturbation has other benefits too

Aside from improving your ability reach orgasm, however, masturbation can actually have other benefits. 

Women tend to be more withdrawn in regards to sexual response than men and masturbation is the easiest way to overcome this. There is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to enjoy yourself and there should be no reason to hesitate about it.

Masturbation is a great stress reliever

Our daily lives can cause us to be under a great deal of stress and that stress can lead to a variety of health problems. Believe it or not, masturbation is one of the easiest, safest and most pleasurable ways to relieve that stress.

It can even help to improve your mood as the hormones released during orgasm can cause intense feelings of happiness and contentment.

Masturbation can help PMS and migraine sufferers

That same release of hormones can also help to ease certain physical discomfort, including the cramping and irritability of PMS and even, in some cases, the symptoms of migraine headaches. Scientists aren’t sure exactly what the connection is between orgasm and pain relief but many people have found that reaching sexual climax can bring physical relief.

A positive effect for your partner

While masturbation is, necessarily, about self pleasure, it can also have a positive effect for your partner as well. Some men actually get excited by watching their partner masturbate, and having a better idea of what brings you pleasure can help you guide your partner during sex. 

You should never feel uncomfortable when it comes to showing your partner what you like, good sex should always be about pleasuring both partners, so don’t sell yourself short.

No need to feel guilty about masturbation

And perhaps the most important thing every woman should know about masturbation is that it is not something you should feel guilty about.

There is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself, even if you are in a committed relationship. Rather than taking away from your experience with your partner, it only enhances it and by allowing you to become more comfortable and confident with your own body, it can actually be empowering.

Masturbation is normal and natural

It’s not a subject that most women talk about easily, but masturbation is a perfectly normal and natural part of the human experience.

So don’t shy away from the idea of experiencing orgasm, it can be one of the most important things you’ll ever do for yourself. Don’t be ashamed…masturbation shouldn’t be a woman’s dirty little secret!