[A Daft Scots Lass]

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Willy and Kate Lie Back and Think of England

Oor Wully and Kate are cashing in on their up and coming Wedding by selling Official Royal Wedding Condoms

Yes, only 5 Quid for 3 Crown Jewel Shags!

(okay its not really Kate and Will marketing and selling the condoms but seems everyone is jumping on the royal horse-driven coach with their own "Wedding of the Decade" crappy souvenirs)

Yeah, this beautiful commemorative mug has poor Kate marrying wrong fucking brother, Doochebag! Who in their right mind would go for the ginger brother when they could have Will?

Will Wales's Stag 2011 Tee

Expect to see these cute little bastards
outside Buckin-Gnome Palace

Royal Wedding Sick Bags

Coffee Mugs

Coaster

Life Size Cardboard Cut Outs (I shit you not)

and the boring yet ever-so English - Tea Towel

The Royal Fridge

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Monday, 28 March 2011

I had phone sex...and got an ear infection

Happy Monday Morning to ye!

Xmas Dolly and her gals are doing it again for the 31st week!

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Sunday, 27 March 2011

P-Party Happy 21st Birthday Devon

Devon had his 21st Birthday party last night and the Theme was Dress as something "P".

I went as Pippi Long Stockings, my Boerewors went as Papparazzi complete with Press Pass with all the cameras and photography stuff hanging around his neck.

It was great to see Tandy again after so long. Tandy and I have been friends since first year in high school (25 years) and she still looks brilliant. It was her son, Devon, who turned 21 last night and we were invited to share the celebration with them.

Now, they're off on a Cruise to the Bazeruto islands for 7 days! I'm jealous as all hell

Pippi Long Stockings and Papparazzi Man

Louis (The Priest) and Devon (The Pilot)

Tandy

Table Decor

Devon with his grandparents

Devon blowing out his candles

Devon and his cake

The Papparazzi complete with Press Pass

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How to Create Pippi Long Stockings Hair Braids

Going to a fancy dress "P" party today and decided to go as Pippi Long Stockings because its stuff that I'll have lying around the house.

My Boerewors wanted to go as a Penis or a Pussy of course complete with realistic Love Rug. I said No Fekkin' way! Besides, he would never be able to accumulate that amount of pubic hair in 24 hours!

Here is how I got my hair to look like this:

You will need :

Materials

Soldering Wire

Hair brush

Bobby pins

Ribbons

Hair Bands

Step 1: Wash your hair the day before you wear the Pippi braids, but not the day of. Having slightly dirty hair helps the style hold. Brush it out well.

Step 2: Part your hair into 2 piggy tails.

Step 3: Measure out and cut a single piece of wire. Find the right length by placing the wire across the crown of your head and making sure it is as long as both pigtails. Then give yourself an extra inch or two on each end, just in case. Bend the wire to match the curve of your head.

Step 4: Secure the wire with clips then undo 1 pigtail and separate into 3 sections. Braid your hair just like normal, except wrap the wire inside the braid. This means to just make sure that the wire is snug inside each weave of the braid.

Step 5: Secure the end with a hairband. Then braid the other half. Trim the extra wire from the end of the braids

Step 6: Cover any obvious wire with your hair by using a bobby pin. Add Ribons to the ends.

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Friday, 25 March 2011

Fawk You Friday and Shoegasm

Boobies, Babies and a Blog hosts Fawk You Friday. Go link up and bitch, whine and moan as much as you want.

This week's Fuck You's:

Fuck you to my car boot that bashed and pummeled my index and middle finger. I was outside of Megan's school when it happened so I couldn't shout my usual colourful four-letter words. I did sneer and nearly cry and the word FUCKER! was on the tip on my tongue..

Fuck You to the Holiday Club people that took up two hours of our time last night with promises of a free holiday, while they blabbed on about cruises we'll never be able to take, Bali Beaches and how beautiful Italy is. Will I ever fekkin' learn?

Fuck you my favourite orbitrek machine at gym that has started squeaking. I like to be tucked away in the corner when I train because it makes me feel invisible and safe. Yesterday my corner machine started squeaking and because I had Jack White jamming in my ears on my iPod, I didn't hear. I wondered why everyone was staring at me.

Fuck You to this idea of organising an South African Blogger Conference that is keeping me awake at night thinking of ideas and angels...I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew...