Fuck You Friday and a Shoegasm

Thank God it's Friday.  This week I'm going back to an old feature which gets things off my chest.  So, with no future ado, here are this week's Fuck Yous.

 

• Fuck you to all those parents who grumble about being a mum.  My life is so fucking hectic but I love being a wife to my wonderful Boerewors and mum to my two wonderfully different wee lassies.   All three of them bring me so much joy.
• Fuck you to the Doochenozzle who tried to sneak in a computer virus through my email.  Have you Fuckers got nothing better to do?  Who sits behind their computer all day designing viruses to piss on everyone’s battery?
• Fuck you to my winter fingers that split and cause me much pain.  My hands and feet throb at night because of fucking winter.  I hate you winter, son-of-a-bitch!

and now on to the pretty things that are incredibly dear to my heart.  Either link up and share your gorgeous heels, or just enjoy drooling over mine.



Christian Louboutins

Tabitha Simmonds

Adorable

Jessica Simpson

Apart from Prince Harry getting naked in Vegas recently, what have you been up to this week?

Fuck Me Dead! It's Friday again, Plonkers

I could easily have drop-kicked my children out the car yesterday morning on the way to bring them to school.

Don't get me wrong, I love my wee lassies with every fibre of my being but sometimes they press my buttons and I turn into a foaming-at-the-mouth fiend. It's not fucking pretty and I get into a head-space where I could effortlessly sell them for wine money at the drop of a hat.

If you’re a parent you know exactly what I’m talking about.

When you have nagged your precious angels for the sixth time to brush their teeth and you literally have to drag them away from the telly kicking and screaming, and you’re inches away from blowing a gasket. You bite your lip and pray to Jesus to give you strength but the prayers aren’t answered directly.

You begin raising your voice and banging cupboard doors, stomping around and your children look at your bewildered and wide-eyed, as if to say, ”where did THIS all come from?”

Clearly, the expressions on their tiny faces clarify that they don’t understand, but somehow they know that they’ve crossed the line and you’re freaky the fuck out.

At this point there is no turning back. You’re ranting about everything and saying things that make no sense to children. You’ve officially turned into a beasty monster . The children have become quiet and you’re getting louder.

Then once you’ve exploded and dropped them off at school, the guilt kicks in.

Riddled with blame, because you couldn’t hold it together and suck it all up, like you do every other day. Remorse that you couldn’t stay in control and handle it like a responsible adult.

Your heart hurts and regret bleeds from your eyes.

The mood lasts the entire day.

I Thank the Lord we are two parents during these times.

You need the other parent to lean on, to take over when you feel you’re not in control anymore. The other person who prevents you from making the sale.

Sale, you ask?

The sale to sell your offspring for whiskey or hard drugs. Neither of which I even like.

and now on to happier times....some pretty shoes.

I thought this week I'd share shoes in my favourite colour. Orange.  Ooooo baby, who can stand it??

Christian Louboutin - my favourite shoe designer

Sexy Strappy Sandals $34.99 at ShoeOcean



Carvela Azalia from Shoe Fanatic



Jeffrey Campbell ‘Garret’

Groovy Orange Heels

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Fuck You Friday and a Shoegasm

$63.99

Polka Dot Heels from New Look

Kurt  Geiger GBP160

Fuck you Friday hosted by My Mad Mind and Boobies

Here are my Fawk Yous this week.  Go link up and vent.

• Fuck you to my skin at the moment.   I look like a pimply teenager and I haven't had a hormone zit in yonks.  What's up with that?  Hello Oxy10.  All I can say is thank you Jesus for foundation.
• Fuck you to the scale that hasn't moved in a week!  I'm getting despondent you insensitive piece of crap.  Just give me some good news soon or Dr Dukan gets it, okay? 
• Fuck you to the two-faced Fucker who makes my life hell everyday.  The wheel turns you DoocheBiatch.  Watch your back!
• Fuck you to the coward assbag who stole R50 out of my wallet - at work!  All you had to do was ASK.

Now go and have a kick-arse weekend, Plonkers!  ♥ yer faces off!

Fawk You Friday and another Shoegasm

This week has been fucking HECTIC and yet another week whizzed by.


I really haven't had time to properly blog this week. I've fumbled and russled posts up, which I actually detest doing. I prefer to write from the heart or write something that would make me laugh. But this week, I must admit, my blog has been brilliantly boring and utter pish (to say the least). 

I've been preoccuped with loads of things happening in my life (like I mentioned yesterday).  But, I'm not going to apologise to you Plonkers because, I know you understand that sometimes REAL LIFE takes over and interupts your presence in the Blogsphere.

So, that is my BIG FAT FUCK YOU this week.  I'm not going to give you half-a-dozen wee piddly Fuck Yous because there is actually far too many to list.  Therefore I'm consolidating them into one SOOPA SIZED McFuckyou.

Oh, and I also want to remind you that I have haven't forgotten about the Questions and Answers post.  I've been working on it and I will get around to compiling the post very soon.  I'm almost done so watch out for that postie-post.  Some good questions in there but some of you have forgotten to come back and post yer promised questions.  You can still do this if you want to... 

....and of course I can ALWAYS find time to sneak a pair of pretty heels in for you guys to drool over.

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBC5CjIzVFFAwjP98vng5gRchVZ3GR44PBZRCDDfXvD0zRrOOQVprxxvDJEweZyL44ZjLGKkjARFjcG3dw_TlWT-UMAG8KfXrz5tpmIZOmcxfUr_zXPfjHr8Zo_mKD05Fl7kcRlA-Z1c/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

These Louboutins remind me of the South African flag AND they're pretty so yay!  to Christian for creating these pretty babies

Valentines Day Shoes...so pwetty

And These wee Louboutin Beauties are just fucking HOT!

Have a brilliant Friday and come visit tomorrow to see who won the Caption my Photo Competition this week.  Happy Weekend, Plonkers.

Friday The 13th. Are all you paraskevidekatriaphobics stressing?

Friday the 13th, and I have no one interested in Guest Posting this week, much to my eternal disappointment.  So, I've reverting back to my old Fawk You Friday and a Shoegasm.

• For those who don't know what Fawk You Friday is all about, it's your Friday time to vent your frustrations that you experienced during the week and use the all dirty, manky four letter words you want to.

Go ahead link up and share your Fuck Yous.

• Fuck You to having to go back to work.  It just sucks Donkey Dick, really it does.  I could quite easily be a stay-at-home-person or even cope with a half day job (very few and far between in South Africa).  Urgh! Being a working mum is a bummer.
• Fuck you to my teeny weeny bladder.  Since being on the Dukan Diet and increasing my fluid intake to 1½ to 2 litres of water a day is taking strain on my daily potty breaks.  I'm in there every frikken half hour!  When will my bladder get used to all this extra fluid?
• Fuck you to the gym for not having a scale.  I still can't understand why they don't have one.  I mean, its a gym fucknuts!?!
• Fuckity Fuck You to the Dunderheid producers of Big Bang Theory, its been far too long since my last Sheldon/Leonard fix.  I want to hear Amy play the harp again! Roll on next week!

Keep the heid, Scots Lass and so now it's time for some girlie things that are pure dead brilliant - shoes! Grab the button and share your hooker heels to give me another Shoegasm.

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBC5CjIzVFFAwjP98vng5gRchVZ3GR44PBZRCDDfXvD0zRrOOQVprxxvDJEweZyL44ZjLGKkjARFjcG3dw_TlWT-UMAG8KfXrz5tpmIZOmcxfUr_zXPfjHr8Zo_mKD05Fl7kcRlA-Z1c/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Ralph Lauren $99.00 at Shoes.com

Steve Madden $159.00 at Shoes.com

Benjamin Walk $59.99

Fergie $89.99

Carols Santana $70.99

Steven Madden $99.00

Friday's Shoegasm, a few Fawk Yous and an Incredibly Talented Bloke!

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBC5CjIzVFFAwjP98vng5gRchVZ3GR44PBZRCDDfXvD0zRrOOQVprxxvDJEweZyL44ZjLGKkjARFjcG3dw_TlWT-UMAG8KfXrz5tpmIZOmcxfUr_zXPfjHr8Zo_mKD05Fl7kcRlA-Z1c/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

A long weekend here in SA - well for me anyway - the girls' schools were closed yesterday and Thursday was Youth Day.   Four days at home and my Birthday on Sunday.  How brilliant is that?


Take my Friday's Shoegasm button and join me in posting your favourite pair of kick-arse heels.   






STARDUST BLACK SUEDE £100.00



Gotta slip a pair of The Master's shoes into my birthday week's Shoegasm *drool*



Giuseppe Zanotti $750.00

Betsey Johnson $129

Sam Edelman $100

Naughty Monkey $65.00



Its also Fawk You Friday!  So, go and link up with Boobies and Christy and tell us who fucked you off and pissed on yer battery.

• Fuck you to postal service to lost a few of my letters in the mail. Don't they know how precious those awesome Daft Scots Lass Temp tattoos are?
• Fuck you to this persistant flu that has been trying to invade my body. I've had earache and a sore throat the entire week.  Perhaps its time to go to the doctor.

This dude is fuckin' SOOPA talented!!  ENJOY

Now Plonkers, you have ONE more day to Caption my Freaky Photo #9 and win so click on the link and go leave a comment.

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Fridays Shoegasm, a 55 and Fawk You Friday

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBC5CjIzVFFAwjP98vng5gRchVZ3GR44PBZRCDDfXvD0zRrOOQVprxxvDJEweZyL44ZjLGKkjARFjcG3dw_TlWT-UMAG8KfXrz5tpmIZOmcxfUr_zXPfjHr8Zo_mKD05Fl7kcRlA-Z1c/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Another dreich day in Johannesburg.

So lets cheer ourselves up by seeking out some awesome heels.  Oh yeah, it was between that and chocolate today and chocolate is a no-go.

Take my Friday's Shoegasm button and join me in posting your favourite pair of funky stilettos.   

$324.99 from L.A.M.B.

Baby Phat Casidy Heel $34.99



I don't usually post flats but these caught my eye.  They look so natural and rustic.  Like you could roll 'em up and smoke 'em.    Apple Bottoms by Nelly $34.99

LoriBlu Jeweled Blue Satin Sandal $550



R315 on Bid or Buy

This graphic artist, Taylor Reeve, hand paints her pop art on all sorts of different canvases.  Here she's painted on the soles of a pair of funky stilettos.  What a brilliant idea!



Its Fawk You Friday!  So, go and link up with Boobies and Christy and find expression for all those bottled up feelings of anger and frustration towards anyone and everything that pissed on yer battery this week.

• Fuck you to the hackit school teacher that did not allow my Megan to go to the bathroom when she asked politely.  Poor sweet Megan tried to hold it in but eventually wet herself. All because of some teacher on a fucking Power Trip.  I'll take that Bitch down!  I wrote a strongly-worded letter the principal yesterday and I better have some feedback soon!
• Fuck you to the wet winter weather that is'nae good for our leaky roof.  The other night it poured down our walls.  Rain! Rain! Go Away, ye manky bastid - Och just Fuck Off!
• Fuck you to the thumb tack I sat on yesterday in my office.  Ah'mno sure if some Bawheed executed a practical joke on me and placed it on my chair, or if it just fell off my pin-board on to my chair.  Well, the all-embracing cynic in me is I going with shithead playing a practical joke.  I will find out who you are - I will seek revenge.
  
  
  

  
  I'm taking part in Flash Fiction Friday 55.  You need to give G-Man and visit and tell a story in 55 words.  I haven't done it in a while but I had some inspiration this week.
  
  
  
  

  You gave me a fright in the supermarket isle.  I was distracted by shopping when you surprised me with your visit.  I kissed you and beamed.  It was indeed lovely that you popped in just because you could.  It’s the little things that make my day.  It’s the little things that make my heart glad.
  
  

"I'm wearing Scottish underwear today; I love the nice breeze"

Now Plonkers, you have ONE more day to Caption my Freaky Photo and win so click on the link and go leave a comment, if you haven't already...

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