Multiple Shoegasm and a Flash 55

Happy Friday, Plonkers!

 The purpose of Flash Fiction Friday 55 is to write a complete story in exactly 55 words.  As always, FFF55 is hosted by The kick-arse G-Man. Go visit him, link up and write your own 55. 

Summer knocks discreetly at the door

I answer wearing my straw hat and a grin

I greet him with a welcoming embrace

The warm breeze tugs at my brim

I tie the pretty ribbons under my chin

Blissful sunshine on my pale neglected skin

Painting my skin a vibrant glow

Such an elegant shade of crimson

Time for a Multiple Shoegasm....

leave a comment if you've linked up and show me some of your pretty heels.

So Incredibly Sexy

Black Spotted Platforms GBP15

Oh Em Gee.  No Fekking Way!  I'd give a month's salary for these!

Gorgeous with Jeans!

Pretty Girlie Purple Heels

So, this weekend I have to change everyone's wardrobes from winter clothes to summer clothes.  Now that Spring is officially a couple of days away, and the weather is definitely much warmer, I need to dig out all my summer stuff.  I'm actually scared that half of it won't fit me any more.  So, its probably going to look like the fashion police fucking puked in my home this weekend. I'll have to do truck loads of washing and ironing - sorting and packing away of all my winter woolies.

Also, next week I have surgery with my 6 year old and I'm really stressing about it because she absa lootly DETESTS hospitals.  I'm not sure how I'm going to play it, but I'm only going to play it by ear on the day.  I want to "prepare" her but at the same time the anticipation makes her anxious. 

Any suggestions?

Friday Shoegasm and a 55

TGIF Plonkers!  I haven't done one of these babies in yonks!  So, while I'm still waiting for some Featured Followers of mine to send me their Guest Posts and get back to me, I'll switch this Friday up a wee bitty and do a Friday Flash Fiction 55.  The point of FFF55 is to write a complete story in exactly 55 words. 

As always, FFF55 is hosted by The infamous G-Man. 

I used to do these all the time but I grew a little intimidated by all the awesome writers involved with the feature.  My piddly 55 paled in comparison to the scores of other talented participants.  I slowly drifted away because I'm certainly no writer, I'm a typist, at most! I still follow some of the 55ers as I love reading their stuff and their blogs, I guess I just stopped commenting as much because I felt I'd chickened out.

Well, I'm back this week and here's my two cents worth whether its worthy or not. 

Daily Goodness

of body, mind and spirit

Imagine, believe, achieve is what my vision board yells

Love your family, Share with your pals

Do be the pick of the bunch, strive to do your best

Keep a positive attitude and learn to jest.

Karma has its own peculiar ploy

Emerging when you least expect her

And now for some pretty twinkly, girly accessories. Sweet, sweet heels.  Take my button, leave a comment that you're linkin up and share your lovely shoes with me.

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBC5CjIzVFFAwjP98vng5gRchVZ3GR44PBZRCDDfXvD0zRrOOQVprxxvDJEweZyL44ZjLGKkjARFjcG3dw_TlWT-UMAG8KfXrz5tpmIZOmcxfUr_zXPfjHr8Zo_mKD05Fl7kcRlA-Z1c/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Iron Fist Heels

Nicholas Kirkwood Spiderweb Heels

Bakers Black and White Peeptoed Pumps

$40.99 Harlequin Heels

Pretty Purple Ankle Boots on FRIKKEN SALE!!  Who's gonna buy these pretty puppies for me seeing as they don't fucking ship to South Africa?! (My Birthday is in June) $39.99

Old Gringo Sharpecito Women's Cowboy Boots available at Zappos.  Dead cool.        

Have a brilliant weekend, Plonkers.

The Great Jack White

Fridays Shoegasm, a few Fawk Yous and a 55

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBC5CjIzVFFAwjP98vng5gRchVZ3GR44PBZRCDDfXvD0zRrOOQVprxxvDJEweZyL44ZjLGKkjARFjcG3dw_TlWT-UMAG8KfXrz5tpmIZOmcxfUr_zXPfjHr8Zo_mKD05Fl7kcRlA-Z1c/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Take my button, leave a comment that you're linking up so I can come and visit your favourite pair of heels!

Fur Stiletto Boots $59.99 from Dollhouse

Fabian Sequin Platform Pumps $49.00

$70.00 Kingston Platform Patch Pump

Pedalz Satin Ruffled Platform Sandal $52.00

Bonsai Wedge Flower Sandal $49.00

 

Valdemia Wedge Strappy Sandals

  $49.00

Go and link up with Boobies and Christy and share your Fawk Yous for this week!

• Fuck you to Nandos for the first crappy flame-grilled chicken burger that I've EVER had from you guys.  I've been a dedicated fan of Nandos for 18 years and this is the first time that I have had food from you guys that was rubbish.  I was shocked and disappointed beyond belief - but I still LOVE you!  Nandos fucking rocks my knickers off!
• Fuck you my office that is so damn cold.  My nipples are sore from the constant pointing.
• Fuck you to the shortage of petrol.  I had to drive around to four different petrol stations at lunch time on Thursday to fill up my car.
• Fuck you to Caburys. This week I bought the girls a strip of Caramello Bears and not one of the bears had the "Tum full of Toffee" (as advertised) they were all made of solid Cadburys milk chocolate.  Hey who's complaining? But I did miss the yummy Toffee Tummy centre.  Sssssh, I know I'm not meant to be eating chocolate. 

 

Flash Fiction Friday 55 is hosted by G-Man and I haven't taken part in a while but I decided to give it another go this week. 

Is there any answer?

Knocking at the old red door

It sounds empty

Vacant and hollow

Is anyone there?

Staring through the mucky window

To be met by a blank void

Unoccupied

Where is everyone?

Isn’t it pointless pounding against a locked door

with no one behind it to open up

and Let me in?

Have a BRILLIANT weekend, Plonkers.  Don't forget to enter my competition - Caption my Freaky Photo #13.

Fridays Shoegasm, a 55 and Fawk You Friday

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBC5CjIzVFFAwjP98vng5gRchVZ3GR44PBZRCDDfXvD0zRrOOQVprxxvDJEweZyL44ZjLGKkjARFjcG3dw_TlWT-UMAG8KfXrz5tpmIZOmcxfUr_zXPfjHr8Zo_mKD05Fl7kcRlA-Z1c/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Another dreich day in Johannesburg.

So lets cheer ourselves up by seeking out some awesome heels.  Oh yeah, it was between that and chocolate today and chocolate is a no-go.

Take my Friday's Shoegasm button and join me in posting your favourite pair of funky stilettos.   

$324.99 from L.A.M.B.

Baby Phat Casidy Heel $34.99



I don't usually post flats but these caught my eye.  They look so natural and rustic.  Like you could roll 'em up and smoke 'em.    Apple Bottoms by Nelly $34.99

LoriBlu Jeweled Blue Satin Sandal $550



R315 on Bid or Buy

This graphic artist, Taylor Reeve, hand paints her pop art on all sorts of different canvases.  Here she's painted on the soles of a pair of funky stilettos.  What a brilliant idea!



Its Fawk You Friday!  So, go and link up with Boobies and Christy and find expression for all those bottled up feelings of anger and frustration towards anyone and everything that pissed on yer battery this week.

• Fuck you to the hackit school teacher that did not allow my Megan to go to the bathroom when she asked politely.  Poor sweet Megan tried to hold it in but eventually wet herself. All because of some teacher on a fucking Power Trip.  I'll take that Bitch down!  I wrote a strongly-worded letter the principal yesterday and I better have some feedback soon!
• Fuck you to the wet winter weather that is'nae good for our leaky roof.  The other night it poured down our walls.  Rain! Rain! Go Away, ye manky bastid - Och just Fuck Off!
• Fuck you to the thumb tack I sat on yesterday in my office.  Ah'mno sure if some Bawheed executed a practical joke on me and placed it on my chair, or if it just fell off my pin-board on to my chair.  Well, the all-embracing cynic in me is I going with shithead playing a practical joke.  I will find out who you are - I will seek revenge.
  
  
  

  
  I'm taking part in Flash Fiction Friday 55.  You need to give G-Man and visit and tell a story in 55 words.  I haven't done it in a while but I had some inspiration this week.
  
  
  
  

  You gave me a fright in the supermarket isle.  I was distracted by shopping when you surprised me with your visit.  I kissed you and beamed.  It was indeed lovely that you popped in just because you could.  It’s the little things that make my day.  It’s the little things that make my heart glad.
  
  

"I'm wearing Scottish underwear today; I love the nice breeze"

Now Plonkers, you have ONE more day to Caption my Freaky Photo and win so click on the link and go leave a comment, if you haven't already...

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Fawk You Friday, Shoegasm Shizzle and a Fizzy 55

So it's Fawk You Friday again!  Can you believe it?  Well my lovelies, head on over to Boobies, Babies and a Blog and link up.  Have some stinky cheese with your whine and let it all hang oot!

My Fuck You's this week:

Fuck you to my car's clutch cable that snapped in the middle of a busy traffic circle during rush-hour at 4pm in the afternoon just about 500m from my daughter's school.  All those fuckers peeping and gesturing for me to get out the way.  Where the fuck must I go when my car doesn't have a clutch and I'm on an incline.  Do I crawl up my own arsehole? Piss off!  

However, My Knight-In-Shining-Boerewors came to my rescue with tow car and tow rope.  Smart man!  I was in tears on the way home because I didn't know how to keep the rope tight without my breaks smelling like they were going to explode or trying to view all this through streaming tears.  

Story not over.  It happened again yesterday!  It snapped off mid-busy intersection and my Knight-In-Shining-Boerewors had to come to my rescue again.  He deserves a medal for coming to the rescue again, even though his wife was screaming down the phone at him.  I'm deeply sorry for taking out my frustrations on you!  I would rather evacuate my bowels in a public place than go through that again.


Fuck You to my stupid scale.  It hasn't budged since I started gym two weeks ago.  I thought I'd have lost at least 1 fekkin kilogram by now.  Urgh!  Keep plodding along on that Orbitrek machine, gurl!

Head on over to G-Man and sign up for Flash Fiction Friday and write a complete story in 55 words.  Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

Sugar Free and yet sweet

Dark and Lovely

500mls of soft,

carbonated black beauty

Caffeine and Phenylalanine  loaded

Nice constant Buzzzzz

4 kilojoules of yumminess

0 grams of guilt-free fat

40mg of Sodium that’s 2% of your GDA

GDA – Guideline Daily Amount

Recyclable Plastic Bottle

Chug it down

Aahhhh!

Coke Lite does it for me!

Its Friday's Shoegasm over at  Peace Love Appelsauce

Go Link up and enjoy all the Heels



$669 at FabCrush

Orange (my favourite colour) Louboutin Knock-Offs $142

For the up-and-coming Royal Wedding  from Irregular Choice

Irregular Choice GBP79.99

Irregular Choice GBP129.99

I wish someone in the UK could send me a pair of Irregular Choice shoozies.  I'm a SA Size 4 if anyone wants to surprise me for my birthday in June.

I couldn't help but throw in a handbag because its so damn cute from Irregular Choice for GBP79.99.  Boy, do they have the most adorable accessories or what?. 

Have a BRILLIANT weekend and don't do anything I would do.  Bazinga!

April Fools!

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Flash Fiction Friday 55

the

silly

season

is over

the tinsel

and baubles

packed away.

Fluffy red hats and 

wellington boots never

suited the southern hemisphere

anyway. The stores all have their 50%

sales - getting rid of Christmas stock so soon?

Nothing Lasts Forever. Isn’t it sad and heart-breaking

that its all over so quickly?

Until

Next

Year

..

Head on over to G-Man and sign up for Flash Fiction Friday. 

 Its easy, you try to write a complete story in 55 words.

Day 13 - The 30 Day Blog Challenge and Friday 55

Topic :  Your Favourite Musician and Why

"In Some respects I suspect you've got a respectable side..." - Jack White

My favourite musician is Jack White from The White Stripes.  He's an incredibly talent musician and artist.  The band has a unique sound, I love their red, white and black outfits and Jack White's guitar playing is genius! When he slides those bluesy guitar riffs, I'm completely smitten.  Oh and he's not bad lookin' either.... 

Its Flash Fiction Friday 55 over at G-Man

Try writing a complete story in only 55 words.

10 White soldiers

Standing to attention

Straight and true

Assembled in perfect formation

4 – 3 – 2 - 1

Constructed to take a pounding

Again and again and again

Trained to be gunned down

Tumbling with skill

Taught to arise from a walloping

Blood red rings around their necks

Ten Pin Bowling Pins are bad ass

Fawk You Friday

Join us in venting some of this week's frustrations over at Boobies

Fuck You to the booze at yesterday's Christmas Function.  My colon is in agony today.

 

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