Multiple Shoegasm and a Flash 55

Happy Friday, Plonkers!

 The purpose of Flash Fiction Friday 55 is to write a complete story in exactly 55 words.  As always, FFF55 is hosted by The kick-arse G-Man. Go visit him, link up and write your own 55. 

Summer knocks discreetly at the door

I answer wearing my straw hat and a grin

I greet him with a welcoming embrace

The warm breeze tugs at my brim

I tie the pretty ribbons under my chin

Blissful sunshine on my pale neglected skin

Painting my skin a vibrant glow

Such an elegant shade of crimson

Time for a Multiple Shoegasm....

leave a comment if you've linked up and show me some of your pretty heels.

So Incredibly Sexy

Black Spotted Platforms GBP15

Oh Em Gee.  No Fekking Way!  I'd give a month's salary for these!

Gorgeous with Jeans!

Pretty Girlie Purple Heels

So, this weekend I have to change everyone's wardrobes from winter clothes to summer clothes.  Now that Spring is officially a couple of days away, and the weather is definitely much warmer, I need to dig out all my summer stuff.  I'm actually scared that half of it won't fit me any more.  So, its probably going to look like the fashion police fucking puked in my home this weekend. I'll have to do truck loads of washing and ironing - sorting and packing away of all my winter woolies.

Also, next week I have surgery with my 6 year old and I'm really stressing about it because she absa lootly DETESTS hospitals.  I'm not sure how I'm going to play it, but I'm only going to play it by ear on the day.  I want to "prepare" her but at the same time the anticipation makes her anxious. 

Any suggestions?

Flash Fiction Friday 55

the

silly

season

is over

the tinsel

and baubles

packed away.

Fluffy red hats and 

wellington boots never

suited the southern hemisphere

anyway. The stores all have their 50%

sales - getting rid of Christmas stock so soon?

Nothing Lasts Forever. Isn’t it sad and heart-breaking

that its all over so quickly?

Until

Next

Year

..

Head on over to G-Man and sign up for Flash Fiction Friday. 

 Its easy, you try to write a complete story in 55 words.

Flash Fiction Frdiay 55 and Other Arb Shite

The G-Man hosts Flash Fiction Friday 55.  Go visit him and give him some love and join hundreds of other bloggers playing the writing game. Write a complete story in only 55 words…

Scary and Creepy

Chilling and Bloodcurdling

Children stalk the neighborhood

Concealed behind masks and home-made Halloween costumes

Sniffing out the households with the best candy

Giggling, chuckling and playing practical jokes

Straining  to bite the dangling treacle scone  hands-free

and Bobbing for apples

Respect the dead and leave the Ouija board alone

Or else…bwaaaaahaaaaaah

Yay! Its Fawk You Friday hosted by Boobies

Let rip...

Fuck You to the South Africa electrical thunder and lightning storms that keep my sobbing children clinging to me like wee leeches when the forked lighning shoots across the sky and the cloud bang together.  My poor wee buttons are terrified and then my bed has to be shared.  Four bodies in a double bed is not a laughing matter...

Fuck you to my brand new expensive mascara that I can't fucking wear because it causes my eyes to burn like all hell shite fire, itch like an Arab's sand mite-infested crotch and ooze attractive yellow puss.  So much for expensive is the best. Humph!

Fuck you to my bastard shit-face laptop that kept crashing this week and giving me fucking weird html errors on my blog.  Geezo, I tried over a dozen times to get my Bloggers Ink Challenge posted - and on top of that - I still managed to royally fuck it up.   My poor Boerewors had to spend hours reloading everything just so that I could make Half-Nekkid Thursday aka HNT in time.  So a huge THANK YOU to My Boerewors for making it happen and having the patience to put up with my constant slamming of the keyboard (sometimes it does work - most times it doesn't).

Fuck you to conspiracy theories...there are many things bubbling under the surface at the moment.  All to be revealed soon (if I'm not bound by a Confidentiality Agreement, that is)  
 

 Go FlogYoBlog Friday at
Random Ramblings of a SAHM 

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Episode 9

Join me in playing this writing game with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man on Fridays, called 55 Flash Fiction Fridays.




Warning!
If someone knocks on your front door
Saying they are from the Health and Safety Board
checking for ticks due to the warm weather
They'll ask you to take your clothes off
and dance around with your arms up

Do not do it!

This is a scam!

They only want to see you nekkid.

FlogYoBlog Friday over at MummyTime.  Go check it out!

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Episode 7

Join me in playing this writing game with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man on Fridays, called 55 Fiction Fridays, or 55 Fridays.  The idea is to write a complete story in only 55 words.

So, get your pen poised and either write a 55 word story on your own blog, or you can post it in my comments below. Its all good and I do it for fun.  Give it a go!

Hold it firmly

Not too tight

Never Squeeze

Moisten your lips

Cover the tip with your mouth, gently suck

Slowly trail your tongue around the rim

Then lazily lick up the sides

Don’t mess a single drop

Hmmmmmmmm

Never bite

Like an angel

Dancing in

your mouth

Ice-cream

cones

Is

One

Of

My

Favourite

treats

Over at MummyTime

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Episode 6 - Flog Yo Blog

Join me in playing this writing game with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man on Fridays, called 55 Fiction Fridays, or 55 Fridays.

The idea is to write a complete story in only 55 words.

So, get your pen poised and either write a 55 word story on your own blog, or you can post it in my comments below. Its all good.

I counted from one to ten

I clasped my hands together, closed my eyes and prayed

I locked myself in the bathroom

I hid out where no one could find me

I wished to be invisible

projected to blend in

But I'm very close to giving up

don't make me have to fuck shit up

Mummy Time - Flog Yo Blog Friday is about passing it forward.  Go check it out.  Happy Friday!

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Episode 5

Join me in playing this writing game with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man  on Fridays, called 55 Fiction Fridays, or 55 Fridays. The idea is to write a complete story in only 55 words.

So, get your pen poised and either write a 55 word story on your own blog, or you can post it in my comments below.  Its all good.





They're not love handles!
No.
I've got love impact protection barriers.
And they’re all mine!
I have proudly cultivated them
over many years
And proud to say
they cost me a small fortune
KFC
Pizza
Nandos
Maccie D’s
It doesn’t come cheap anymore.
Having two kids did contribute.
The price you pay for awesomeness...