Calligraphuck Needs your Fucking Dollars

Go buy a T-shirt or some cards!

Over the last few months, Linus has taken things as far as he can on my own. He's made several card designs, made several prototypes with a hobby kit. However, his skills as a printer leave much to be desired, which is why he has partnered up with the Hungry Workshop, a fantastic independent letterpress studio in Melbourne. Now he need OUR help to share them with the world.

He is looking to raise $5,000. This will cover:

• Letterpress printing of 4 card designs, each in metallic silver on beautiful, thick card stock. Blank on the inside for your personal message.
• Manufacturing bespoke string and button envelopes
• Producing extra rewards for Indiegogo such as stickers and shirts
• Shipping and handling for funding rewards

If he reaches $10,000 he will print 2 sets of 4 designs (8 designs in total), and you will be able to pick which set you would like (or get both!)

Get the word out

If you want to get some bonus rewards added to your reward pack, or even if you can't afford to help fund the project, you can still help us out. There will even be some prizes up for grabs soon.

• Twitter: Send out a tweet to let your friends know about Calligraphuck or follow the project at @calligraphuck.
• Facebook: Like the Calligraphuck facebook page and or post about Calligraphuck and shock and delight your relatives.
• Instagram: It's not just for pictures of your cat and your breakfast anymore! Follow Calligraphuck on Instagram and repost to your followers.
• Tumblr: You know what to do. You look like you know your way around a fucking reblog. Follow us too.
• Pinterest: Share our posts on Pinterest and freak out those uptight bitches from the young mother's book club.

My leg bone is connected to my foot bone, my foot bone is connected to your face bone, your face bone's connected to the pavement stone. Now heed my words: Fuck off!"

I was thinking (as do from time-to-time) about some things that piss me off and really get my bloody boiling.  So, I decided to make this list to share with you Plonkers to see if we have any similarities:

• When people say 'Life is Short'. What? Um, no it isn’t. It’s the longest damn thing you’ll ever do, FuckKnob 
• When I am waiting in line for the bus and some idiot asks, “hey did the bus come yet?” “Yes, and I decided to stay here and let you know that you missed it, ButtHead.” 
• Pretty girls who bemoan about how pretty they are, because oh gosh darn it, it’s such a hassle to beat off dozens of swooning guys. Seriously, shut the fuck up, Bitch. 
• Un-sweetened chocolate. Why? Why the shite would they do that? Is it some cruel joke? It doesn’t matter, just stop making it that way. 
• I can go weeks without having to log in to anything. The wonders of computer magic. It usually remembers my passwords for me.  Fancy that? Then out of the blue. It forgets. Oh Pish! I don’t frikken remember! 
• Trying to suppress a sneeze when you have diarrhea.
• It pisses me off that anytime I sit down to eat a meal, my two girl-children feel the need to call me.  Can they not talk to me when I'm IN the same room?  You have two parents.  Call yer Dad
• Slow people. Those Plonkers who take their damn sweet time doing everything. Who moves at the pace of a crippled nun?
• Those douchenozzles who brag about their skinny genes. They don’t just show off their waif-like waists, they have to constantly emphasize that they eat a lot but 'can’t gain weight'. They always say things like “Oh my god, I am so stuffed, I had a whole Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake for lunch!” while they pat their inverted bellies, and yet the only trace of fattening items I’ve seen them eat is a handful of nuts. Unsalted and dry-roasted, of course.

I got a bad case of the Fuck-its.

Happy Friday, Plonkers!

A to Z Blog Challenge's Day Six Motto versus Insult is

Faith

To me, Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the entire staircase. 

Faith is being soopa sure of what you hope for and certain of what you DON'T see.  

Faith, for me, is believing in something that isn't scientifically plausable.

Today's Insult is, surprise, surprise....taaaraaa (oh fekkit I'm sooo predictable)

Fuck

Oh brilliant! I love fucking this word.  Fuck is so expressive and can be used as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb and even part of a word.  AbsaFuckingLootly!   There are so many fantabulous variations of it.

Fucknob is one of my ultimate favourite insults, Fucker is close second.  Fuckface...och aye, I could go on for ages...Go on say it out loud, you'll feel sooooo much better.  I dare ye, say it out loud now.  Fuck.  Fffffffuck!  It sounds even better in a Scottish accent.

Someone once said "How about a nice big cuppa Shut the Fuck Up?" - that tickled me no end...  Just as much as Fuckalicious and Giving a Fuck so that you don't have to. 

I say Fuck a lot and whoever says its not a fun four-letter word to say is a fucking liar.  Stand back before I Fuck Shit Up.

I couldn't forget posting a pretty pair of heels for Friday's Shoegasm.  These beauteefool Christian Louboutins are perfect for colour blocking this winter!  Wouldn't they look great with a pair of hot pink skinny jeans?

Day 25 - The 30 Day Blog Challenge

Topic - What's in your purse?

My purse is where I keep my money and my credit/debit cards but I'm sure this topic means my handbag because the Yanks call it a purse.

So here's whats in my handbag (I would've done another VLOG but I know no one would watch it)

• Make Up Bag
• iPod, earbuds and charger
• Letter to Santa from Megan (haven't posted it yet)
• Deoderant
• Lighter and Fags
• 2 memory sticks
• Hair brush
• Tissues
• A Car Freshener
• Bills
• Waterless Hand Cleanser
• Ultima Fat Away
• Three Pens
• Scrunchie and clips to tie up my hair
• Some dirty tissues
• Car Keys
• Purse 

But Who the Fuck gives a fucking rats arse about that, right? My grovelling apologies to bore you to fucking tears and very nearly slitting your wrists, here's a vid that brough me to tears in a different way!!!

 

I laughed so hard I nearly peed my knickers!

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Episode 6 - Flog Yo Blog

Join me in playing this writing game with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man on Fridays, called 55 Fiction Fridays, or 55 Fridays.

The idea is to write a complete story in only 55 words.

So, get your pen poised and either write a 55 word story on your own blog, or you can post it in my comments below. Its all good.

I counted from one to ten

I clasped my hands together, closed my eyes and prayed

I locked myself in the bathroom

I hid out where no one could find me

I wished to be invisible

projected to blend in

But I'm very close to giving up

don't make me have to fuck shit up

Mummy Time - Flog Yo Blog Friday is about passing it forward.  Go check it out.  Happy Friday!