Tale of Tails....Holy Crap on a Cracker!

The bloke born with a tail!

Oram has refused any operation to remove his tail and because of it he is an object of devotion to many, who believe him to be an incarnation of Hanuman.

Having a human tail might have brought Oram thousands of devotes but it hasn’t helped him in one area – the desire to get married and become a father and have children. ”Almost 20 women have turned down marriage proposals. They see me and agree to a match. But as soon as I turn around, they see my tail and leave. But I have decided I will marry the woman who accepts me and my tail. Or else, I’ll remain a bachelor like Hanuman,” he said.

And YOU thought I was fucking daft?!?




You think that's fucking weird?  This cracker is a repulsive gag fest.

This bloke, Sanju Bhagat’s had felt self-conscious his whole life about his big belly. His stomach was once so swollen he looked nine months pregnant and could barely breathe.

But one night in June 1999, living in the city of Nagpur, India, Bhagat’s problem erupted into something much larger than cosmetic worry. An ambulance rushed the 36-year-old farmer to the hospital. Doctors thought he might have a giant tumor, so they decided to operate and remove the source of the bulge in his belly.  Mehta said that he can usually spot a tumor just after he begins an operation. But while operating on Bhagat, Mehta saw something he had never encountered. As he cut deeper into Bhagat’s stomach, gallons of fluid spilled out - and then something extraordinary happened. “First, one limb came out, then another limb came out. Then some part of genitalia, then some part of hair, some limbs, jaws, limbs, hair.”

At first glance, it may look as if Bhagat had given birth.

Actually, Mehta had removed the mutated body of Bhagat’s twin brother from his stomach.

Get yer brown paper bag and all together now.... BARF!

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!

Have you ever wondered how much time you spend sleeping or perched on the loo?  Have you ever wondered how much the average Plonker eats in his lifetime?  Or how long your hair would've grown had you not been ripped off by that scabby barber for that last haircut. 


Did you know?

• Your blood travels about 96 000km through your body every day?  Holy crapiola! That's six times the distance from Cape Town to Tunisia in North Africa.

• You have almost 100 000 hairs on just yer pretty wee head.
• If you were to add up the hours spent every day in front of the telly is would come to 12 years.
• At the age of 10 you have about 17 friends but by the time you reach the big 4-0 you'll have only two good mates.
• An amazing 17 million Plonkers have their birthday on the same day as you.  That's the number of people living in Beijing, China.
• The average FuckKnob laughs about 18 times a day.
• Most fat-arses eat almost 30 tons of food in their lifetime.  That's the weight of 50 elephants! It would take six years for you to consume this quantity if you ate steadily and constantly.
• Us working bastards spend 10 years of our lives at work.
• If you were to add up all the time you spend on the shitter taking either a dump, or a whizz it would equate to three years.
• Waiting sucks but in your lifetime you'll spend seven months stuck in traffic and two months on the phone holding for some Doochenozzle to answer your call.
• The average heart beats more or less 2.5 billion times in a lifetime.  No wonder I'm always knackered.
• Nearly 100 people die annually from choking on ballpoint pens.
• You manufacture about 1.7 litres of saliva a day.  That's enough to fill two swimming pools with gob during your lifetime!
• If you're left-handed you may live nine years less than someone who's right-handed. I shit you not.
• Next time you sneeze remember that those little Germ Fuckers travel at 160km per hour

Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime?

Don't forget to enter my Mother's Day Giveaway.  It ends 10 May so you still have a chance to win. Click on the Banner on my sidebar or on the link.  You know you want to.   

Holy Crap on a Cracker!

You guys know I love this shit! I scour the interwebz for shite that makes me go "What the Fuck?" and so I have to share it all with you Plonkers.  

Enjoy!

Horny Remover?

For the Telemarketer Fuckers

This one actually looks useful

The Kush Breast Separator

Share |