Fifth Day of Christmas - Blogfestivus

On the 5th Day of Christmas my true love sent to me ...


....5 Gold Rings


Well, I have other rings...erm things in mind for MY 12 Days of Christmas.  Oh yeah, you Plonkers know what I'm talking about.  Good old fashioned filthy porn!  


We couldn't....correction... I couldn't have 12 Happy Days of Christmas without a good fat chunk of porn.   


Gosh, this wee song of mine has taken many twists and turns, hasn't it just indeed.  Och aye, just the way I like it.  It wouldn't have "A Daft Scots Lass" stamp of approval if there wasn't as wee bit of saucy shoved into the pie.


Hence, the song continues to flourish and mutate its own swagger...


"5 Gigs of Porn
4 Liverpool Blokes
3 Brontë Sisters
2 Jimmy Choos
And Jamie Oliver's Satay Chicken on a Stick"

Freaky Friday - Episode Four - WTF?

My Freaky Friday's theme this week is :  WTF???

What the Fuck is happening in these pictures?  Freaks with a capital F!

Is that a Muppet wedged in there?

Piggie Midget with Vodka.  Why the fuck is there an axe stuffed down his pleather trousers?

Saggy Ass Geriatric Pyromaniac in a crash helmet and heels flees the scene...

Take your paartner by the limbs,

Suck on your juicy cucumbers,

Balance that block of lard on yer head,

in your wife's skirt and underwear?

Grubs Up!

Take a look at the size of this mutha-grubba!

With those googly eyes and inflated lips, this plonker is doing a pretty good impersonation of a gay FISH who's Stylin'.

And of course we can't leave out the plastic surgery freakazoids:

The most famous of them all

Miss Joscelyn (she was the Shizzle once)

*meow* with ink and piercings

Give us a Kiss with those Blow Job lips

Fugly Barbie Wannabee?

Tori's lopsided tit job.

Two crumpled-up socks in yer wonder bra would look better than this

and a lot cheaper than a fuckin' crappy LA Plastic Surgeon.

The Concave chest of the deflated Paula Abdul

Have a kick ass weekend!

That's All Fuckers!