Fifth Day of Christmas - Blogfestivus

On the 5th Day of Christmas my true love sent to me ...


....5 Gold Rings


Well, I have other rings...erm things in mind for MY 12 Days of Christmas.  Oh yeah, you Plonkers know what I'm talking about.  Good old fashioned filthy porn!  


We couldn't....correction... I couldn't have 12 Happy Days of Christmas without a good fat chunk of porn.   


Gosh, this wee song of mine has taken many twists and turns, hasn't it just indeed.  Och aye, just the way I like it.  It wouldn't have "A Daft Scots Lass" stamp of approval if there wasn't as wee bit of saucy shoved into the pie.


Hence, the song continues to flourish and mutate its own swagger...


"5 Gigs of Porn
4 Liverpool Blokes
3 Brontë Sisters
2 Jimmy Choos
And Jamie Oliver's Satay Chicken on a Stick"

Fawk You Friday and a Shoegasm

Boobies, Babies and a Blog hosts Fawk You Friday.  So, go link up and tell us about that Fucker that cut you off in traffic or the assbag that sneezed down your neck or the untraceable Plonker who never changes the toilet roll when its finished. 

Here are my grumbles:

Fuck you to my premenstrual iPod that never wants to play along.  I get to gym today looking forward to listening to my Jack White and all my fucking songs are corrupt.  Temperamental little Bitch that she is.

Fuck you to Winter.  I hate you!  I detest being cold and you are rapidly creeping in.   Slipping in the back door like the sneaky Doochebag you are.  Long-sleeved tops and jackets are being hauled out.  Don't get me wrong, I love all the cute boots this season, but I hate having to wear layers of clothes that makes you look like fucking Mitchelin Man.

Fuck You to my pathetic local Spar Supermarket for never stocking my favourite Vanilla Yogi-Sips.  I was dying for one and you failed to bestow my craving.  Every other shaggin' flavour except what I was craving for! 

And ALWAYS a big Fuck You when I find a fish bone in my last scrummy bite of battered hake.  It just pisses right on my battery and makes the entire plate of food feel contaminated.  How can that crappy last bite dictate the overall satisfaction of a pretty good fish 'n chips dish?
My Final Fuck You: 

I am so incredibly thwarted that no one is hosting Friday Shoegasm anymore.   Very disappointed indeed, so I've decided to congregate my own group of Heel Worshippers.  Link up, ShoeFreaks and reveal all yer favorite bed hooker heels, Lassies.  Take the button below, post it on your blog and do a post on your favourite heels.


<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBC5CjIzVFFAwjP98vng5gRchVZ3GR44PBZRCDDfXvD0zRrOOQVprxxvDJEweZyL44ZjLGKkjARFjcG3dw_TlWT-UMAG8KfXrz5tpmIZOmcxfUr_zXPfjHr8Zo_mKD05Fl7kcRlA-Z1c/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Bootie Licious $250 from Hipster Chick

Shoeseria

$349 from Jellyfish

Louboutins Knock offs R765

 Have a brilliant weekend!

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Boswell Wilke Circus

Yesterday we were invited to a Kids 5th Birthday Party out at the Old Boswell Wilke Circus farm in RandVaal.  Happy Birthday Tayanna!

The Circus no longer runs or provides shows but they use the venue for kids birthday parties and some of the original circus members are still there. 

The coffee shop they have there is like a mini-museaum with old Boswell Wilke Circus costumes, photos and paraphanelia.  I loved walking through the old wooden house with tin roof, looking at the 50 years of history that this circus has enjoyed. 

Remember Tiekie the Clown?  Anyone who grew up in South Africa and went to the circus, knows the midget clown.  There were loads of pictures of him and loads of costumes that he used to wear.

The children get to practise some circus routines;  the trapese, tight rope walking, juggling, swinging, face painting and then finally they get bright, sparkly circus costumes to wear and put on a show for the parents.  Its a great venue for a kids party however, yesterday it was pissing with rain which made it a little disappointing as we had to wade through loads of puddles to get to each part of the venue.

The kids enjoyed it for 4 hours and the sugar rush was enjoyed for the rest of the day after eating loads of sweeties, popcorn, candy floss, pink birthday cake, hotdogs, lollipops...

Inside the Coffee Shop

Some of the old Circus signage

Old Photos on the walls

Old Circus Machine

the children practising inside the "Big Top" circus tent

The Circus Dogs put on a show

The Candy Floss Stand inside the Big Top Tent

Puting on The Show

Tiekie The Clown

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I had plastic surgery...

...I cut up all my Credit Cards!

Day #4 of Liquid Diet

Yesterday's Smoothie

This one seems to be my favourite so far.  

It includes carrots, pineapple, mango, apple, banana and orange 

juice a couple of mint leaves and a handful of cashew nuts.

Today's Smoothie

Includes:  Spinach (you really don't even taste it but it looks fucking awful!), celery, mango, carrots, apples, banana, pineapple and cranberry juice, a handful of nuts and mint leaves.

don't you just LOVE the dog in the cartoons?

 H

e's forever peeping out with a worried look on his face.

I'm loving the slippers!

I know of few of these types

F....is for Friday and Freaks The Movie

F is for Fridays and with it, goes a number of things... Flash Fiction Friday 55, Fawk You Friday, FlogYoBlog Friday and Freaky Friday, which I will be reintroducing this week.  An old favourite of mine that some bloggers are asking to have back.

So here we go....

The awesome G-Man hosts Flash Fiction Friday 55.  Go visit him and give him some love and join hundreds of other bloggers playing the writing game. Try write a complete story in only 55 words…

Long Lean Legs that go all the way up

Long wavy golden Blonde locks

Perfectly French-manicured finger nails

Flawlessly painted toes

Smooth Honey-coloured skin screaming to be caressed

Rose coloured glossy lips begging to be kissed

Firm arse and perky ski-slope breasts

Soliciting desire

This is who I’d like to be - for a day.

Join Fawk You Friday hosted by Boobies

My Fuck You's for the week:

• To a certain bright spark at the office (I will refrain from mentioning names) but "You're a cock and a fuck-up. Any further complaints can be directed toward my fucking arse, where I'm sure you'll receive a warm response"
• Fuck You to the manager of our local supermarket who NEVER has my brand of cigarettes, no matter how much I ask him to get stock.  Why don't you come back to me when your brain's decided that it wasn't designed to be a shit box, okay? Run along now, Mr Spar Doochebag.
• Fuck you to the many boob-tube dresses I have and love.  God knows, I love how cool they are in the summer but, if I tramp on the fucking hem once more and my titties fall out, I'm gonna scream! 
• Fuck you to Dr Pepper that is stocked at one of our local shops (not made here in SA) but charged me fucking R12.99 for a small 330ml can.  Daylight fucking robbery... but I got one anyway...

I heart Dr Pepper

Go FlogYoBlog at Random Ramblings of a SAHM

Theme: Freaks,The Movie

 Can a full grown woman truly love a MIDGET ?

I'm rekindling the Freaky Friday posts coz I've got so much to share.  So many freaks, so little time...just the way I laaik it.

Freaks is a 1932 American horror film about sideshow performers, directed and produced by Tod Browning  with a cast mostly composed of actual carnival (funfair) performers including Schlitzie the Pinhead and many more...check the freaks out below...

Schlitzie was a MALE, but was always presented as a female because she had to be diapered and it was easier to care for her when she was in her Moo-moo



The Cast of  "Freaks"



Peter Robinson aka The Human Skeleton

Frances O'Connor - The Armless Lady



Prince Randian (The Human Caterpillar)
who was born with no arms or legs but managed to father five children and could roll a cigarette with his lips and smoke it.

Minnie Woosley aka KooKoo the Bird Girl

Olga Barnell aka The Bearded Lady

Daisy and Violet Hilton. 
Their biological mother sold them to the midwife shortly after they were born.