Plonkers! Its been a while...

Hi Plonkers!

I gave up blogging some time ago.... after 7 years of blogging every day!  

I loved it.  I loved the sense of community.  I loved sharing my silly life.  I loved sharing it all with the people I met who also loved blogging as much as I did.  I think after 7 years of blogging every day you realize just how much time and effort it takes to create, write, schedule and plan all your posts.  Not that my wee blog was particularly riveting or interesting.  I just enjoyed documenting stuff and sharing with others...

I still come here every so often to get some pictures I posted, or refer back to old posts or story I wrote.  I often remember and miss all the awesome people I met along the way with my wee blog.  Many have also given up blogging and moved on, some still blog but I've been away so long, I hardly know them anymore and have lost touch.

I may take it up again one day, when my kids are out of the house and I have nothing to do except share my memories.  Until then....blog on!

The Daft lassies - Megan (almost 14) and Kaylin (10) The wrinkly one on the end of ME

Megan

My Boerewors and The Daft Scots Lass

Megan now plays for on the Provincial Gauteng Cricket Team

Kaylin and her Penny-Pup

Me and my beautiful lassies

Grow Yer Mo and an Update

Hello everyone!

Oh I know its been a while....4 months to be exact, Plonkers.

My blogging has taken a back seat to real life for about a year now...

Being a full-time working mum of two very busy girls and a very busy social life, its hard to find time to blog every day.  I'm actually not sure how I did it for 7 years before that?  I guess you just make time - like everything else.  Well, during those 7 years I did get a little side tracked by the blogging community and so I wanted to take some time to refocus on what I really wanted to do and where I wanted to spend my time.  You can so easily get sucked into the blogging world and spending more time speaking to faces you've never met, than spending the time with the REAL people in your life.  By real people, I mean family and friends you see in real life on a regular basis.  I'm not saying that the blogging community are not REAL.  Not at all!  I'm just saying they are online relationships with awesome, real people that you've never met.

I am still quite a social media whore and I'm now on FB, Twitter and Instagram mostly.  Some of you have found me on Twitter and follow me there, some of you on Instagram.  My FB is mainly for family and very close friends.  I don't have hundreds of Friends that I post random shit to.  I use it mainly to keep in touch with family overseas and far away.  Kind of like my blog actually, thats why I started it all those years ago.



Something that has changed in my life, is that I've found a love for running, specifically trail running.  I've always been pretty active, going to gym and Pilates but I never thought running would become part of my life as previously it always came across as something really BORING.  Well, for me its time to think, time to put my favourite music on full blast in my ears and enjoy the alone time. 

So, its Movember Plonkers which means all those men here in South Africa are growing their facial hair to create awareness for men's health, specifically cancer but also things like depression in men and prostate health.  The aim is to Grow Yer Mo aka Moustache in showing support for these causes.

My Boerewors aka Hubby is taking part and is trying to raise money for the cause over HERE.  Go check him out and make a pledge.
 
Are you taking part in Movember?

So, how have you all been??  I'd love to hear from you. 

Leave a comment and say hello. 

I have noticed a lot of my previous follows are not blogging anymore either.  I really have to update my reading list....eeek!  lots of work to do to catch up with my blog. It's possible that I may be redesigning the look of the blog as I find it a little outdated.  It's not going to be over-night though, it will be gradual.

As Easy as Pie on The Braai

Are You Google? Because you're all I've been searching for.

From cavemen making suggestive remarks about mammoths to impress their she-folk, to Romeo wooing Juliet on her balcony, the pick up line has always been a useful tool in the seduction process. You may not be the toughest or the best-looking guy, but the right combination of words may well be the key to a woman’s heart. 

Yet tradition has led to cliché, and now the pick up line is sometimes seen as corny. Even so, whether your come-on is greeted with approval or skepticism, it’s still a great way to start a conversation. But with so many candidates, which line is the most famous of all?

25. “How YOU doin’?”
One of the newest lines on the list, and it’s all down to a fictional character. Joey from Friends was the heartthrob, so you might want to emulate his success with women. As character impressions go, this is a better choice than, say, Austin Powers.

24. “I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking you out.”

If you’re looking to sound both sleazy and intellectual, this may be the one for you. But don’t go so far as to produce and laminate an actual seduction library card. That’s going a little too far.

23. “Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. My jaw!”

This one requires a lot of confidence and depends on the delivery. You need to be understated, and not to sound too pleased with your “punchline”. Also, don’t do an actual jaw-drop. It will scare people and show those old fillings.

22. “You with all those curves! And me with no brakes!”

A real classic, though one to be careful with. A woman who’s sensitive about her weight may take it the wrong way.  Be careful of the back hand.

21. “Do you have any raisins? Well, then how about a date?”

This bold choice couldn’t be anything but a line. Just hope she doesn’t actually have any raisins, or you might get sidelined into the sexy and fascinating topic of comparing dried fruit.

20. “I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”

Although probably unlikely to yield direct results, this is still a great conversation starter. Though it may present a problem if the woman is Amish.

19. “You see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

This one is great - an indirect approach, and one that makes it clear you’re not on your own. But make sure you do actually have a friend with you, or you might come across as A Crazy Freak, rather than cute.

18. “Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”

A real gamble. This one is best attempted after you’ve had a few drinks. It could be taken badly, but if it’s not, you know you’re in for an interesting night.

17. “I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.”

Classy and informative. Not only does it work as a line, but it’s always useful to have a chick with First Aid skills.

16. “You know what would look great on you? Me.”

Lure them in with a question about fashion, and then crush their hopes (and possibly their body) with your follow-up. Probably a little too threatening, especially if you’re on the heavy side.

15. “Excuse me, but I’m new in town; can I have directions to your place?”

Play the innocent outsider and you may be able to attract a girl who’s looking to take care of you. But don’t use the line if you actually do live nearby or the whole plan will fall apart.

14. “Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mum and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.”

For the old-fashioned romantic. No one could object to this sweet approach, but they may question why you need a quarter when everyone has a cell phone. Hopefully she won’t be that pedantic.

13. “Do you have a map? Because I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.”

This one might be slightly too sweet. Also, make sure you’ve been talking for a while before using this line. Getting lost in the eyes of a stranger from across the room takes a creepy amount of concentration.

12. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

On the one hand you’re implying she’s an angel (good); on the other hand you’re implying that she’s a clumsy angel (not so good). You can modify this if you see a girl with an obvious (but not too serious) injury.

11. “What’s your sign?”

This will immediately work on one sort of person, but will immediately turn off the other. Assess your target before using this one. If she’s carrying wind chimes or wearing crystals, go for it.

10. “Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?”

Don’t try this one if you’re a) already at an airport, or b) suffering from severe chest pains. It would just get confusing.

9. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

Cute, but not grammatically correct. Of course, saying “I’d put U and me together” doesn’t make much sense in alphabetical terms, so just hope you’re not talking to a college graduate.

8. “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

Simple and effective. Using this line in a sauna will either ruin it or make it ten times better. There’s no way of knowing without trying it out.

7. “Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.”

This famous line must have worked at some point. Still, we’re not sure if you want to imply that a woman is looking tired, even if it’s part of a compliment.

6. “If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?”

We’re now entering the realm of the most famous of pick up lines. No one’s going to take this next one at face value, but it might be lame enough to break the ice.

5. “I didn’t know that angels could fly so low!”

This is probably too earnest to work in the 21^st century, but if you’re committed enough you might be able to pull it off. Don’t try it in a heavy metal bar, though. It could be taken as an insult.

4. “Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars and put them in your eyes.”

As conversation starters go, “Was your father a thief?” is about as good as you can get. We’re not sure whether having stars in your eyes would be a good thing in reality though. You’d probably get too hot.

3. “Do you come here often?”

The vanilla of pick up lines. Inoffensive, genuine and slightly boring. But anything this widespread must be successful.

2. “Where have you been all my life?”

One of the best lines of all, this makes you seem romantic and yet interested. It can lead you down so many conversational roads, it’s definitely a great way to say hello, especially if you’re not taking yourself too seriously.

1. “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”

The most famous of all pick up lines is patronising, dismissive and yet incredibly widespread. The majority of women will probably not appreciate being thought of as ‘nice’, so make sure to judge your target well, and lace the line with irony if necessary.

Go ahead, use one today.

Gastric Eyelash Surgery #OutOfYourComfortZone

A to Z Blog Challenge Theme Reveal Vloggy #atozchallenge

Go sign up for the A to Z Blog Challenge this April.


 

Sock Bun in the Oven

The Revenge of the Sock Bun.

Been there. Bun that. 

Okay, enough of the buns...erm puns....wanna know how to use a sock to make a beautiful bun in your hair?

 Booyah!

 

So You Think You Can Vlog?

Monday Music Moves Me - Chirstmas Month

Happy Monday and another week starts....and another month - The Christmas Month.

Have you got your Christmas decorations up yet?

Some of you may remember this one. This is a Christmas Vlog I did last year for Christmas

They don't call me daft for nothin'

Now pop over to Xmas Dolly, link up and share you favourite Christmas toonz.

   

Full Course Winner

You lovely Plonkers made me Happy as a Pig in Fish this week with all your comments.

Congratulations to 

Phil Holtberg

who is this week's winner of my Caption Competition.  

Phil, email me your mailing address to adaftlass@gmail.com and I will send you a wee something from South Africa. 

Here is what he wrote

"Still a better love story than Twilight!"

My 2013 A to Z Blog Challenge Reflections Post

I tried so many times to get this vlog right. How many times have a vlogged? Hundreds? How I couldn't get this simple Reflections Report Back post right is beyond me. 

I edited the crap outta it and it still doesn't make sense and, of course, way to many Fuck words.

Watch or don't.

Thanx to you lovely Plonkers for visiting and following my blog during the A to Z Blog Challenge. 

Don't forget to pop in on Tuesday for the relaunch of Caption My Freaky Photo Competition.

Have an brilliant weekend, my lovelies.

Z is for Zebadeed

So, Here We Are, my lovely Plonkers - The last day of the A to Z Blog Challenge.   

I actually can't believe its gone so quickly and that I made it without hard drugs or bursting a major fekkin blood vessel.

"Zebadeed"

Pronounciation : zeb-a-deed

Definition : High on drugs.

Usage : Big Tam wiz mad wi it last night, pur zebadeed it wiz brilliant.

Translation : I'm just back from my holidays in Jamaica. The beach was full of lazy niggers sitting under palm trees high on drugs and the hotel was full of fat Americans who would trample on kids just to get to the buffet.  I was keen not to be stereotyped like them so I put my kilt on and just sat at the bar for two weeks totally pissed.


There is no place in Scotland beginning with the letter Z but this is a fucking brilliant opportunity to allow me to play some Zeppelin. 

Rock On.

Y is for Yonks

"Yonks"

Pronounciation : yon-ks

Definition : n. An extremely long time.

Usage :  Ah huvnae seen ma maw fir yonks.  Remember yon time she lent me the two hunner quid?

Translation :  Whilst some of the material on here is topical and clever, there are far too many idiots with half a brain posting racist material. As a woman of Asian descent, some of these "jokes" offend me long time.

Yetholm is a village in the Scottish Borders region of Scotland, 8 miles south east of Kelso and less than 1 mile west of the border. The first mention is of its church in the 13th century. The Border Hotel public house is the official end of the Pennine Way. Kirk Yetholm was for centuries the headquarters of the Romani people (Gypsies) in Scotland. The last king of the Gypsies was crowned in 1898 and the Gypsies have been integrated and are no longer a separate ethnic minority. A memorial stone can be found on the village green.

Yetholm

The infamous and wickedly funny Rikki Fulton

X is for X-Burd

"X-Burd"

 Pronunciation : ex-burd

Definition : Scottish slang for ex-girlfriend.  A burd is your bird aka your girlfriend.  The girl you used to go out with.  An "ex" means you have broken up and are no longer dating.

Usage : 'Phwoar, you shudda seen  the chebs on ma ex-burd!  She was right fit!

Translation :  My ex-girlfriends boobs aren't small but they would be pointless without nipples

X-House aka Crosshouse is a village in East Ayrshire about 2 miles west of Kilmarnock. It grew around the cross-roads of the main Kilmarnock to Irvine road,  running from Kilmaurs south to Gatehead and beyond towards Prestwick. The Carmel Water, a tributary of the River Irvine, flows through the centre of the village.  The village is the location of a major hospital, Crosshouse Hospital, which was built to replace the Kilmarnock Infirmary.

X-House aka Crosshouse 

So I gave the guys something to drool over in this post, here's something for the girls (as promised).

W is for Wallies

"Wallies"

 Pronounciation : wa-lees

Definition :  Scottish slang for False Teeth.

Usage :  Ma gran sez ahl get granpaw’s wallies when he pegs-oot.

Translation :  My grammar sucks.  Specially when she's not got her false teeth in.

Wigtownshire or the County of Wigtown is a registration county in Galloway in the Southern Uplands of south west Scotland.  Home to Garthland Castle,  Castle of St. John and Wigtown Castle.  Torehousekie Stone Circle dates from the 2nd millennium BC, this is one of the best preserved sites in Britain. The circle is approx. 60 feet in diameter and comprises 19 stones up to 5 feet high.

Wigtownshire

V is for Vino Collapso

"Vino Collapso"

Pronunciation : veen-o-col-ap-so

Definition :  A term for the various makes of cheap wine aka Plonk.

Usage : Feksake, ma heid's nippin this moarnin, shoulda eased up oan the auld vino collapso doon the pub".

Translation :  Wine is sunlight, held together by water.  Whether wine is a nourishment, medicine or poison is a matter of dosage.

Vatersay is an inhabited island in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland. Vatersay is also the name of the only village on the island. The island has remains of an Iron Age broch at Dun a' Chaolais overlooking the Sound of Vatersay and nearby is a passage grave dated to the 3rd millennium BC. There is also a Bronze Age cemetery at Treasabhaig south of the heights of Theiseabhal Mòr and a cairn built circa 1000 BC west of the village of Vatersay.  The offshore islet of Biruaslum has a walled fort that may be of Neolithic provenance.

Vatersay Stone

U is for Up yer arse

"Up yer Arse"


Pronunciation : up-yer-ar-s

Definition : To tell another person that you don't agree with their opinion, usually a shouted response to an insult. Similar to up yours but a wee bitty stronger.

Usage: Geeza hon wi' ma bagpipes or I'll stick 'em up yer fucking arse.

Translation :  To all those women who watch the football and shout "pass it to Frank" or "bring Joe Cole on;" fuck off. You didn't see me at Sex And The City 2 shouting "fuck her up the arse."


Ullapool is a small town of around 1,300 inhabitants in Ross and Cromarty, Highland, Scotland. Despite its small size it is the largest settlement for many miles around and a major tourist destination of Scotland.  The harbour is still the edge of the village, used as a fishing port, yachting haven, and ferry port. Ferries sail to Stornoway in the Outer Hebrides. Ullapool has a strong reputation as a centre for music, the arts and performance.

Ullapool

T is for Tatties

"Tatties"

Pronounced : tat-ee pl. tat-eez

Definition : n. Plural form of tatty. Scottish word for potatoes.

Usage :  Hud on son, I’ll be wi ye as soon as I bree the tatties

Translation : If you are offended by any of the potato jokes present on this website, feel free to call the complaints line on 0800 1-potato 2-potato 3-potato 4.

Teangue is a beautiful wee fishing village on the Sleat peninsula, Isle of Skye, Highlands of Scotland. It is situated in Knock Bay on the west side of the Sound of Sleat. It is in the Scottish council area of Highland.  The home of pretty Knock Castle.

Teangue

 

 

My Tally