Thursday, 12 June 2014

Are You Google? Because you're all I've been searching for.


From cavemen making suggestive remarks about mammoths to impress their she-folk, to Romeo wooing Juliet on her balcony, the pick up line has always been a useful tool in the seduction process. You may not be the toughest or the best-looking guy, but the right combination of words may well be the key to a woman’s heart. 

Yet tradition has led to cliché, and now the pick up line is sometimes seen as corny. Even so, whether your come-on is greeted with approval or skepticism, it’s still a great way to start a conversation. But with so many candidates, which line is the most famous of all?

25. “How YOU doin’?”
One of the newest lines on the list, and it’s all down to a fictional character. Joey from Friends was the heartthrob, so you might want to emulate his success with women. As character impressions go, this is a better choice than, say, Austin Powers.

24. “I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking you out.”

If you’re looking to sound both sleazy and intellectual, this may be the one for you. But don’t go so far as to produce and laminate an actual seduction library card. That’s going a little too far.

23. “Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. My jaw!”

This one requires a lot of confidence and depends on the delivery. You need to be understated, and not to sound too pleased with your “punchline”. Also, don’t do an actual jaw-drop. It will scare people and show those old fillings.

22. “You with all those curves! And me with no brakes!”

A real classic, though one to be careful with. A woman who’s sensitive about her weight may take it the wrong way.  Be careful of the back hand.

21. “Do you have any raisins? Well, then how about a date?”

This bold choice couldn’t be anything but a line. Just hope she doesn’t actually have any raisins, or you might get sidelined into the sexy and fascinating topic of comparing dried fruit.

20. “I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”

Although probably unlikely to yield direct results, this is still a great conversation starter. Though it may present a problem if the woman is Amish.

19. “You see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

This one is great - an indirect approach, and one that makes it clear you’re not on your own. But make sure you do actually have a friend with you, or you might come across as A Crazy Freak, rather than cute.

18. “Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”

A real gamble. This one is best attempted after you’ve had a few drinks. It could be taken badly, but if it’s not, you know you’re in for an interesting night.

17. “I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.”

Classy and informative. Not only does it work as a line, but it’s always useful to have a chick with First Aid skills.

16. “You know what would look great on you? Me.”

Lure them in with a question about fashion, and then crush their hopes (and possibly their body) with your follow-up. Probably a little too threatening, especially if you’re on the heavy side.

15. “Excuse me, but I’m new in town; can I have directions to your place?”

Play the innocent outsider and you may be able to attract a girl who’s looking to take care of you. But don’t use the line if you actually do live nearby or the whole plan will fall apart.

14. “Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mum and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.”

For the old-fashioned romantic. No one could object to this sweet approach, but they may question why you need a quarter when everyone has a cell phone. Hopefully she won’t be that pedantic.

13. “Do you have a map? Because I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.”

This one might be slightly too sweet. Also, make sure you’ve been talking for a while before using this line. Getting lost in the eyes of a stranger from across the room takes a creepy amount of concentration.

12. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

On the one hand you’re implying she’s an angel (good); on the other hand you’re implying that she’s a clumsy angel (not so good). You can modify this if you see a girl with an obvious (but not too serious) injury.

11. “What’s your sign?”

This will immediately work on one sort of person, but will immediately turn off the other. Assess your target before using this one. If she’s carrying wind chimes or wearing crystals, go for it.

10. “Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?”

Don’t try this one if you’re a) already at an airport, or b) suffering from severe chest pains. It would just get confusing.

9. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

Cute, but not grammatically correct. Of course, saying “I’d put U and me together” doesn’t make much sense in alphabetical terms, so just hope you’re not talking to a college graduate.

8. “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

Simple and effective. Using this line in a sauna will either ruin it or make it ten times better. There’s no way of knowing without trying it out.

7. “Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.”

This famous line must have worked at some point. Still, we’re not sure if you want to imply that a woman is looking tired, even if it’s part of a compliment.

6. “If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?”

We’re now entering the realm of the most famous of pick up lines. No one’s going to take this next one at face value, but it might be lame enough to break the ice.

5. “I didn’t know that angels could fly so low!”

This is probably too earnest to work in the 21st century, but if you’re committed enough you might be able to pull it off. Don’t try it in a heavy metal bar, though. It could be taken as an insult.

4. “Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars and put them in your eyes.”

As conversation starters go, “Was your father a thief?” is about as good as you can get. We’re not sure whether having stars in your eyes would be a good thing in reality though. You’d probably get too hot.

3. “Do you come here often?”

The vanilla of pick up lines. Inoffensive, genuine and slightly boring. But anything this widespread must be successful.

2. “Where have you been all my life?”

One of the best lines of all, this makes you seem romantic and yet interested. It can lead you down so many conversational roads, it’s definitely a great way to say hello, especially if you’re not taking yourself too seriously.

1. “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”

The most famous of all pick up lines is patronising, dismissive and yet incredibly widespread. The majority of women will probably not appreciate being thought of as ‘nice’, so make sure to judge your target well, and lace the line with irony if necessary.

Go ahead, use one today.



2 comments:

Black Box Inc. said...

I haven't laughed this hard in a while... Love it!

The Glebe Blog said...

One that never really worked for me.
At an outdoor reception in the drinks marquee, I sidled up to a gorgeous burd sipping a Pimms and deep in thought.
"You're looking very pensive", I said. "Aye", she replied, "but mair pensive than you can afford" !.

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