Showing posts with label men vs women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men vs women. Show all posts

Thursday, 12 June 2014

Are You Google? Because you're all I've been searching for.


From cavemen making suggestive remarks about mammoths to impress their she-folk, to Romeo wooing Juliet on her balcony, the pick up line has always been a useful tool in the seduction process. You may not be the toughest or the best-looking guy, but the right combination of words may well be the key to a woman’s heart. 

Yet tradition has led to cliché, and now the pick up line is sometimes seen as corny. Even so, whether your come-on is greeted with approval or skepticism, it’s still a great way to start a conversation. But with so many candidates, which line is the most famous of all?

25. “How YOU doin’?”
One of the newest lines on the list, and it’s all down to a fictional character. Joey from Friends was the heartthrob, so you might want to emulate his success with women. As character impressions go, this is a better choice than, say, Austin Powers.

24. “I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking you out.”

If you’re looking to sound both sleazy and intellectual, this may be the one for you. But don’t go so far as to produce and laminate an actual seduction library card. That’s going a little too far.

23. “Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. My jaw!”

This one requires a lot of confidence and depends on the delivery. You need to be understated, and not to sound too pleased with your “punchline”. Also, don’t do an actual jaw-drop. It will scare people and show those old fillings.

22. “You with all those curves! And me with no brakes!”

A real classic, though one to be careful with. A woman who’s sensitive about her weight may take it the wrong way.  Be careful of the back hand.

21. “Do you have any raisins? Well, then how about a date?”

This bold choice couldn’t be anything but a line. Just hope she doesn’t actually have any raisins, or you might get sidelined into the sexy and fascinating topic of comparing dried fruit.

20. “I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”

Although probably unlikely to yield direct results, this is still a great conversation starter. Though it may present a problem if the woman is Amish.

19. “You see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

This one is great - an indirect approach, and one that makes it clear you’re not on your own. But make sure you do actually have a friend with you, or you might come across as A Crazy Freak, rather than cute.

18. “Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”

A real gamble. This one is best attempted after you’ve had a few drinks. It could be taken badly, but if it’s not, you know you’re in for an interesting night.

17. “I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.”

Classy and informative. Not only does it work as a line, but it’s always useful to have a chick with First Aid skills.

16. “You know what would look great on you? Me.”

Lure them in with a question about fashion, and then crush their hopes (and possibly their body) with your follow-up. Probably a little too threatening, especially if you’re on the heavy side.

15. “Excuse me, but I’m new in town; can I have directions to your place?”

Play the innocent outsider and you may be able to attract a girl who’s looking to take care of you. But don’t use the line if you actually do live nearby or the whole plan will fall apart.

14. “Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mum and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.”

For the old-fashioned romantic. No one could object to this sweet approach, but they may question why you need a quarter when everyone has a cell phone. Hopefully she won’t be that pedantic.

13. “Do you have a map? Because I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.”

This one might be slightly too sweet. Also, make sure you’ve been talking for a while before using this line. Getting lost in the eyes of a stranger from across the room takes a creepy amount of concentration.

12. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

On the one hand you’re implying she’s an angel (good); on the other hand you’re implying that she’s a clumsy angel (not so good). You can modify this if you see a girl with an obvious (but not too serious) injury.

11. “What’s your sign?”

This will immediately work on one sort of person, but will immediately turn off the other. Assess your target before using this one. If she’s carrying wind chimes or wearing crystals, go for it.

10. “Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?”

Don’t try this one if you’re a) already at an airport, or b) suffering from severe chest pains. It would just get confusing.

9. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

Cute, but not grammatically correct. Of course, saying “I’d put U and me together” doesn’t make much sense in alphabetical terms, so just hope you’re not talking to a college graduate.

8. “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

Simple and effective. Using this line in a sauna will either ruin it or make it ten times better. There’s no way of knowing without trying it out.

7. “Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.”

This famous line must have worked at some point. Still, we’re not sure if you want to imply that a woman is looking tired, even if it’s part of a compliment.

6. “If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?”

We’re now entering the realm of the most famous of pick up lines. No one’s going to take this next one at face value, but it might be lame enough to break the ice.

5. “I didn’t know that angels could fly so low!”

This is probably too earnest to work in the 21st century, but if you’re committed enough you might be able to pull it off. Don’t try it in a heavy metal bar, though. It could be taken as an insult.

4. “Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars and put them in your eyes.”

As conversation starters go, “Was your father a thief?” is about as good as you can get. We’re not sure whether having stars in your eyes would be a good thing in reality though. You’d probably get too hot.

3. “Do you come here often?”

The vanilla of pick up lines. Inoffensive, genuine and slightly boring. But anything this widespread must be successful.

2. “Where have you been all my life?”

One of the best lines of all, this makes you seem romantic and yet interested. It can lead you down so many conversational roads, it’s definitely a great way to say hello, especially if you’re not taking yourself too seriously.

1. “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”

The most famous of all pick up lines is patronising, dismissive and yet incredibly widespread. The majority of women will probably not appreciate being thought of as ‘nice’, so make sure to judge your target well, and lace the line with irony if necessary.

Go ahead, use one today.



Thursday, 9 August 2012

His and Hers on National Women's Day


Firstly, Happy National Women's Day to all the wonderful, beautiful mums and ladies out there. I hope you get super spoiled by your loved ones.






Secondly, I nicked this from ★Rockin Mama this week.

My Boerewors and I answered these questions separately and then combined them together in this post.  We were surprised at how similar some of our answers were.  I guess thats what happenes after 13 years of marriage.

What would you be happy doing for hours on end?

His: Fiddle with my computers
Hers:  Blogging

What is one thing you always disagree on as a couple?

His: What money should be spent on
Hers: Spending Money

What is one thing you always agree on?

His:  How we should bring our children up.
Hers: Boundaries for the Girls

What is your favourite Olympic event?

His: Not really a sports person but if I HAVE to choose one: Hurdles
Hers: Gymnastics

If you had the money to buy your significant other any one thing right now, what would you buy them?

His:  A holiday in the Maldives
Hers:  A Ford RS

Would you rather be blind or deaf?

His:  Deaf
Hers: Deaf

What is one thing you admire about your mother (or mother figure)?

His: How strong a person she is
Hers:  Her strength

What food do you HATE?

His:  Sea Food L *PUKE*
Hers:  Internal Organs

Who is your favourite superhero?

His: Would have to be Superman
Hers: Batman

What value or principle, if any, are you a true advocate for?

His :Don’t lie to me, makes me BEFOK!
Hers:  Women and Child Abuse

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

12 Things Men think Women know

Doing a survey to check my observations, here are the following twelve things men think women know:

1. Saturdays are made for sport, but not necessarily taking part in it. Being a supporter in front of the TV for four consecutive rugby matches is totally normal.  Salty snacks are mandatory.
2. Any joke about ‘farting’ is fucking hysterically funny.
3. Leaving suspicious ‘skid marks’ in their underwear is part of life and if they could they would get their partner to rate their "break marks" outta ten.
4. Pissing outside on the grass is much better than doing it the conventional way in a toilet.  And its especially entertaining when you can write your name in the snow or dirt.
5. When they are totally relaxed in front of the TV the best place for their dominant hand is right on the Crown Jewels (aka Al Bundy style).
6. In addition, if it itches it will scratched.
7. Undies are totally uncomfortable and will only be worn when strictly necessary, like going to work.
8. When inside the shower, the rock star inside every man awakens. Whether it is Pavarotti or Kurt Darren, you’re in for a show unless you’re lucky enough to have a sound-proof door which can be closed.
9. They are all closet ‘Grey's Anatomy’ fans but will never admit to it.  They think McSteamy is just as hot as they are.
10. They can ‘rev’ anything from a car to the electric toothbrush, the mixer, shaver or lawnmower.  Everything should be fitted with a turbo or super charger.   They'd probably make "Vroom Vroom" sounds when we're getting busy if they could get away with it.
11. Their whole diet can be prepared on an outside braai.
12. Men grouped together measure their seniority by the length of their dicks. Not sure yet how they know it, but I suppose it’s their special male sixth sense.

Blokes....am I right or am I right? 
Girls...can I hear a Whoooohooo?


Don't forget to enter My Vlog Competition!

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Can You Handle It? Why are Men Less Stressed than Women

Are men really less stressed than women?  Well, what else would you expect from such simple creatures? 

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't bleed for 5 days evey 28 days. 

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too fucking disgusting.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress R8000 vs Tux rental-R200.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. 

New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is R8.95 for a three-pack.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are less stressed...

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

He said She said

He said to me ........ I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it
I said to him ........ You wear pants don't you?

He said to me ................ Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said .. That's a good idea - you working in the kitchen while I sit on the couch and fart


He said to me...... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him ....... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me....... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him ....    They don't have time.

He said to me.... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him...... I don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good- looking?
I said to him...... They already have boyfriends.

He said.....What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said..... A widow.

He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him....... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

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