Doing a survey to check my observations, here are the following twelve things men think women know:
1. Saturdays are made for sport, but not necessarily taking part in it. Being a supporter in front of the TV for four consecutive rugby matches is totally normal. Salty snacks are mandatory.
2. Any joke about ‘farting’ is fucking hysterically funny.
3. Leaving suspicious ‘skid marks’ in their underwear is part of life and if they could they would get their partner to rate their "break marks" outta ten.
4. Pissing outside on the grass is much better than doing it the conventional way in a toilet. And its especially entertaining when you can write your name in the snow or dirt.
5. When they are totally relaxed in front of the TV the best place for their dominant hand is right on the Crown Jewels (aka Al Bundy style).
6. In addition, if it itches it will scratched.
7. Undies are totally uncomfortable and will only be worn when strictly necessary, like going to work.
8. When inside the shower, the rock star inside every man awakens. Whether it is Pavarotti or Kurt Darren, you’re in for a show unless you’re lucky enough to have a sound-proof door which can be closed.
9. They are all closet ‘Grey's Anatomy’ fans but will never admit to it. They think McSteamy is just as hot as they are.
10. They can ‘rev’ anything from a car to the electric toothbrush, the mixer, shaver or lawnmower. Everything should be fitted with a turbo or super charger. They'd probably make "Vroom Vroom" sounds when we're getting busy if they could get away with it.
11. Their whole diet can be prepared on an outside braai.
12. Men grouped together measure their seniority by the length of their dicks. Not sure yet how they know it, but I suppose it’s their special male sixth sense.
Blokes....am I right or am I right?
Girls...can I hear a Whoooohooo?
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