"Takkies" (pronounced tack–ees) has two different meanings a rubber-soled canvas sports shoe or a vehicle's tyre.
So you know that pair of gleaming white, Nike or Adidas running shoes that you don for that soccer game with friends? South Africans simply call them takkies. We keep them super white, enabling us to keep them for years on end.
Incidentally, they’re a rather popular piece of treasure for thieves. Forget your wallet stuffed with cash and credit cards. The tsotsis (thieves) will want your takkies first.
Usage : Check out the fat takkies on that motorbike!
Sies [pronounced, cease] is an Afrikaans Southafricanism meaning an exclamation of something disgusting and vile. Similar to "Yuk!" or "Phew" as a response to something vulgar said like "how could you?". The English South African version is "Sis", which means the same thing.
If it is directed at a person you use it to express your displeasure and disgust towards that person, which basically means "shame on you".
Usage : "Your feet stink like week-old rotting maggots. Sies!"
or
"Sis, your April Fools joke made John feel like shite!"
Gatvol (the g is pronounced like you are gargling ghhhh-aht-fall) in the same way as the "ch" in the Scottish "loch" or the German "achtung". A growl at the back of the throat.
Translated literally, this word means ”the hole
is full.” Used as a term of absolute frustration. One is gatvol when one has
had enough. The emphasis on the ”g” makes this word particularly effective. You
know that when someone is gatvol, well, that's the end of your bullshit... This South African word is such fun to say and its perfect when you're completely fed up and are ready to blow a gasket. A great word to say when you can't say "Fuck It!".
Usage : I have had it up to here! I am gatvol. If you don't tidy your room, you are grounded.
Day One of The A to Z Blog Challenge and we're finally here! I was late signing up this year (this is my fourth year doing the challenge) and so I am #1055 on the list A huge, South African welcome to all the old Plonkers and all the new visitors to my wee bloggy. My Theme for the A to Z Blog Challenge this year is SouthAfricanisms. So, sit back, relax and you just may be enlightened about South Africa and the jargon we speak. It is such a beautiful country, that has so much to offer and so many different cultures and quirks. We start with the Letter A... Ayoba [pronounced ah-yoh-ba] is a slang term used by South Africans to express amazement. Its is derived from other slang terms like "Ayeye" and "Ayoyoyo". It was originally meant as an approval or appreciation of good dancing, other the exact origins of the phrase are unknown.
"Ayoba" is thought to have roots in a Johannesburg township culture. It also became really popular during our hosting of the 2010 Soccer World Cup. Even a major cellphone network, MTN, snapped up the word and used it in all their television commercials. It is uniquely and proudly South African and expresses delight, excitement, agreement and approval. It's also used as a greeting. All-in-all a brilliant Southafricanism.
I'm taking part in the A to Z Blog Challenge this April and I have a theme thought out, I have began scheduling posts...not over-taking myself just yet.
So, Here We Are, my lovely Plonkers - The last day of the A to Z Blog Challenge. I actually can't believe its gone so quickly and that I made it without hard drugs or bursting a major fekkin blood vessel. "Zebadeed" Pronounciation : zeb-a-deed Definition : High on drugs. Usage : Big Tam wiz mad wi it last night, pur zebadeed it wiz brilliant.
Translation : I'm just back from my holidays in Jamaica. The beach was full of lazy
niggers sitting under palm trees high on drugs and the hotel was full of
fat Americans who would trample on kids just to get to the buffet.
I was keen not to be stereotyped like them so I put my kilt on and just sat at the bar for two weeks totally pissed. There is no place in Scotland beginning with the letter Z but this is a fucking brilliant opportunity to allow me to play some Zeppelin. Rock On.
"Yonks" Pronounciation : yon-ks Definition : n. An extremely long time. Usage : Ah huvnae seen ma maw fir yonks. Remember yon time she lent me the two hunner quid? Translation : Whilst some of the material on here is topical and clever, there are far
too many idiots with half a brain posting racist material. As a woman of
Asian descent, some of these "jokes" offend me long time.
Yetholm is a village in the Scottish Borders region of Scotland, 8 miles south east of Kelso and less than 1 mile west of the border. The first mention is of its church in the 13th century. The Border Hotel public house is the official end of the Pennine Way. Kirk Yetholm was for centuries the headquarters of the Romani people (Gypsies) in Scotland. The last king of the Gypsies was crowned in 1898 and the Gypsies have been integrated and are no longer a separate ethnic minority. A memorial stone can be found on the village green.
Definition : Scottish slang for ex-girlfriend. A burd is your bird aka your girlfriend. The girl you used to go out with. An "ex" means you have broken up and are no longer dating.
Usage : 'Phwoar, you shudda seen the chebs on ma ex-burd! She was right fit!
Translation : My ex-girlfriends boobs aren't small but they would be pointless without nipples
X-House aka Crosshouse is a village in East Ayrshire about 2 miles west of Kilmarnock. It grew around the cross-roads of the main Kilmarnock to Irvine road, running from Kilmaurs south to Gatehead and beyond towards Prestwick. The Carmel Water, a tributary of the River Irvine, flows through the centre of the village. The village is the location of a major hospital, Crosshouse Hospital, which was built to replace the Kilmarnock Infirmary.
X-House aka Crosshouse
So I gave the guys something to drool over in this post, here's something for the girls (as promised).
"Wallies" Pronounciation : wa-lees Definition : Scottish slang for False Teeth. Usage : Ma gran sez ahl get granpaw’s wallies when he pegs-oot.
Translation : My grammar sucks.
Specially when she's not got her false teeth in.
Wigtownshire or the County of Wigtown is a registration county in Galloway in the Southern Uplands of south west Scotland. Home to Garthland Castle, Castle of St. John and Wigtown Castle. Torehousekie Stone Circle dates from the 2nd millennium BC, this is one of the best preserved sites in Britain. The circle is approx. 60 feet in diameter and comprises 19 stones up to 5 feet high.
"Vino Collapso" Pronunciation : veen-o-col-ap-so Definition : A term for the various makes of cheap wine aka Plonk. Usage : Feksake, ma heid's nippin this moarnin, shoulda eased up oan the auld vino collapso doon the pub". Translation : Wine is sunlight, held together by water. Whether wine is a nourishment, medicine or poison is a matter of dosage.
Vatersay is an inhabited island in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland. Vatersay is also the name of the only village on the island. The island has remains of an Iron Age broch at Dun a' Chaolais overlooking the Sound of Vatersay and nearby is a passage grave dated to the 3rd millennium BC. There is also a Bronze Age cemetery at Treasabhaig south of the heights of Theiseabhal Mòr and a cairn built circa 1000 BC west of the village of Vatersay. The offshore islet of Biruaslum has a walled fort that may be of Neolithic provenance.
Pronunciation : up-yer-ar-s Definition : To tell another person that you don't agree with their opinion, usually a shouted response to an insult. Similar to up yours but a wee bitty stronger. Usage: Geeza hon wi' ma bagpipes or I'll stick 'em up yer fucking arse. Translation : To all those women who watch the football and shout "pass it to Frank"
or "bring Joe Cole on;" fuck off. You didn't see me at Sex And The City 2
shouting "fuck her up the arse."
Ullapool is a small town of around 1,300 inhabitants in Ross and Cromarty, Highland, Scotland. Despite its small size it is the largest settlement for many miles around and a major tourist destination of Scotland. The harbour is still the edge of the village, used as a fishing port, yachting haven, and ferry port. Ferries sail to Stornoway in the Outer Hebrides. Ullapool has a strong reputation as a centre for music, the arts and performance.
Definition : n. Plural form of tatty. Scottish word for potatoes.
Usage : Hud on son, I’ll be wi ye as soon as I bree the tatties
Translation : If you are offended by any of the potato jokes present on this
website, feel free to call the complaints line on 0800 1-potato 2-potato
3-potato 4. Teangue is a beautiful wee fishing village on the Sleat peninsula, Isle of Skye, Highlands of Scotland. It is situated in Knock Bay on the west side of the Sound of Sleat. It is in the Scottish council area of Highland. The home of pretty Knock Castle.
Definition: n. A rigid dressing, usually made of gauze and plaster of Paris, used to immobilise an injusred body part, as in a fracture or dislocations.
Usage : I'm gutted I cannae play fitba' fir six weeks cause of this fekkin' stookie.
Translation : If you break your ankle, save the bother of going to hospital by simply using your wank sock as a plaster cast.
Shetland
The place for the letter S today is Shetland, also called the Shetland Islands, is a subarctic archipelago of Scotland that lies north-east of mainland Britain.
Way back in the eighties during the British recession, my dad had to go away for months on end just to find work. One of those far away places that Dad went was The Shetland Islands. When he came back, it was brilliant to hear all the funny stories my dad today of stuffing Puffins down his sleeping colleagues' troozers. And now a short but interesting history of Shetland. Love the accents.
"Reek"
Pronunciation:
ree-k Definition:
adj. Smell, stink, to give off or emit a strong unpleasant odour Usage:
Lang may yer lum reek.
Translation: I'm trying to give up my two worst habits at the moment smoking and
masturbation, but I'm really struggling as I'm a 20-a-day man, and I
smoke like a chimney!
Origin: Auld ReekieThe Old Town of Edinburgh had open sewers and the stench was awful. Hence Auld Reekie - Old Smelly
Renfrewshire is one of 32 council areas of Scotland. Located in the west central Lowlands, it is one of three council areas contained within the boundaries of the historic county of Renfrewshire, the others being East Renfrewshire to the east and Inverclyde to the west. Home to some of the prettiest castles abd ruins including Belltrees Peel, Johnston Castle and Polnoon Castle
"Quine" Pronounciation: kwain Definition : used a fair bit back in certain parts of Aberdeen, it means “girl” or “lass” and not just young girls. Usage : “Hud on you! Are ye a loon or a quine?” Translation: Poor Caster, this would have never happened if he had just stuck to tennis. Origin : Old strong Doric speakers use quine to refer to auld grannies. The teeny wee village of Quarff is today's Scottish town.. Quartff is situated in the beautiful Shetland Islands in Scotland and is 5 miles south of Shetland's only town, Lerwick. Twenty-five years ago, Easter Quarff had 12 crofts and 28 houses; by 2004 there were over 70 dwellings. Wester Quarff, however, has remained fairly constant with thirteen dwellings in small clusters.
Quarff
Yip boring old Letter Q so I thought I'd throw in a bonus video to make your lips curl into an upside down rainbow.
"Peely Wally"
Pronounciation : pili-wali Definintion: Not looking well. Looking unhealthy; under the weather.
Sick, pale and pastey (that would probably include most of the fucking people from the UK, actually) Usage: Yer awfy peely-wally lookin the day, wis the polisman roon at your hoose?" Translation:All you need are colored eye contacts and you could be albino!
The teeny weeny Peebles is a burgh in the committee area of Tweeddale, in the Scottish Borders, lying on the River Tweed. According to the 2001 Census, the population was 8,159. Initially a market town, Peebles played a role in the woollen industry of the Scottish Borders up until the 1960s.
Definition : The oxter is the pairt o the human body richt unner the jient where the airm jiens the shouder. In other words, your armpit.
Usage : Feminist were totally psyched that I had oxster hair.
Translation : She's so hairy – when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.
Origin : Old English ōxta, related to eax ("axis, axle") and eaxl ("shoulder"). Orkney also known as the Orkney Islands, is an archipelago in northern Scotland, 16 kilometres north of the coast of Caithness. Orkney comprises approximately 70 islands of which 20 are inhabited. Stunning and the history of the place is that the name "Orkney" dates back to the 1st century BC or earlier, and the islands have been inhabited for at least 8,500 years. Originally occupied by Mesolithic and Neolithic tribes and then by the Picts, Orkney was invaded and forcibly annexed by Norway in 875 and settled by the Norse. It was subsequently annexed to the Scottish Crown in 1472, following the failed payment of a dowry for James III's bride, Margaret of Denmark.
This Plonker is truly the Best Oxster Farter, and the guy with the hockey mask just fuckin creeps me out, but yet I can't stop cackling like an old whore.
"Numpty" Pronounced : num-p-tee
Definition : n. idiot or fool. Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others. Usage : That fekkin' numpty's driving with nae lights on and couldnae organise a pissup in a brewery.
Translation : Men are good for 70 things, fixing things and 69. Origin : The origins of numpty are unclear. It may be an altered form of the word "numps", which dates back to the sixteenth century and also means "an idiot", but this is found mainly in English sources. The dazzling wee place in Scotland beginning with the letter N is Newport-on-Tay. Newport-on-Tay is a small town in the north east of Fife in Scotland, acting as a commuter suburb for Dundee. The Fife Coastal Path passes through Newport.
Hey beautiful Plonkers.....today's Scottish word is : "Humph"
Pronounced: hum-f
Definition: v.
the act of carrying something heavy or a heavy burden.
Usage: “Yer punishment and yer curse for dissin yer betters is tae humph yer in-law an her dug up iviry Corbett in the land. An think yersel lucky I dinnie mak it Munros anaw.
Translation : I do not believe for a second
weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down
again. To me, that's indecision.
And the gorgeous wee place in Scotland that I'm featuring is Hoy. Hoy is an island in Orkney, Scotland. With an area of 143 square kilometres it is the second largest in the archipelago after the Mainland. It is connected by a causeway called The Ayre to South Walls.
Hoy, Scotland
Quaint wee Hoy, hoi up in the Scottish Highlands. (Did I hear you groan?)
![[A Daft Scots Lass]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYP-LXznLAxNQmYRA4B21Z68ZHopoRtsq_GGpl3ODXniztaNsk4gld4FgwDU-Vh9qZQaqciSnhaa11JR7vzHKJZFuX9g7CwCsKJio7QIDrp7IkSfOObgY-2mdtA-Op_SHn1lwPWhucIzs/s910/banner22.jpg)
Sies [pronounced, cease] is an Afrikaans Southafricanism meaning an exclamation of something disgusting and vile. 
Day One of The A to Z Blog Challenge and we're finally here! I was late signing up this year (this is my fourth year doing the challenge) and so I am #1055 on the list
"Ayoba" is thought to have roots in a Johannesburg township culture. It also became really popular during our hosting of the 2010 Soccer World Cup. Even a major cellphone network, MTN, snapped up the word and used it in all their television commercials. 
Usage : 'Phwoar, you shudda seen the chebs on ma ex-burd! She was right fit!
Translation : If you are offended by any of the potato jokes present on this
website, feel free to call the complaints line on 0800 1-potato 2-potato
3-potato 4.
"Stookie"
Usage : I'm gutted I cannae play fitba' fir six weeks cause of this fekkin' stookie.
"Quine"
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