A to Z Blog Challenge Theme Reveal Vloggy #atozchallenge

Go sign up for the A to Z Blog Challenge this April.


 

Yes, But Can He Dance?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. 

I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet shoved a short-shafted broom up my arse and swept the floor while I complete all these tasks.

So You Think You Can Vlog?

So You Think You Can Vlog?

The Answers to all your burning questions...

Here they are...

 

10 Things That Are a Dead Giveaway You're Scottish

'Tis the Season to be Daft

So, the end of the world didn't happen. What an anti-climax, eh? Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-falafel

Christmas Vlog

This time last year I was busy vlogging up a storm.

I think I may do another Christmassy blog this year, just for shits and giggles.

So in the meantime here's last year's version of 12 Days of Christmas

So You Think You Can Vlog?

Vloggity Vlog Interrupted and Daily Blog Features.

Call Me Maybe

How to get to the Cheerleading Nationals

We took a 2½ hour drive to Orkney to support my best friends kids in the Cheerleading Nationals. 

It was great fun but fucking freezing!!!  The wind was howling but that didn't put us off.  Nothing that a hot chocolate couldn't fix.

Quaint wee shops along the way

"Flippen Lekker Kos", translated means Flippen Great Food! 

The Stadium and The SA Flag

Quad

Some of us wrapped up warm

Some of the couples stunts

Flap Props

Couples Stunts

Stunts

Prize Giving

So You Think You Can Vlog?

So You Think You Can Vlog?

Vlog Me Baby!

Vlogity Vlogin

A Daft Scots Lass Vlogs

BlogFestivus and the 12th Day of Christmas

One the 12th Day of Christmas my true love sent to me...

... Twelve Drummers Drumming.

Welcome to the final day of the 12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge, Plonkers! 

For the last day, I wanted to find something that comes in dozens - it was either eggs, or doughnuts. And because I craved jammy doughnuts when I was pregnant with Megan, and they come in dozens - so jam doughnuts it is!


What a BANGIN BlogFestivus is has been!  

Huge props go out to Blogdramedy for hosting the 12 Days of Christmas Blogfest. I've enjoyed it, thoroughly.  I've enjoyed how in the first few days it started as one thing, and landed up twisting into something completely whack-a-doodle!  I've enjoyed reading all the over participant's submissions and I must admit mine has been second rate compared to their talents.  

I've picked up some new Bloggers to follow from it and I can't wait to read more.

For your amusement, here is my daft, full version of 12 Days of Christmas.



"12 Jammy Doughnuts
11 Soccer Hotties
10 Seasons of Big Bang Theory
9 Inch Vibrating Dildo
8 Shots of Botox
7 Priceless Plonkers
6 Penguin Biscuits
5 Gigs of Porn
4 Liverpool Blokes
3 Brontë Sisters
2 Jimmy Choos
And Jamie Oliver’s Satay Chicken on a Stick"






Don't forget that we're back on track with Caption My Daft Photo Competition tomorrow.  I have a cracker for you beautiful Plonkers!

I murdered a House Plant Vlog

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

A Good Natter Aboot The Big Bang Theory

"On Ma Blog" performed by A Daft Scots Lass

Yesterday afternoon we decided to shoot and produce a wee family music video after listening to this song in the car we came up with the On Ma Blog fingers, like typing on a keyboard, and the idea was born! 

I laughed my fuckin' arse off watching this shite.

Daft personified!

Kids are the most desirable Monopoly players - easy to beat and fun to cheat.

Our wee family have had a four-day long weekend and we've had so much fun. Yesterday we went to the Dros for lunch with friends. The girls got to jump on the trampolines and jumping castle while we all sat and did some catching up. It was a lovely warm sunny afternoon in the sun and the food was good too.



Hubby, me and KK

Friends out to lunch

The jumping casle

Mandy's 6 eyes

My chocolate brownie with bobbies ice-cream

Mandy and Megan

BFFs

Mrs and Mr Daft Scots Lass

Besties!

Then we went to the park across the road from Mandy's place and we played on the jungle gym and the swings.  Even Ouma came with us and decided that her 75 year old body could still climb the jungle gym and had a go on the swings.  She said she hadn't had a go on the swings in decades!  Good for you Ouma!

75 year old Ouma assends the jungle gym

Movin on Up

At this point I told her to get down in case she fell.  Not bad going Oums

Mandy

Mandy and Megan

Kaylin on the Swings

Ouma on the Swings

You think you're cooler than me?

Ouma, Megan and Mandy

Mandy tries to go right over.

Ouma then shocked us by standing up on the swings!

Megan

A Daft Scots Lass

We then went back to Mandy's place, we hung out in the sun and then got a little silly.  This was Mandy's idea - the task was to wrap my legs around her waist and then bend backwards and grab her ankles and then she gets down and all fours and walk with me clinging to her like a turtle or something.  We had a bit of a giggle finding out that we were MUCH too fat and far too tipsy to get this right. 

But we all had fun trying.

Wraping my legs around Mandy

Falling off and knocking my head

Second attempt

The men tried!

I finally got it right with Megan!

There we go!

Remember to go enter my Caption Competition and win a bit of bling!!!