Showing posts with label plastic surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label plastic surgery. Show all posts

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Wrinkles are NOT a girl's best friend

I'm turning 40 in 6 months time and I've noticed quite a significant increase in my crows feet.


As we decline down the melancholy tunnel of aging, our skin loses moisture and elasticity, making it prone to wrinkles. Although dermatologists have many tools for tackling those little lines that mark the passage of time, perhaps the best and safest option is to protect your skin just as it is.


I'm thinking Botox and Fillers, Plonkers.


I will outline several ways you can help to prevent wrinkles from forming in the first place.


It's in the jeans...er genes
I'm blaming my dysfunctional genetics!  My family do not age gracefully.  It's true that some people age better than others. And while scientists are beginning to gain a deeper understanding of how genetics influence the aging process, they're also discovering how much your lifestyle choices can affect your genes. Your genes only govern 30% of how you age; the other 70% is up to you.


Here comes the Sun
As we age, our skin loses collagen and the ability to retain water. This makes it less capable of dealing with the harsh effects of direct sunlight. Wear a wide-brimmed hat in summer and ALWAYS wear sunblock on exposed skin.

Recent research, however, indicates that exposing your torso for short periods of time to the midday sun is an important factor in cancer prevention. The question is how to balance the danger of skin cancer against the positive absorption of vital vitamin D by the body through direct sunlight.

Eat, drink and slather on the antioxidants
When UV rays are absorbed by your skin, they create free radicals that cause wrinkles. Antioxidants help to defend your body against free radicals. Combat wrinkles with brightly coloured red, blue, purple, orange, and yellow fruits and vegetables.

Foods richest in antioxidants include all red and blue berries, pomegranates, dried red beans, and red or blue plums. To get the maximum benefits of antioxidants, eat these foods raw. Use natural or organic body creams or moisturizers containing these ingredients, and drink green tea.

Always wear your Sunnies
Not only will wearing sunglasses protect the delicate skin around your eyes from the sun, but it'll also help prevent frowning, which contributes directly to wrinkling.

Sleep on your back
Sleep on your back with a flat pillow to prevent sleep lines, which can eventually turn into wrinkles.

Stop smoking 
Heavy smokers are almost five times more likely to show excessive wrinkling than non-smokers. Smoking can damage collagen, and the frowning and lip pursing that comes with smoking directly creates wrinkles over time.

Control your facial expressions
More animated expressions mean more creases, and creases eventually become wrinkles. Don't stop smiling or laughing, however. A genuine smile causes crows' feet around your eyes but the power of sincere joy over wrinkles may be stronger than the effects of not smiling.

I'm thinking Botox and Fillers again.
Be happy
Being in a happy relationship and having an optimistic, laid back approach to life can help to prevent wrinkles. At the very least, being happy will help you to accept your wrinkles as a natural and normal sign of growing older!

See a doctor
This is more like it. Prescription retinoic acid can minimise the appearance of wrinkles, whilst horizontal forehead lines or crows' feet can be injected with botulinum toxin (botox). Deep wrinkles may need filler injections. Bear in mind, however, that invasive treatments frequently have negative side-effects.

And a HUGE Happy Birthday to my eldest.  Today she is nine years old and first day of Grade 3!  Sucks to have to start school on yer birthday!  Bummer.

Cake for breakfast.

Happy Birthday My Wee Button!

Thursday, 8 December 2011

BlogFestivus 8th Day of Christmas

For those of you who don't already know, I'm doing the 12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge hosted by Blogdramedy and we're on Day #8

All together now..

"On the 8th Day of Christmas my true love sent to me...


...8 Maids a Milking"


Now Plonkers, I don't do milk (not even in my beloved cuppa Vanilla tea) and I don't do maids, so I'd rather have 8 shots of Botox.  

This is actually a running joke (as opposed to a standing-still joke?)  between my hubby and I.  When my hubby asks me what I want for my birthday or anniversary or Christmas, I always say I want Botox and Fillers and he laughs at me!  

I am serious, demmit!  No jokes!

I'm incredibly pro plastic surgery, if it makes you feel better about yerself.  If I had my way, I'd shove and winkle myself to the front of the queue at The Extreme Makeover show.

After the Botox, I wouldn't mind some liposuction and a tummy tuck.  I'm serious! I'm not one of those women who want to age gracefully.  Usually it's the young and gorgeous that say that anyway.  I say, Fuck that, Bitches!  The technology is there - use it!   

Face lift for my Fiftith birthday, here we come (I guess I better start saving).

S-E-R-I-A-S, its really what I want for my next prezzie.  I shite you not. I'm not being sarcastic (for a change).

Anyone got some discount coupons for Dr 90210?

And so my 12 Days of Christmas Song resumes:

"8 shots of Botox
7 Priceless Plonkers
6 Penguin Biscuits
5 Gigs of Porn
4 Liverpool Blokes
3 Bronte Sisters
2 Jimmy Choos
And Jamie Oliver's Satay Chicken on a Stick"

Stick around until day #12 and you'll hear me sing the full song!

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Gross Google Image Search

Most of you Plonkers know that I’m a fan of freaky shit.  Yeah, all the disgusting things that others hate to look at - contortionists, swallowing swords, gory vehicle accident victims.  I hate to look but I can’t look away.  Urgh!  They make me feel sick!  But I dare not look away.  I can’t help it.  Anything that says “Not for the feint hearted” I just have to watch! 
 
I used to have a dedicated weekly post slot called Freaky Fridays because of my love for everything weird and whacky.  Well, here’s something to do if you’re bored at work.  Things which I’ve stumbled over on my Google Image Searches that will make yer toes curl and awaken yer gag reflex.  

I am rating them from 20 down to 1.

Ready?



18. Obese



15. Goiter













2.  Herpes

1.  Abortion
And a bonus search Smegma.
Now go eat yer lunch!  Or go watch 2 Girls 1 Cup!

Or Go and caption my newest Freaky Photo Competition #8

Thursday, 3 March 2011

I had plastic surgery...

...I cut up all my Credit Cards!

Day #4 of Liquid Diet

Yesterday's Smoothie
This one seems to be my favourite so far.  
It includes carrots, pineapple, mango, apple, banana and orange 
juice a couple of mint leaves and a handful of cashew nuts.
Today's Smoothie

Includes:  Spinach (you really don't even taste it but it looks fucking awful!), celery, mango, carrots, apples, banana, pineapple and cranberry juice, a handful of nuts and mint leaves.




don't you just LOVE the dog in the cartoons? He's forever peeping out with a worried look on his face.





I'm loving the slippers!

I know of few of these types





LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails