Wrinkles are NOT a girl's best friend

I'm turning 40 in 6 months time and I've noticed quite a significant increase in my crows feet.


As we decline down the melancholy tunnel of aging, our skin loses moisture and elasticity, making it prone to wrinkles. Although dermatologists have many tools for tackling those little lines that mark the passage of time, perhaps the best and safest option is to protect your skin just as it is.

I'm thinking Botox and Fillers, Plonkers.

I will outline several ways you can help to prevent wrinkles from forming in the first place.


It's in the jeans...er genes
I'm blaming my dysfunctional genetics!  My family do not age gracefully.  It's true that some people age better than others. And while scientists are beginning to gain a deeper understanding of how genetics influence the aging process, they're also discovering how much your lifestyle choices can affect your genes. Your genes only govern 30% of how you age; the other 70% is up to you.


Here comes the Sun
As we age, our skin loses collagen and the ability to retain water. This makes it less capable of dealing with the harsh effects of direct sunlight. Wear a wide-brimmed hat in summer and ALWAYS wear sunblock on exposed skin.

Recent research, however, indicates that exposing your torso for short periods of time to the midday sun is an important factor in cancer prevention. The question is how to balance the danger of skin cancer against the positive absorption of vital vitamin D by the body through direct sunlight.

Eat, drink and slather on the antioxidants

When UV rays are absorbed by your skin, they create free radicals that cause wrinkles. Antioxidants help to defend your body against free radicals. Combat wrinkles with brightly coloured red, blue, purple, orange, and yellow fruits and vegetables.

Foods richest in antioxidants include all red and blue berries, pomegranates, dried red beans, and red or blue plums. To get the maximum benefits of antioxidants, eat these foods raw. Use natural or organic body creams or moisturizers containing these ingredients, and drink green tea.

Always wear your Sunnies

Not only will wearing sunglasses protect the delicate skin around your eyes from the sun, but it'll also help prevent frowning, which contributes directly to wrinkling.

Sleep on your back

Sleep on your back with a flat pillow to prevent sleep lines, which can eventually turn into wrinkles.

Stop smoking 

Heavy smokers are almost five times more likely to show excessive wrinkling than non-smokers. Smoking can damage collagen, and the frowning and lip pursing that comes with smoking directly creates wrinkles over time.

Control your facial expressions

More animated expressions mean more creases, and creases eventually become wrinkles. Don't stop smiling or laughing, however. A genuine smile causes crows' feet around your eyes but the power of sincere joy over wrinkles may be stronger than the effects of not smiling.

I'm thinking Botox and Fillers again.

Be happy

Being in a happy relationship and having an optimistic, laid back approach to life can help to prevent wrinkles. At the very least, being happy will help you to accept your wrinkles as a natural and normal sign of growing older!

See a doctor

This is more like it. Prescription retinoic acid can minimise the appearance of wrinkles, whilst horizontal forehead lines or crows' feet can be injected with botulinum toxin (botox). Deep wrinkles may need filler injections. Bear in mind, however, that invasive treatments frequently have negative side-effects.

And a HUGE Happy Birthday to my eldest.  Today she is nine years old and first day of Grade 3!  Sucks to have to start school on yer birthday!  Bummer.

Cake for breakfast.

Happy Birthday My Wee Button!

BlogFestivus 8th Day of Christmas

For those of you who don't already know, I'm doing the 12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge hosted by Blogdramedy and we're on Day #8

All together now..

"On the 8th Day of Christmas my true love sent to me...


...8 Maids a Milking"

Now Plonkers, I don't do milk (not even in my beloved cuppa Vanilla tea) and I don't do maids, so I'd rather have 8 shots of Botox.  

This is actually a running joke (as opposed to a standing-still joke?)  between my hubby and I.  When my hubby asks me what I want for my birthday or anniversary or Christmas, I always say I want Botox and Fillers and he laughs at me!  

I am serious, demmit!  No jokes!

I'm incredibly pro plastic surgery, if it makes you feel better about yerself.  If I had my way, I'd shove and winkle myself to the front of the queue at The Extreme Makeover show.

After the Botox, I wouldn't mind some liposuction and a tummy tuck.  I'm serious! I'm not one of those women who want to age gracefully.  Usually it's the young and gorgeous that say that anyway.  I say, Fuck that, Bitches!  The technology is there - use it!   

Face lift for my Fiftith birthday, here we come (I guess I better start saving).

S-E-R-I-A-S, its really what I want for my next prezzie.  I shite you not. I'm not being sarcastic (for a change).

Anyone got some discount coupons for Dr 90210?

And so my 12 Days of Christmas Song resumes:

"8 shots of Botox
7 Priceless Plonkers
6 Penguin Biscuits
5 Gigs of Porn
4 Liverpool Blokes
3 Bronte Sisters
2 Jimmy Choos
And Jamie Oliver's Satay Chicken on a Stick"

Stick around until day #12 and you'll hear me sing the full song!

Are you a Fashion Whore?

Thanks to the popular chick flick “Confessions of a Shopaholic” we are all fully aware of the danger of escaping reality with some retail therapy only to suffer heart-failure when the credit card bills roll in.

We are at the mercy of shrewd marketers who inundate us on pay day with glossy advertisements for 'must-have' shoes, clothes and handbags. We are all, at times, guilty of paging through magazines and web pages before setting off to the mall with single-minded intent. And we don’t really need a fucking thing!

We toss out perfectly good clothes because suddenly they are “so last season” that we wouldn’t be seen dead in them.

We are slaves to cunning retailers and marketers who turn our every want into an absolute need.  We toss out or give away boxes full of make up, skin and hair products to replace them with products so far superior that we would be doing ourselves a gross injustice if we did not upgrade.
Suddenly we wouldn’t dream of applying a moisturiser containing anything less than SPF 15 and collagen.  We spot a wrinkle in the corner of an eye and immediately invest in an expensive eye cream that claims to work as well as Botox.  There isn’t one, Bitches!

When it comes to pharmaceutical products, you may not even realise it but you could be as addicted as a bloody drug addict.  Many of us buy into the idea of pill-popping as the solution, no matter what the problem.  It’s so much easier...  

As with the “must-haves” in the clothing, toiletry and cosmetic stores, we are being suckered by very sneaky marketing and advertising into thinking that we need so many pills! Vitamin supplements are a “necessity” these days because our diet is so poor being a busy working mums.  We think popping the latest and greatest vitamin will cover us for that.

We may not actually be addicted to drugs, but it seems we are addicted to spending our hard-earned cash on items which the scheming marketers make us believe we can’t live without, but which we don’t really need.

I am not suggesting that you give up your calcium supplement and get osteoporosis, or that you put on your big-girl knickers and just live with a migraine, or even that you give up your multivitamin if it makes you feel better.

I am suggesting that you think about what pills you really, really need and do you truly need the expensive branded ones that all the chemist skanks try and fob off on you?  You could probably get them dirt-cheap in a brown paper bag at the dispensary at a fraction of the price.

Maybe we would be kinder to ourselves, our bodies and our purses if we invested in healthy, organic, seasonal foods, went out and bought a good pair of running shoes and started exercising regularly.  

We would almost certainly be much healthier and save ourselves a fucking fortune - which we could then spend on regular holidays to the seaside to reduce our stress levels instead of taking yet more drugs and supplements.

Just don’t be tempted to spend that extra cash on a shopaholic binge at the mall, resulting in financial stress which will have to be cured by popping handfuls of Prozac!

Cherio 2009!

So Long, Farewell..

2009 was a good year all-in-all.

Well, it certainly has been eventfull!!

Yes, we had a major recession which took a toll on our strict budget, I didn't get an increase at work or a bonus because our company has been trying to keep their head above the water.  Nevertheless, its been jam-packed full of drama and fun.  Here's just some of the stuff:

I became an aunty of a beautiful niece. 

My Best Friend and I got our matching Friendship Tattoos.

I realised that life is too short for materialism, arguments, drama, nonsense things.

I started tracing my family ancestry and did a family tree going back to the late 1600's.

I voted in the 2009 General Elections and stood in the queue for an hour to make a cross on a piece of paper which made no fucking difference.

I had a seriously hair raising experience in our haunted tent.  I will NOT sleep in it ever again.  Tent For Sale - Going Cheap - Make me an offer!  Any offer.

We started organising our adventure-packaged December 2010 Road Trip Tour including jacuzzi safari, sleeping in tree houses in the bush and bunjee jumping.

Our awesome Family Holiday to the sea-side was unforgettable.  I realised even though my mum and mad dad live far away I still miss my Mum everday!

I realised that I can't get away with saying that I'm 29 till I die...the wrinkles and droppy body parts are tell-tale signs that I'm fibbing.

I want to skip Winter 2010.  The cold months SUCK big time!

You can't put a price on Funny Evenings at Home.

I am saving for Botox.

Thoroughly enjoyed doing my bit for a few charities this year and will continue in 2010.

I got a black eye playing Ring-A-Rosie and then I fell down.

I learned that you need to verbalise your feelings and let things out into the big wide world.

Dance moves me.  It stirs many emotions within me.  Perhaps its why I'm addicted to SYTYCD.

I absolutely LIVE for Convesations with my Children.

I'm a Bloggoholic

There are plenty more than 15 things that woman can do that men can't.

To my Visitors and Fine Followers:

Happy Hogmanay and All the VERY BEST for 2010.