Walmartians

I've always loved Walmart Peeps...

They make me smile.

I hope they make you smile too, Plonkers

Don't forget to Caption my Photo

Puppeteer in Flip Flops

Front Tie and Rugby socks is such a fashion-trendy touch

Seen my skirty, anyone?

Downloading Thinking Crack App

Walmartian Trial Balance

How much Saturated fat ?

It ain't over until Fat Woman sings.

Krusty the Clown negotiates child prices

What Tramp Stamp?

Pink Panther and Pals

Dark Side of the Rainbow

Deleting Cookies

Does my bum look fat in this?

Put your Rolls out of joint

Underwear But Here

A Brain Fart, Wee Penny and a Conversation with a 6 year old

Yesterday, I thought I was having a  fucking stroke. 

No, seriously.  I literally felt very odd indeed. 

 I  had the strangest symptoms and I still can’t explain the full extent of what I was going through. 

About an hour after getting back from gym, my vision started blurring in the middle and then it was like tunnel vision – it was the weirdest thing -  whenever I looked directly at something, it  seemed to disappear.  I couldn’t see the words on my computer screen.  That lasted for about 15 to 20 minutes.  After that, my fingers and hands started to go numb and whatever I touched with my hands went numb.  Strange.  I then got pins and needles in my hands. 

After that, I tried so hard to read the words on my computer screen.  My brain told me that I knew the words but I couldn’t for the life of me makes sense of just ONE word let alone a sentence.  I knew that I  should be able to make sense of the symbols on the page.  I tried to spell a few words out loud and couldn't do it.  I couldn't understand it and so I couldn't say it.  I was a little freaked out by this.  I just figured I was tired perhaps just was loosing my focus.  I tried to blink, refocus and start again. Same thing.  This lasted for what seems about 15 minutes.  I'm not sure how long it was in actual time though.  I was so disoriented.

I just couldn’t concentrate hard enough to make sense of the words or say them out loud.  I couldn’t pronounce anything and my speech was slurred and I was having trouble expressing myself in words.

I just stayed in my office for most of the afternoon.  I was NOT myself.  The more I tried to read words and make sense of it the more frustrated I got.  I had a slight headache when I told my hubby that night who said I still wasn't myself all night.  I prayed before I went to bed.  I prayed that if I had another stroke in my sleep, that God needed to help R with the girls in the morning.

This is not the first time this has happened to me either.  I just didn’t talk about it before because, well, how do you go to the doctor and tell him these crazy symptoms??  How do you tell anyone?  I figured I better tell my husband in case I died in my sleep from a frikken aneurism or something.

What does it sound like to you, Plonkers?

and now that you Plonkers have had some drama for the day, let me introduce our new wee pup.

Meet Penny our wee Jack Russell

Penny

Megan and Penny

Here's a conversations that I had with Kaylin (my 6 year old) the night before last.

KK: Mum, do The Police put you in jail for saying ugly words?

Me: No Kaylin.  You have to do a serious offence to be put in jail.

KK: They put the handcuffs on and close the bars, hey?

Me:  Yes.

KK:  Do you stay there forever?

Me:  It depends on what you’ve done.

KK thinking:  You just have to be nice to The Police and they’ll let you out, hey?

Me:  Its not quite that easy, my sweetie. What do you mean be nice to them?

KK:  Well, you can just give them a big squeezy hug and kiss and tell them you’re very sorry and they’ll let you out.

Me:  No, it doesn’t work like that. *explains*  What do you think you get to eat in jail?

KK: Spiders and vegetables and Germs!

Me: That sounds awful!

KK:  Yes and you only get to see your family if you’re really quiet and good.

Me:  How does that work?

KK: The girls make a line and the boys don’t get to see their family because they always make a noise.

Me:  What else happens in jail?

KK:  Well, there is only one bath so you have to line up and take turns.

Me:  Gee, do you think you have to wait long?

KK: No, The Police make sure you don’t play with toys in the bath.

Me trying not to giggle, and then?

KK: The boys have to wear handcuffs but The Police come with your toothbrush and toothpaste and take it off before they have to go bath and brush your teeth.

Me: WOW they’re strict!

KK: After the bath, you get to watch a little TV before you have to go to bed., if you’re good.

Me:  Really? 

KK:  You don’t get to see flowers or trees in jail because it’s just bars and your bed.

Me:   That’s such a shame.

KK:  The boys get Ben 10 on their walls and the girls get Barbie.

Me:  Nice..

KK:  No!

Me: Why?

KK: Because you don’t get to see your family everyday and you don’t get a Key!

Priceless.

I had plastic surgery...

...I cut up all my Credit Cards!

Day #4 of Liquid Diet

Yesterday's Smoothie

This one seems to be my favourite so far.  

It includes carrots, pineapple, mango, apple, banana and orange 

juice a couple of mint leaves and a handful of cashew nuts.

Today's Smoothie

Includes:  Spinach (you really don't even taste it but it looks fucking awful!), celery, mango, carrots, apples, banana, pineapple and cranberry juice, a handful of nuts and mint leaves.

don't you just LOVE the dog in the cartoons?

 H

e's forever peeping out with a worried look on his face.

I'm loving the slippers!

I know of few of these types

Toozday Giggle

Been so busy at work lately, I haven't had time to blog properly.  Promise I'll be back soon with some juicy posts...in the mean time here is something to keep ye smilin'...

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

Practise safe eating - always use condiments.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

He used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumour.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in colour, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tyred.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

The calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Cyanide and Happiness