Sex is like air. It's not important until you aren't getting any.

This is a re-post of a very old post that I drafted a couple days after I posted it.  I'm not sure why I drafted it so here it is again.

Are you ready to juice things up a little?  Are you an ‘aeroplane blonde’? Are you a fan of the ‘sixty-niner’? If these and other terms have mystified you, here’s a quick guide to the funny world of sexual slang.....

Booty call - a late night summons, often made via telephone, to arrange clandestine sexual liaisons on an ad hoc basis.

AC/DC - bisexual.

Dogging - having or observing exhibitionist sex in a public place, usually outdoors.

Sixty Niner - simultaneous oral sex with your partner, so called as the digits.  69 are a graphic representation of this configuration.

Around the world - the act of kissing your partner’s entire body as a prelude to nooky.


Back door - another term for butt, bum or backside; going in the ‘back door’ aka bottom sex.


Bagging it - wearing a condom during intercourse, as opposed to ...


Barebacking - unprotected sex.


Finger - to stimulate a woman’s genitals using the fingers.


Wet dream - an erotic dream that leads to ejaculation during sleep.


Necking - Making out involving heavy kissing of the neck or petting of that area.


Muff diving - giving a woman oral sex.


Load - semen or ejaculate (as in, to shoot one’s load).  The Money Shot.


Blue balls - an uncomfortable experience for a man who desperately needs to experience an orgasm but finds no relief.


Blow job/giving head - the act of giving a man fellatio or oral sex.


Hand job - stimulating a partner manually to orgasm.  Two bob for a hand job?


Shag - to have sexual intercourse.


Family jewels - his testicles.


Golden shower - urinating on a partner as part of sex play.


Jail bait - a sex partner who is under the age of 18.


S/M or S and M - sadism and masochism. Getting sexual pleasure from consensual sex
power play that involves either inflicting pain on a person or experiencing pain oneself.


Rimming - stimulating the anus externally with a tongue.

Swinging - arranging to have sex with other couples, either one-on-one or group sex.

Frottage - When two people rub their bodies together for sexual pleasure; also known as dry humping.

Aeroplane blonde - a woman with bleached blonde hair but who still has a wee ‘black box’ down under.

Marinate the Nether Rod in the Squish Mitten by Dirty Sanchez

Some of my pals have some pretty Whackadoodle names for gettin' yer hump on.  Here are some of them that made me laff.  I hope they do the same for you:

• Doing The Deed
• Hammer Time
• Bumping Uglies
• Nookie
• Going for a Tumble
• Getting Jiggy Wif It
• Doin' the Nasty
• Making Whoopie
• Riding The Old Long Donkey
• Hide The Salami
• Dippin Yer Wick
• Booty Call
• Gettin' Some
• Fool Around
• Kwikkie
• Shagging
• Hiding the One-Eyed Snake
• Bonk
• Rumpy Pumpy
• Bamchickawaawaa
• Bump 'n Grind
• Couch Rugby
• Batter Dip the Cranny Ax in the gut locker  
• Kanoodling
• Humping
• Tasting the Nectar
• Hokey Pokey
• Horizontal Mamba
• Makin' Bacon
• Kill Some Time
• Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten
• Jangle Tangle
• Chachiiiiiing!
• Clean the Pipes
• Rock 'n Roll
• Slap 'n Tickle
• Burying the Boner
• Roll in the Hay
• Power drill the yippe bog with the Dude Piston
• The Hairy Knock-Knock

What do you call it?

Come back tomorrow for my Birthday Vlog!

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