Monday, 28 December 2009

Mutha of Meltdowns

Today was My Boerewors' first day back at work after being at home with us for two weeks. It all started off pretty normal and okay until we drove to the shops to do Megan's last bit of shopping for her back-to-school stationery.

When we got to the Mall, Kaylin (my three year old) spotted the "car" trolleys (similar to the one in this picture) and immediately got soopa excited and bolted towards them.  Unfortunatelywhen I eventually caught up with her I realised that they were still all chained together and no one in sight to help us get one free.  I told her we'd have to go and get a regular trolley in the meantime.

This set Kaylin into her Mutha of All Tantrums

I have NEVER seen her so destraught, angry, sad and frustrated.   This was the biggest wobble she as ever thrown!!  She started screaming at FULL volume (like her fingernails were being ripped out with a rusty pair of pliers), kicking like a grumpy mule and sobbing and stamping all at the same time.  At first I just stared at her - totally shocked at her over-reacting to the situation.  It was liked someone flicked a switch.

She was livid!

I could see she'd stepped into her "black zone" and there was no turning back or reasoning with her. In her rage I tried to smack her and landed up whacking my finger against her shoe and I now have a swollen and purple finger (serves me right for loosing it with her and falling for her winding me up). 

I immediately took her back to the car which made the tantrum increase because she now thought I was going to take her home (Kaylin loves shopping and going to the mall) when in actual fact I just wanted to get her to calm herself down.  Her face was turning from pink to red.

We sat in the car for a good ten minutes before she actually caught her breath and listened to the fact that if she didn't stop we weren't going into the shops. Eventually when she did pull herself towards herself, Megan whispered to me "Mummy I've never heard her scream THAT loud!".

Well neither had I!!

My ears were bleeding, my nerves shattered and my energy was instantly depleted.  I didn't want her to win though, so I gave Megan all my attention because the shopping trip was for her benefit after all.  I plonked Kaylin in a regular trolley and Megan and I walked hand in hand behind the trolley chatting about what we were going to buy.  Soon Kaylin realised that she wasn't getting any attention having a fat lip and sulking.

In the end we got everything done without a glitch.  Megan and I laughed and joked and fooled around while silent huffy Kaylin was pretty much ignored until she asked me for something. 

Sometimes playing deaf works the best.

What do you do when your little monster throws the mutha of all tantrums??


Blasé said...

Smacking her shoe doesn't work...smacking her butt would have! A spanking to the butt is very humane and usually works if done correctly, while in control of your emotions. No immediate consequences will teach children that it is ok to misbehave.

It is easy to 'ignore', than to take responsibility and discipline the child...imediately. A parent's responsiblity is never to ignore, tough love is the answer.

You didn't want to read this, did you?

Blasé said...

oh yeah...

Children only do what they are allowed to do. She continued to throw the temper tantrum because she was allowed to.

She didn't stop because you and her sister ignored her, she stopped because she got tired of misbehaving (it was on HER terms, not yours)

I bet you really don't like me now!

Gillian said...

I did smack her initially and it made her worse. You have to remember she's an Aspies Child. Totally different responses... Usually a sharp smack on the arse has her in line. Not today!

and you're right...I didn't want to hear tough love is the answer. Seeing my three year old with a black eye would break my heart :-P

Its always a power struggle with her and I.

Blasé said...

obviously I'm off work, today :D

Too bad Daddy couldn't go shopping with y'all! Fathers (unless their a wimp) tend to gain respect quicker with the kids, than from the mothers.

Perhaps if you have a talk with her and make sure she knows that the next time 'it happens'...she will be restricted from such and such?? and then stick by it!

YOU are too funny...beautiful, but funny!

Momza said...

I think I handle tantrums in public much the same. I get down on the child's level and speak to them calmly and firmly. I probably would've tried to explain the facts of the situation and then ASK the child what he/she thinks needs to happen. Allowing them to help solve the problem, if possible.
And if that didn't work, we'd probably leave, like you did. Way to keep your cool, Mom!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

All I know is that kids are unpredictable. You gotta do what's best for you and your little darlings. I'm so glad mine are older. I rarely have to deal with tantrums anymore but if teenage drama us a real bummer. I found their "currency" and threatened to take it (games, TV time, whatever, it was different for each one of them) away for behavior that was unacceptable (IMO), for example.
Best of luck and hugs!!

KK said...

Thank you. I was just feeling tempted to be sad I have no kids at Christmas :) I'm going to enjoy the silence and think about being sad tomorrow!

The Peach Tart said...

I feel for you honey.


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