I'm sure there will be many funnier than mine, but the first thing that comes to mind - I hate you.
"Stupid human. I know where you sleep."
rotflol ... poor kitty ... looks like he wound up in a bottle of tequila.
You heard of divine retribution? I can wait........!!
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"honey, when you said you had a wet pussy, this isn't quite what I expected," said the disappointed and naked husband with a hard on walking over to his wife...
You frikkin douche and your frikken douches. It's the hamster next time.
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