Thursday, 5 November 2015

My Top 10 Tips for Shopping with a Tomboy Teenie

Yesterday I took my oldest daughter who is 12 going on 30 shopping for swimwear.  She has been invited to a party on Saturday and obviously wanted a few nice new things to wear.   

Firstly, I have to let you know that its extremely difficult for shopping for Megan, as she's been a devoted tomboy all her life. Let me paint a quick picture for you:  Meg loves dirt bikes and beat-boxing, being cricket Captain, playing football with the boys and adventure sports.  She loves Grand Theft Auto and surfing YouTube for entertaining gamers to watch and texting on her phone. 

Meg very fussy about colours and style of clothing.  It's only been in the last year has she ventured into the ladies and girl's sections at the clothing stores.  I actually suggested that she try denim shorts this season and it worked!   Shopping is a whole new world for her and she has no clue!  In fact, its a whole new world for me too, as I'm used to going straight to the boys section or the action-wear section, pulling something off the rack, taking it home and hoping she'll like it.

I'm usually more often wrong that right now that she's a Teenie, and I spend my life returning things and swapping things because she DETESTS shopping and coming to the shops with me. She'll wear her shoes until they have holes in, she'll wear the same pair of worn-out shorts even if they are ripped, you get the picture...

So here are my Top 10 Tips for Shopping with a Tomboy Teenie 

Make a List - Stay Focused

Have a list of things that you are going for and stick to it.  Don't deviate from the plan.  It is so easy to get distracted at the shops.  These places are set up to pull you in directions you don't want to go. Marketing to the Tweenies is massive and they have been targeted with messages plastered all over the media telling them what is cool and trendy.  Don't be sucked in.

Fly under the Radar

Your girl does NOT want to be seen shopping with her old crusty Mum.  This is embarrassing for her and let her hide if she spots any other Teenies shopping with their parents, and God forbid, you spot anyone she actually knows.........just pretend not to even know her if she gets that panic look on her face. 

Bling is Evil

Don't even try to go into the accessories section.  Anything with bling is the devil and anything with frills it just Fugly.  My Megan will not wear anything that even has a teeny weeny bow, or hearts or glitter attached.  That shit will be cut off as quick as you can say Dirt Bike.

Be Mute

Keep your "old fashioned" opinions to yourself and do NOT make any comments about her body parts, especially her growing CHESTICLES and or "cute round bum".  You WILL be rewarded with rolling eyes and clicks of her tongue.  You are NOT cool!  Keep your lips tightly sealed.

Brand Names

Brand Names are always in high demand with the pre-teens.  Their philosophy is - If my friends are wearing it, I want to wear it.  Just know it will cost you the same as buying a small island with no gain or reward.  Try and look for the brand sales if they are adamant. Don't be bullied into buying a R2000 pair of takkies because they have a swoosh on the side and make your tomboy grin like a Cheshire cat and produce puppy-dog eyes.

Don't Bargain

Just let them wear what makes them comfortable.  Don't try and comprise by saying you can wear your ripped jeans, but you have to wear a shirt with sleeves, or leave the new shoes on for the first hour and then you can change.  Don't go there - you will only cause her to HATE you and you will be riddled with guilt.  Just LET IT BE.

Dressing Room for One

Do not go into the dressing room with your Teen!  Don't even suggest it.  You will be accused of staring at their body parts and being a pervert.  Just stay out of that area all together.  If they say it fits, it fits.  If you really are concerned about the clothing fitting, let her open the door and show you.  Remember it will be a 3 second glance so have your beady eyesight focussed and ready for the QUICK FLASH.

Poker Face

Do not be over-enthusiastic about any specific item. Don't gush about how cute something looks on her or that she should really get the matching bag.  Be cool, don't act too excited when you finally get something that she likes at the 12th store you've been to.  Be nonchalant and casual about it all.  I know you want to hang out the flags and pop the fucking champagne, but restrain yourself!

Suggest Nothing

Don't make too many suggestions, she needs to be able to find her own style and navigate her own way through the shops.  Suggesting "what about this green one?" will only aggravate your young shopper beyond the point of explosion and saying "There's nothing here! Lets just go home!" and you having to deal with the lip that's tripping her and the huffing attitude for the rest of the day.  Just know everything is YOUR fault!

Keep Hydrated

You will be traipsed around 20 different stores before you find the right style, colour, shape and cut.  You will get fed up standing around.  Your feet will hurt. You will need to visit the bathrooms at least thrice.  Be prepared, keep drinks and snacks in your handbag for these trips.  Keep tissues on hand too for the tears...there is bound to be one person crying by the end of the day.  If its not your daughter for hating herself after staring into those horrid retail shop mirrors, then it will be you for the blood thats gushing out of your mouth from biting your tonuge all day.

Remember to reward yourself afterwards with an EXTRA LARGE glass of wine, especially if you stuck to tips on my list.  Reward yourself with an even BIGGER glass of wine if you failed to follow any of the tips above - because you're going to need it.

Better yet Shop online.....posted with LOVE.


4 comments:

cat said...

I am so glad mine actually likes shopping and is not a tomboy And thankfully only 10 so I am still allowed in the dressing room.

Kammi said...

This sounds like VERY GOOD ADVISE! And this coming form a mom with a 4 year old! Son! I took him shopping for PJ's the other day... since he won't wear what I buy if he does not like it and I end up wasting money ... and it took FOR EVER, and we had to go to 6 shops and we still only got 2 pairs when he needed 4 !

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Pretend you don't even know her - funny! You're a good mom.
Tell her tomboy is cool. My wife is still a tomboy.

Andrew Leon said...

I empathize.

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