Best of 2011

To celebrate the end of the year, I thought some highlighs of 2011 would be in order.


Lindsay Lohan gets her kit off for Playboy for $1 million and her secret diary revealed that she was dating Heath Ledger when he died.

The Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.  Millions of people around the world watched the beautiful Kate become the Princess of Cambridge and exchange vows with Willy.

Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London home after dying from what was later announced as "too much alcohol".

There were plenty celebrity babies born in 2011:

• Mariah and Nick Cannon welcomed twins in April - Moroccan and Monroe.
• Natalie Portman and fiance welcomed Aleph in June.
• Pink welcomed her daughter Willow Sage.

Beyoncé announced her pregnancy with Jay-Z and is due in 2012.

Giuliana Rancic was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Ame Deal was locked in a box and left to die.

Will Smith and Jada plan to divorce after 15 years of marriage.  Who knows what will happen with their celebrity superstar kids, Jaden and Willow?

Dallas Wiens was th first person in America to receive a complete face transplant

Arkay the Alcohol-free whisky flavoured drink was branded and promoted.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries spent $10 million on getting hitched only to get divorced 72 days later.

Dumb Blonde Crystal Harris left the world famous playboy, Hugh Hefner, only days before they planned to get married!


Demi Moore announced that she's filing for divorce from Ashton Kutcher.

And that was a look at what happened in 2011 in Celebrityville.  What was your Best of 2011?

Water Park, Coke on a Rope and a Playboy Penthouse Party

A brilliant day out at the water park. 

 

The weather was perfect; not a cloud in the sky, the sun blazing down kissing our skin.  It was a flawless summer’s day and a large group of my friend and I were happily bobbing down the lazy bendy water slide in over-sized hot pink tubes and having a blast.  We were giggling and high fiving each other for bringing our “Coke on a Rope” with us.  

“Coke on a Rope” is a two liter Coke bottle filled with brandy and coca-cola tied to our tubes and dangling in the water to keep it cold.  Occasionally, we passed the bottle around to every one for a swift swig, which kept our spirits high and the buzz constant.

Our laughter was getting louder and louder as the booze bubbled in our bellies and we started to attract a little attention from the other Water Slides Natives.  It wasn’t priority to invite more jovials to join our group because that meant less "Coke on a Rope" for us. 

Nevertheless these natives were celebrities!  Popular celebrities!

Guess who was there?

Paris and Nicky Hilton! 

I shite you not.

Paris in her teeny weeny gold string bikini and Nicky in her retro swimsuit both wearing Gucci over-sized Sunnies and wide smiles. 

They were curiously asking us all sorts of questions about why we were making so much racket, what we were laughing at but the Hilton Sisters were mostly interested in our "Coke on a Rope" and what concoction was hiding inside. 

When we told the pair of them about the huge amounts of never-ending brandy that was in our bottle, they were sold on joining our group for the afternoon festivities.  

We had a great time going on the water slides and in the wave pool.  Our never-ending bottle of booze kept us all going and in the party mood.  

When it was eventually time to leave the water park, we all didn’t want the party to end so Paris and Nicky suggested we head on over to their place.  “Why don’t you join us at the Playboy Penthouse?  We have the place to ourselves for the evening!”.

Fuck Yeah!  Of course we were in.  Brilliant!

We all piled in a mini-bus and more merriment was enjoyed en-route to the Playboy Penthouse with Paris and Nicky.  When we got out it was like something out of the films.  It was open bar, snack platters everywhere, topless waiters and waitresses, everyone prancing around in their bikinis (we all had skinny hot bodies and fake golden tans).  We even have a personal  live DJ throwing out loud pumping music and a massive heated pool with bubbles.  We were in heaven!

Next thing I saw the barmen carrying in crates of Caramel Vodka.  Dozens of shots were laid out for us to enjoy.  We couldn’t get enough.  What a wild party we had!

Paris eventually came over and said “Nicky and I have to go, we have a club opening to attend but you guys stay and enjoy the party”.

Of course we did.  You don’t have to tell us twice!

It was the best party ever!  I even caught one of my friends snogging a  woman and was so shocked that she was having some girl-on-girl action!  I was mortified to know that her son was watching her make out with a girl, though! 

Then…

…guess who sauntered into the party in his maroon smoking jacket, silk  cravat and smoking a giant pipe?   Hugh Hefner!

Yeah! He was pretty much in the background though.  No one spoke to him, we just all knew who he was but he was almost unapproachable.  He just walked around polluting the air with his stinky pipe and ordered the staff to keep the bar well-stocked and clean.

The best party of my life!

When I woke up this morning I was beaming from ear to ear.  What a saucy adventure!  I closed my eyes to remember all the details so that I wouldn’t forget anything because I knew I was gonna blog about it.

I love my dream adventures!

The Heff

Hugh Hefner facinates me.

Not only is he one of those guys who, not matter how old he is, will attract young busty gorgeous hotties. 

So what exactly does this old codger have?  Why has he been surrouded by a harem of women his whole life?

Why do these women wanna hang out with an old fart who still wears smoking jackets and cravats? 

Yeah, he was hot stuff in his "hey day" but honest  - how can a 85 year old man still attract all the hottest women in the land when they can have Colin Farrel?

Ok, I get some of it.  He's rich with the entire Playboy empire racking up the interest in the bank,  he is a self-made celebrity, he throws the best parties, wherever he goes he is surrounded by the paparazzi.  But how come the busty platinum blondes still flock to this wrinkled old bastid?  What else does he have?

"Picasso had his pink period and his blue period. I am in my blonde period right now" - Hugh Hefner

It can't be a big dick because he's 85 and physiology predicts that by the time you are Hugh's age his Wee Man is shrivelled and wrinkled.  So, it can't be that.  Perhaps he has a talented tongue.

I think I might be his charisma and the fact that he's 85 years old and still acts like 25 year old.  You know, You At Heart and all that crap.

"The interesting thing is how one guy, through living out his own fantasies, is living out the fantasies of so many other people" - Hugh Hefner

Whatever it is...he is one lucky Fucker.
 
 
Did you know?
 
Hugh Hefner once had a foursome with his wife, brother and sister-in-law.  A foursome did happen with his brother, Keith, and his wife, Rae, one evening. But while Millie ultimately backed out of having sex with Keith, Hugh slept with his sister-in-law.


Hefner's thirst for sexual experience became so strong that he even had a one-time homosexual experience.  One evening in downtown Chicago he was propositioned and... he thought 'What the hell...' As far as I know, the guy just gave him oral sex.


Heff Rocks!