10 Things I Learned Recently

Happy June, my lovely Plonkers

Welcome to my birthday month!  It's gonna be a goodie, I can feel it in my 40 year old bones [feel free to send expensive gifts and cash, I really do have to finish my tattoo sleeve].  

Daffy Duck sung it best in this episode

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And when in doubt try a briefcase full of money...and not on to the actual post....

1.  The Movie 21 and Over made me giggle like an old whore who found a ribbed cucumber.

2. Being a Study Buddy to a ten year old can be both fun and frustrating.   Who knew the Life Cycle of Water could be learned in song?  Just call me... Super-Mum!

3.  It's better to do one thing really, really well than putting you're finger in too many pies.  

3. Never underestimate the power and instantaneousness of Google.

4. I'm loving the series Mrs Brown's Boys. Its fekkin' hilarious.  Do you think its appropriate  for my 7 year old to be watching??




5.  I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.  I shite you not.  Everything is either boiled or deep fried.  Everything tastes like slippery cardboard.

6.  I've become addicted to The Royal Bump Watch.  Kate Middleton is such a cute preggie Mum-to-Be.

7.   Anything that comes in a can and has an expiry date one year later, can NOT be good for you.

8.  It's not what you say, it's what you do.

9.  Wearing my favourite perfume makes me feel confident and sexy.

10.  No steel or wooden stake can pierce the human heart so chillingly as a full stop at the right moment.

Best of 2011

To celebrate the end of the year, I thought some highlighs of 2011 would be in order.


Lindsay Lohan gets her kit off for Playboy for $1 million and her secret diary revealed that she was dating Heath Ledger when he died.

The Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.  Millions of people around the world watched the beautiful Kate become the Princess of Cambridge and exchange vows with Willy.

Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London home after dying from what was later announced as "too much alcohol".

There were plenty celebrity babies born in 2011:

• Mariah and Nick Cannon welcomed twins in April - Moroccan and Monroe.
• Natalie Portman and fiance welcomed Aleph in June.
• Pink welcomed her daughter Willow Sage.

Beyoncé announced her pregnancy with Jay-Z and is due in 2012.

Giuliana Rancic was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Ame Deal was locked in a box and left to die.

Will Smith and Jada plan to divorce after 15 years of marriage.  Who knows what will happen with their celebrity superstar kids, Jaden and Willow?

Dallas Wiens was th first person in America to receive a complete face transplant

Arkay the Alcohol-free whisky flavoured drink was branded and promoted.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries spent $10 million on getting hitched only to get divorced 72 days later.

Dumb Blonde Crystal Harris left the world famous playboy, Hugh Hefner, only days before they planned to get married!


Demi Moore announced that she's filing for divorce from Ashton Kutcher.

And that was a look at what happened in 2011 in Celebrityville.  What was your Best of 2011?

Celebs I love to Hate

#1 Kate Middleton


Is she pregnant or isn't she? Just tell us for fuck's sake. First it was preggies with twins in September and now in November the press announce she's pregnant again. Phantom pregnancy or just a press stunt?


Yeah, we all want to find out if she does have a wee yun and especially if its a girl, because then that wee pumpkin would be 2nd in line to the throne after Willy with the new law recently passed. 

How fucking cool what THAT be? Stay tuned.

#2 Kanye West and self-christened Ghetto Pope and morst recently declares himself the new King of Pop
 
What a fucking cocksmoking doochebag!  Keep your lap-flapping for singing, Plonker.  

Just Shut the fuck up!

#3 Lindsay Lohan

What will she do next?  

From the sweet wee redheaded lassie in the Parent Trap, to in and out of prison for various things including drunk driving, possession and I'm sure one of them was soliciting.  

Whatever she's up to, we want to know.  Its hard not to want to know who she's banging (male or female) and what she'll be arrested for next.

#4 The Kardashians

The whole family is a complete fucking freak show. I mean, they have their own reality show. Where the prepubescent girls are practicing stripping and pole dancing. Kim Kardashian is famous for a sex tape and her 2 month marriage and subsequent divorce.  Bruce is famous for winning a gold medal back in the stone age and notto mention, a great advertisement for male Botox. What’s not to love to hate?

#5  Lady Gaga

She wild and whacky and never ceases to draw a crowds attention.  Whether she's wearing a meat dress or falling over in publict because of some ridiculously high platform shoes, its all a big circus with her.

Gaga is just nutz and she looks fucking shite without make up.

Who are your favourite celeb that you love to hate?

Royal Fawk You Friday and Bridal Shoegasm

Boobies, Babies and a Blog hosts Fawk You Friday.  Go link up and bitch to your wee hearts content.

This week's Fuck You goes out to Kate Middleton.  Today she nicks Prince Willy away from anyone else...

Seeing as The Royal Wedding is happening today, I have kept the Shoegasm this week in the bridal theme.  Go and link up at Peace Love Appelsauce.

Wedding Heels Christian Louboutin

Jimmy Choo Wedding Heels

Cole Haan's new bridal line of Nike Air Heels.  I shit you not.

Dazzling Report Signature heels with elastic sling back



Gorgeous Georgina Goodman.  I love stripey soles!



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