And the Winner is...

Caption my Photo Competition #20 winner is 

Alex J. Cavanaugh

Damn, Ginger - what the hell happened last night? And who the hell is that dude?

Fuck You Friday and a Shoegasm

I'm bringing back Fuck You Friday this week.

Coz I can.  Coz I wanna.

Fuck you to the bloke who tried to con me yesterday by phoning my hubby to say he found my ID book and driver's license in a dustbin.  This dude tried to get my hubby to meet him in a dodgy area to fetch my "stuff", obviously with the intent of trying to hi-jack or robbing him.  who knows what his intent was?  

The guy wouldn't give his details or telephone number to my husband, which he found very fishy.  The ConMan even phoned back 10 minutes later to find out if my hubby was on his way to meet with him.  "Private Number".

In the meantime, hubby had phoned me to find out if I'd lost my purse or my wallet.  I told him everything was safely with me and  that I had my ID book, drivers license, all my bank cards and credit card.  Fucking Fucker Scammer!

Doochenozzle...

and now on to something that makes me smile.

Shoes

 

Pretty Lace Nude Heels

Love these stripey Wedges

Sailor Anchor Red Stripey Flats

and on to my favourite shoemaker - Christian Louboutins.....so HOT

Christain Louboutin Classic Peep Toe Slingback.  

I'm drooling....wait, I just had a Shoegasm...

Death By Champagne Cork

Oh, it happens.

I shit you not.

Fears.   

Phobias.  

Completely random acts and things scare people.  We swirl all these worries and doubts around our pea-brains, and they manifest into irrational terrors and bizarre anxieties for arbitrary objects or situations.  I find it profusely amusing. 

Why?  I hear you say?

Because… I am a sicko?  Because ... I have a wicked sense of humour?  Because.... I have a incredibly vivid imagination?

No.

FACT :  You’re more likely to get killed by a vending machine that be attacked by a shark?

Odds:  1 in 112 million.  Snack responsibly, Plonkers

FACT :  Ovulating women think bad boys make good dads.

 

These are facts, but I still can’t go to sleep if I know there is a spider in the room.  I’m not exactly sure what I think will happen to me.  I fear that the little Fucker will crawl inside my ear and lay spidettes while I'm sleeping, or spin a web over my face, or even stroll past my Turkey Purse, smile and wave - or worse, pop in for a cuppa and a slice of cake.

Just the thought makes me shiver and freak the fuck out.

However…

FACT :  You’re more likely to die in an asteroid apocalypse than accidentally die of erotic asphyxiation.

Odds: 1 in 12,500

FACT : Falling Coconuts kill 150 every year!

And yet my silly fear of vermin freezes me instantly.  I know in my head it’s ridiculous.  I mean, seriously, I’m probably 100 times bigger than a wee mouse, but yet the thought of that long, rope rat tail and tiny feet scratching through my house nibbling on everything, drives me to drink and possibly hard drugs. 

FACT : You're eight times more likely to be killed by a police officer than by a terrorist attack.

FACT : You’re more likely to die while texting than fireworks exploding in your face.

And yet we fear teeny tiny fleas and lice, suffer from coulrophobia.  We dread and obsess of getting old and being alone and yet we still insist on thinking we’re fine to drink and drive.

Go figure.

When I Think About You....I touch my Elf

 

So, this year we’ve organised something a little different for Christmas Day.

Every year, we have our traditional Christmas turkey dinner with all the trimmings at home.  We slog ourselves stukken in the kitchen;  chopping, cutting, stuffing, preparing and baking piles of food.  We inevitably burn our fingers on the oven or a pot, we eat for about 20 minutes and then we spend the next part of the day cleaning up and doing never ending piles of dirty dishes....and land up being fucking exhausted for the rest of the day and having left-overs for weeks. 

Not this year, Plonkers.

After the usual opening truck loads of presents at home on Christmas morning, we are going OUT for Christmas Dinner.
 
Hell yeah.

Kenjara Lodge and Restaurant is our gorgeous destination.

Check it out.  

An awesome Christmas spread in beautiful African surroundings.  Quiet, tranquil, peaceful with a full stocked, and dare-I-say-it, impressive Wine Cellar.  No Christmas dinner is complete without a good bottle of wino collapso.

Hell, I could even fit it an afternoon safari game drive if I wanted to.


How fekkin brilliant is that?


No clean up
No burnt fingers
No post dishes exhaustion
No anticlimax blues
No promising to never do it again

I may even book a room and spend the night.

and now on to sometime completely different....have you guys seen the current viral YouTube video BatDad? 

Check it out.

Caption My Photo Competition #20

 

 
Win A Daft Scots Lass tattoo and some yummy Source Roots of Nature hand cream in Moroccan rose and sensuous amber.  Good enough to eat, y'all.

Simply caption this daft image of mine, Plonkers.  

Best description wins.  Winner will be announced on Saturday.

Couldn't be more simple.