[A Daft Scots Lass]

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Can You Handle It? Why are Men Less Stressed than Women

Are men really less stressed than women? Well, what else would you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't bleed for 5 days evey 28 days.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too fucking disgusting.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress R8000 vs Tux rental-R200.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is R8.95 for a three-pack.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are less stressed...

Blog Award

Thanks to Nanny over at

Naughty Mommy Reviews and Junk for the One Lovely Blog Award.

I certainly don't thinking I fall into the "Lovely" category but I'm glad she thinks I do.

So now, here are the rules for those of you that I also give this award to.

1. Accept the award. Post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog.

2. Pay it forward to 10 other bloggers that you have newly discovered.

3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they've been chosen.

I now take it upon myself to alter it (ever-so-slighty - coz I can, Wankers) to something a little more appropriate for my blog choices

Enjoy Kick Ass Bloggers!

Saturday, 18 September 2010

I wanna be a billionaire so frikken bad....

Outside England's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses.

For 25 years, it's parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were for cars £1.40 for cars and about £7 for buses.
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.

The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility.

The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.

The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy ... is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about £560 per day for 25 fucking years!!

Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over 7 million pounds ... and no one even knows his name.

Friday, 17 September 2010

Flash Fiction Friday 55 - Episode 22

Writing is the name of this game. The aim is to write a complete story in 55 words. Sometimes its easy, sometimes you have no clue. I don't claim to be a writer (at all) but what does come out is from the heart.

So, head on over and join the Blorgy of Writers - to G-Man (The Blorgologist) and hook up with him and write your 55. Here's mine:

Lights, Camera, Action!

Heavy red velvet curtains slowly open

Excited twinkling-eyed 7 years olds enter Stage Left

Cue Music!

Dancing,

Singing,

Twirling and Bopping

Showcasing their carefully practised moves

Loud Applause from the thrilled Audience

But the spectators are only The Pparents

Waving mum’s and dad’s wearing goofy smiles and moist eyes

Beaming with Pride

FlogYoBlog Friday hosted at
Random Ramblings of a SAHM.

Blog Stalk Friday is hosted by Crazy Brunette Chick

Head on over there to meet The Princess of Class, Trash and Sass. Follow her rules or she'll go loco on yer ass!

Fawk you Friday over at Boobies

Here's mine for the week:

The stubborn hangover I suffered on Monday, all day! I'm never fucking drinking again...
The vicision South African sun that burnt my pearly white scottish skin toa crisp over the weekend. I love summer but my tender skin does NOT play along.
F-F-Fuck you to the arsewipe that thought he was gonna cut me off in traffic on Wednesday morning. My kilowatts are more than yours, Wanker! Step aside..The Orange ST Beast's turbo kicks in and nails your pathetic Loser arse to the wall. Dipshit!
My final Fuck You goes out to the two little piss-willies who tried to rob my Boerewors of his cellphone in the traffic yesterday. Did you little Bastid Fuckers think you would get it right?

Thursday, 16 September 2010

Kaylin's School Concert

Its been a busy week for us with Megan's concert four nights this week.

Kaylin had her opening night last night and I really wasn't expecting anything from my wee Aspies four year old. The last two years in a row its been chronic stage fright, loads of sobbing tears and "I waaaant my Muuuuuummmy!".

Last night was COMPLETELY different! She was a Soopa Star and I couldn't have been prouder.

KK was front and centre and with a smile that went all the way around her head, she danced and sang her wee heart out. I was beaming with pride and yes my eyes were welling up! Shut up, don't judge me....

Anyhoo, their theme was Rock 'n Roll and they'd gone all out with the decor and props. They even had some old classic cars parked out front. What a show...