Monday, 15 February 2010

Monday Male

Meet our 6th Monday Male

Mark is a South African in his mid thirties with a thirst for life and the need to find the meaning of life.  He is a father of three, has been happily married for 13 years who enjoys writing, photography, surfing, running and snowboarding.  He has two sons and 10 weeks ago he became a dad again, this time to the most adorable wee girl-child, Isabella. In between all of this, he is rebuilding a truck called Tweety.

I started my blog Ranting's of a mad man about two years ago in a state of disillusioned madness. My life was beginning again after a graceful exit from the corporate world. A world I found to be filled to arrogance with money, power, and outrageous values. And yet I was disgusted with my own need for recognition in this very place that disappointed me so. 

Truth be told, I was tired! Tired of the meaningless input of effort into a big machine that rewarded me with pieces of silver, but secretly took away far more from me in the process! I had willingly surrendered my spirit, the best hours of the day, all my energy, and almost sacrificed the life I had with my young and growing family, at the very time when they needed me most!

My blog has since become a tongue twisted outpouring of my tortured spirit, as I have tried to figure out a better path for me to travel. A path hopefully filled with family and love. A journey together with others instead of under the guidance of my narcissistic instincts! Hopefully by blogging I will find a book within and challenge other men who find themselves in my old space. I also hope that my writing ability will grow, become exciting, and filled with a real message of love. Most of all, I hope that as I try to find my way in this world I inspire others to do the same! I have a lot of hope!

Something I wish somebody had told me about being a dad:

Gillian, I have chosen this question of yours as this is one of my favourite topics. I don’t apologise for sounding harsh and uncompromising as I believe that most men think they are great dads but in reality have no idea of the power they wield and the devastation they cause in their children’s lives without even realising it!

Being a dad is a big thing. Being a mom is massive, but I think we all know this. We know that we cannot do without moms in our homes but it seems to me that dads are viewed as an added extra. An additional bonus, if you will, one we can well do without.

I really believe that society is happy to excuse fathers from their role at home as dads. Why? Who knows, but there certainly seems to be an understanding that men have little responsibility on the home front. Their job is to go out and work, and possibly to attend the odd school function.

I wish somebody had told me that the decision to become a dad is in fact a decision about an incredible sacrifice. A sacrifice that is hard and time consuming but also potentially the most rewarding one ever! Once one has children, their wellbeing must always come first. When we put our own needs above our children’s, they watch and they learn. And then one day in life they go out and do the same thing to everyone else.

I wish somebody had told me that the power we have as parents is awesome. We can shape our children to mirror our failures by continuing to be our selfish selves. Or we can take this innocent being and stunt their growth and destroy their potential through our own weaknesses. We can of course also choose to work harder at using our power wisely in order to give our children the best chance of becoming adults that lead fulfilling and valuable lives.

I wish that somebody had told me that my kids are worth more time and energy than just the stuff I have left over at the end of the day. In fact they are worth the sacrifice of my getting ahead at work, of my deadlines, and the fun I like to have. The investment I make in them now while they are kids is one of the most valuable I will ever make. If I wait till I have time and energy, the moment of my greatest impact will have long past.

I wish somebody had told me that quality time is a myth, children need all of the time that I have and more.

I wish somebody had told me that my success as a parent can never be measured. All I can hope for is to see my children grow up happy!

I once heard of a beautiful concept, that a parent has just seven summers with their children, from when they are able to really interact until they are teenagers. In this time, we as parents get to build a relationship with each of our children that will allow us to guide them through crucial phases in their lives. Most teenagers find their parents influence far less important than that of their friends or music. Interesting enough, at this very time, so many men find themselves fighting hardest to progress in their careers. Some will find success with their careers, but most will find their children turning into people that they do not know.

To all the real men out there, stand up, put more effort into your children than your job, and lets make a valuable difference in our children’s lives!

Wise words indeed....now go and visit his blog.

Thanx again, Mark.  I know that you have been a busy man lately and I really appreciate you taking the time to contribute to my wee blog.

9 comments:

That Gal Kiki said...

What a fantastic post. Very well written. I'm off to read Mark now. Cheers, C

KK said...

He sounds great and possibly naked??

Technogran said...

What a wonderful post. It nearly brought tears to my eyes!

Brian Miller said...

great abswer to the dad question...off to visit.

Library girl said...

Oohhh so bloody true!! Tongue tied? I think not! That says so perfectly what I have long suspected but had such trouble expressing.

Fragrant Liar said...

So nice to hear an informed father's perspective. I wish him the best.

Kim Ayres said...

That was a damn fine insight and post!

AmyLK said...

Love this post! Heading over to his blog now! Thanks for sharing him.

angel said...

Fabulous interview.
This world needs more dads like you Mark.

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